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I SERIOUSLY Hate him right now

LPS's picture

MY son, my BS14 is such a thorn in my side. He is just so fucking stubborn, does whatever the hell he wants, could care less about me and his responsibilities and everything is always MY fault. Every week he's always late for school, he never wakes up in the morning, of course it's always my fault too. On Friday, I told him he is now responsible to set an alarm and wake up by himself, and that if he isn't ready by 7:20 he's walking to school, it's less than a mile, he's supposed to walk away but he so catered too that I drive him. So, last night at 10pm, when I went to bed, I asked him if he set his alarm, he said yes, 6:30. So this morning, I don't know why I was actually expecting him to be up, at 6:45 he's still sound asleep. I told him to get up, no response, so now 6:50 I said hope you have fun walking because I am not driving you, that gets him out of bed. He starts yelling at me that its my fault that I didn't wake him up, so of course it becomes a whole screaming match, then I tell him, I am sick of it. I am not driving him now and tonight he is going to bed at 10pm and then it starts, Im not going to school now and he then calls his father. So, his father texts me that I should drive him because his backpack is so heavy and blah blah blah..... again BS starts with me, so I smacked him across the face, which I never do, and I took everything out of his room.

My ex says that this week was suppossed to be smooth bc hes watching them because I am going away on friday-wed. If he gives a problem that hes not taking the kids now, I will have DH watch DD and BS can stay with his father.

Im ready to scream and leave this house, I swear. I will be spending the day with my furry nephew and not come home today.

Comments

SASX's picture

LPS:

If he doesn't go to school, call the truancy officer to pick him up. Your little banty rooster is attempting to crow. Time to wrap an elastic band around his beak or he will never shut up.

Time management, self sufficiency and responsibility are all tools kids need to be taught. Your doing the right thing is making him responsible and holding him accountable.

His dad/ Your ex does not get a say in your house. Just as I am sure you have no say in his house. If dad wants him to have a ride, he can come drive him.

As for the pop in the mouth,I sure it surprised him more than it hurt and was a shocking reminder that MOM is in charge.

LPS's picture

I hope your right, my ex texted me ( we don't talk) saying he picked him up at the end of my block bc BS was crying. I hope he was crying because he realized the situation he put himself in. I know I didn't hurt him, he's a big strong boy.

SASX's picture

So your ex undermined you on your time?

That I would have a problem with in all honesty and would be telling the childs father that he is not to rescue the child from a consequence he brought upon himself while the child is on your parenting time.

LPS's picture

I tried so hard ignoring him but he's like oil and Im water. I can't just leave because I have BD8 to get ready in the morning. I did set an alarm for him, just now, on his ipod, to go off every morning at 6:30. I told him earlier, if I don't have to put him to bed, then I don't have to wake you up and I'm going to stick to it. I took everything out of his room, if he wants to stay home, he can do nothing all day. He's with his father now, who texted me earlier that I'm not allowed to smack him and that he hopes everything goes smoothly this week and now it wont because of what I did. I told him, I am allowed to smack him and if it continues like this BS will not be finishing his school year out with me, he will have to go to his house.

imjustthemaid's picture

The whole "my backpack it too heavy so I cannot walk" is such a crock of shit. SD15 tries to pull this one everyday so she can get a ride home from the bus stop. I hate these teenage years so much!!

LPS's picture

I tried this too. He goes to bed at 11. I told him bedtime tonight is at 10, that's when the shit hit the fan and that's when he starts with I'm not going to school bit. He is with my ex now, my ex is texting me that he is trying to teach our son that he must be respectful to me. I texted him back the new rules, like you said, bedtime an hour earlier and then the whole morning routine.

LPS's picture

Oh yes, thats an old story, BS can do KNOW wrong in in his eyes. BS is wonderful. Thats the thing with my ex, and what he teaches our son, its everyone elses fault and never your own.

LPS's picture

I seriously think my life would be much better and more relaxed if he didn't live here. In January there was basically the same episode as today that occurred and my son went to school and told them a bunch of lies and CPS was called on me. The case was unfounded and it took the woman 3 months to even interview me because she knew it was BS. At that time, my BS was staying at his dad and I missed him and had him come home and we went to a few therapy sessions and things were quiet and now it's starting again.

I cant stand when I ask my parents for support my mother says on one hand she understands where I am coming from and on the other hand she tells me what kind of kid I was and how she had to drive me to school. Then she goes on to me, I should be on prozac. Why aren't I on prozac? I was on it as a kid and then I was on it as an adult and as a kid I was suicidal, so I was put on it and then I was never taken off of it, it was just given to me, I was never under a dr's care for it. So I stopped it by myself almost 2 years ago. I am a fine person, I am for the most part happy, and I am like everyone else where I have good and bad days. I cant stand my mother always telling me I should be on prozac, like I should never be able to feel an emotion again. Makes me so mad when she starts with that.

Why cant I just get some respect from my son and now from my parents. I cant stand it. I am seriously going to have a nervous breakdown.

jojo68's picture

You have my sympathies as well..I have a BS15 who is the same way...I feel like screaming at him at the top of my lungs but usually in the end he does the right thing...takes a while sometimes but he does.

Anonymous_stepmom's picture

My brother was like this at 14, he actually technically failed grade 8 because he would never get up and go to school, he missed so much time. My mother had to argue with the school board to pass him into grade 9 which they reluctantly did, then of course he dropped out a few months later in grade 9. He was mouthy, called all the shots, got everything he wanted and more, nothing short of getting away with murder, he even stole my mothers car to take it for a joy ride, my mom found out about it but basically did nothing. He finally straightened up on his own accord but this was at 26 and he is now just finishing his schooling and such. I guess better late then never. I think it's good you are putting your foot down now, he will get it eventually, hopefully.

LPS's picture

Very surprised right now, BS was with my ex and when he brought him home for something, I asked him to come inside. I wanted him to hear everything I say to BS and vise verse; he listened and agreed with ME. He basically ripped our son a new one. I am in shock, how he agreed BS behavior needs to stop. Wow, score one for me.

When he was leaving to take BS to school, he told BS to say something to me. BS mumbled sorry and when I asked for what he said he didn't know. My ex got pissed but I told both him and BS don't bother, if its forced it means nothing anyway.