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Disengaging starting now...

LPS's picture

Submitted by LPS on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 3:57pm

Asked DH if she spoke with SD about the smell, he said, I smelled her, she's not smoking pot. I said, she just took a shower. He said, we'll I put my nose in her mouth. I said, this is not the first time, if I smell it again, I'm going to buy a drug test and test her. He immediately got mad and said he didn't agree. I said, "you know what, you worry about it, I'm disengaging right now."

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LPS's picture

Submitted by LPS on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 4:02pm

:jawdrop: hahahahahhahahaha......that's awesome. I should have DH come too, it can be a family day out.

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 4:04pm

LPS,

You can only disengage if you can make it not bother you - that is the key to disengagement.

What I do is take 1 quick moment and ask myself, how does this effect me? What will this gain me? Is the fallout going to be worth it?

if it doesn't effect me, it only makes me the badguy and there is fallout, screw it. Next topic.

Drugs in my home would be unacceptable, so, next time she takes a shower or when you can, search for them - discard them, and you can choose to say nothing - what is she going to do, accuse of you taking her drugs??

My issues are much smaller today, SS6 will 'steal' candy from others and hide it in his room, I simply go remove all candy from his room when he isn't here and throw it out - I don't have to tell anyone, he took what wasn't his, he can't go to DH, DH doesn't care if I go to him anyway just makes me the badguy, the offending stolen candy is either back where it belongs or thrown out so I am happy.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 04/26/2012 - 4:09pm

Agreed drugs in the house is a deal breaker. I would search her room thoroughly. If I found anything, i would call the police, but that's just me-I know some would handle it differently.