Lower than BM?
Before I met DH, I was laid off from the best job that I’ve ever had. I’ve had a few jobs since then, but they’ve all been “scrub” jobs that I haven’t been satisfied. Last night I informed DH that working at Walmart wasn’t very glamorous, and I’d like to quit and pursue a different path (I have several promising applications turned in). Going to these worthless jobs makes me feel worthless and unhappy. We had skids last night. He quit speaking to me until after they went to bed, at which time he proceeded to basically tell me what a POS I was. He “reminded” me that he told me that before we got serious that he wanted someone that would work, since he put up with BM not working their entire marriage. By this point, I’ve been in tears for hours. I felt like a big enough loser at that point, but then he said “You know, BM didn’t work our entire marriage, but at least she has kept a job for almost a year now.” That hurt. Bad. I cried myself to sleep. Told him about how it made me feel this morning, and he won’t even apologize. He just said “well, I guess you know how mad it made me.” I’m lower than BM.
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There was no excuse for his
There was no excuse for his response. That was out of line. I'm so sorry he made you feel that way. Its not easy to do, I barely can do it, but you have to get your self worth from yourself not him. He isnt be supportive at all.
Ever feel punished for the
Ever feel punished for the mistakes of BM??
That's my whole relationship with my stbEX!
What an ass!!! Sorry, but
What an ass!!! Sorry, but that was over the line!! It isn't like you are trying to quit and stay home... A man should never compare his wife to his ex. That is just absolutely wrong. I feel for you, I'm sorry you are having to endure this.
That is an impossibly hurtful
That is an impossibly hurtful thing for a partner to say.
Lots and lots of hugs!
Insane! If my DH ever told me
Insane!
If my DH ever told me something like this I would seriously want to knock him over the head. DH worked while BM was SAH, he provided everything financially. Part of the reason for marrying me is that I have the potential to make good $ and help financially support our family, unlike BM. I'm not working right now though, and BM has a shitty part-time job, just the way she likes it. But if he ever compared me like that, well, I'd be ready to tell him, "Well, why don't you and BM get back together then?! Since she's so good at holding down a job now...", knowing that'll get to him, because he would never get back with BM, not for a million dollars.
Anyway, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Your DH is being an unsupportive a$$ indeed!
I told GG that maybe he
I told GG that maybe he should go back to the Behemoth since she now is SOOOOO much better than me and that I "tricked" him with "bait and switch" tactics.
He said "maybe I will!"
Of coures he feels the house is half his so has been back to his "honeymoon" cycle.
That's right. . .bite sugar mama's hand!!! Pathetic!!
Exactly! I think we as SMs
Exactly! I think we as SMs are often punished for the sins of the BM!!
GG told me pretty much the same thing. That I shouldn't criticize the Behemoth simply b/c I've put on weight since eight years ago (i've gone through menopause and extreme skid stress)
I hate when they compare us disfavourably to the BM!!!
I mean come on!! Make the ONE person who WAS in your corner the ENEMY!! Smacks of biting the hand that feeds you!!
I feel your pain, Livizzle!!
NN has not compared me
NN has not compared me unfavorably to BM. Lucky for him.
BUT - he is extremely insecure and jealous...which maybe JUST MAYBE might be due to BM screwing anything that would have her during their relationship.
Otherwise, he KNOWS he's got it good. When he's in his right mind, anyway. Pretty soon he'll realize how good he HAD it!
Okay, your DH is being a
Okay, your DH is being a jerk.
However, I really seriously advise you, DO NOT quit your current job UNTIL you secure a new one. Applications are not guarantees, and I can understand his frustration at the thought of suddenly becoming the sole income (again, this does not excuse his hurtful comparisons to BM).
Trust me, I know how low these kinds of jobs can make you feel. I've been there. People are so rude! Still, you have to keep your head up and just remember that you are better than this. You have to be firm in your self-confidence, and when you need a refresh after a particularly bad day, indulge and do something that makes YOU happy.
Really though, BM comparisons aside, if you're responsible for paying a portion of the bills, don't quit until you have another job firmly secured. I would be pissed if my BF suddenly quit his job and left me with the bills.
I've had several crap and
I've had several crap and sweat shop jobs myself. Not finishing college has greatly aided to my years of work at craptacular jobs.
Perhaps we should start a new post to encourage Livizzle in knowing that "this too shall pass?"
Ah well I think when working
Ah well I think when working those jobs, we all have those days that just bring you down to a low, low place. It can really wear on you, and it sounds like she's been trying to move forward (with the new applications), but perhaps she had one of those bad days and wanted to jump the gun a bit to get the heck out of the current job. Of course, the resulting hits from DH on top of feeling crappy about a job cannot have done any good. I really live by "this too shall pass," but you know sometimes you just want it to be OVER with already.
I don't get this mentality.
I don't get this mentality. I'm the one who works from home right now. When I first married Wife, she had a great career and didn't consider my working at home to be a
productive use of my time.
I said "fine, but I don't want DS in daycare, so YOU can stay home with him. And keep up on the house."
Well, her tune changed pretty quick after she was home with DS, doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errand running, DSs social activities, much less trying to keep up on her education. She now realizes "what I do all day". Your DH should appreciate you and support you whether you work or not. Being a parent is a full time gig by itself!