Pro and Con List about your SO/DH
Over the weekend, I did alot of thinking on whether or not I am going to stay in this relationship with my FDH or end it now due to his inability to parent and allowing his son to be so disrespectful.
Anyway, I did a Pro (reasons to stay with him) & Con (reasons to leave him) list....... I've been with him for a little over 5 years, engaged for 1 year, 4 months. We have been having problems with his son for 2 years, but it has finally escalated to the point of me putting my foot down and saying no more.
My Pro list had 2 items on it
My Con list........ had over 50 items on it
Has anyone else ever made one of these and has it helped you make a decision???? Just wondering.
- lost hope's blog
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Comments
I love doing pros and cons
I love doing pros and cons lists but I guess you have to be careful when you do it as to what frame of mind you are in ... were you annoyed with your FDH when you sat down to do the list? Maybe that caused you to overlook some pros because you were in a negative frame of mind?
Although being 50 to 2, I'm thinking it really doesn't matter, that the scale is tipped too far to recover
I havent ever really done a
I havent ever really done a pro/con list with a bf or my stbxH, but in my mind and heart I already knew that there were tons more cons if I still chose to stay with my stbxH, I didnt need to write them all down because I already knew I should leave, and thats what Im doing!
I havent' done it because
I havent' done it because sometimes the qualities of the pros/cons differ so much its hard to compare them just by number. You sound like me though. I have been doing the same. Lots of thinking going on in my head about what I will continue to deal with.
The moving into the same
The moving into the same house & the wedding has been put on hold. I just can't see myself living there or marrying him while his son is still in the house and controlling everything like he does.
I think the issue is that he
I think the issue is that he allows his son to control everything and that is the root of the problems. By allowing all the bad things he is not doing things to make the situation better and therefore it is extremely inconsiderate to you and your relationship with him. I know as I'm going through the same thing and I think that is the core of all the distress that I feel. I love my DH but if I cannot be happy because he expects me to endure bad circumstances that are out of my control but in his, then where do I draw the line? The thing I do have power over is my own actions. Sometimes we have to be proactive and make changes for our own health when no one else is really considering our well being.