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Christmas Drama: BM trying to "translate" the CO in her favor

Madam Hedgehog's picture

BM pulls this bullsh!t every single year.

DH wrote BM an email trying to get some sort of confirmation that she "understands" what the CO dictates for xmas break. That way, she can't pull the "oh, I didn't know" crap when she conveniently fails to bring the kids when they're scheduled to be here.

She of course neglected to respond for a week, as per her usual.

Then she sends him this:

Next weekend is your weekend. I don't mind you having them. I just want you to know that if you don't take them next weekend you will not see them for three weeks. It's your choice.

:jawdrop:

She did not explain how or why she came to this (totally bizarre) conclusion. There has NEVER been a period of more than a week that DH has not seen the kids. All I can think is that it was some sort of scare tactic to make him agree before he could figure out what she is up to.

We looked at the calender, and, of course, BM is trying to screw us out of Xmas day with the kids. We are scheduled to get them this year. However, if she pushes back the start of the holiday until the weekend is over (even though the holiday starts on friday) then we won't see the kids until three days after Xmas.

So, DH wrote her yet another detailed email explaining exactly when the holiday started (based the public school schedule) and exactly when the boys were scheduled to be with us.

I have no doubt she'll wait until three days before Xmas to write back and give him another load of nonsense that has nothing to do with the CO whatsoever.

DH says he is going to call the cops if she doesn't bring them when they are scheduled to be here. Has anything had any luck with that?

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

What happens if you take it to court? What are the actual consequences for breaking the CO?

BM breaks the CO once a month, probably. The only time it really pisses us off is when she does it specifically to screw DH out of holidays with the kids.

Ommy's picture

If he shows up at the intended time and she doesn't release the kids like the CO says he can call the cops and if he is luckily they can scare her enough. But like said above most of the time they just give a case number...unless you know a cop. My FDH had this happen to him on his birthday when he was suppose to get them and the cop that showed up was a guy he went to high school with. The cop then proceed to tell BM that he could arrest her for kidnapping, she then handed the kids right over.

purpledaisies's picture

The one time that yuck tried to keep the boys from dh on his holiday was the first year that they divorced. This is what we did - the first day or second I can't remember that dh was to have them for christmas he told yuck that his mom was having a party (she was) and really wanted the boys to be there for that and we were having our 'christmas' then with the boys too. And to please at least let them come top that and she can pick them up at 7pm. We had a feeling sh would say yes only b/c she wants the boys to get as much loot as she can, so yep she agreed. We left at 5pm and left her a note that said this - now a side note here is that in dh's CO it states that yuck does NOT get the boys on christmas day or the eve on dh years to have them.

Yuck,

It is my visitation with the kids from now (todays date) until (the last day of his visit at this time) we will meet you at this place at this time to drop them off with you which is when your visit starts.

This was right to the point and dh did nothing wrong at all. He called the police and asked what would happen if he did this. they said nothing it is his time and they can't do anything unless she can produce a paper saying other wise. We knew she didn;t,.

We prepared for it we bought them clothes and everything they needed. The only thing that happened was that yuck did call the police and asked if it was his time and she said yes so they said they can't do anything.

that didn't stop her from telling us that they were coming to get them if we didn't bring them back but dh called her bluff and said "I know that is not what they told you as my moms neighbor is a cop and he called me." Not true but he wanted her to know she couldn't bully him anymore.

She did get her cousin to take her to my brothers house (where we were) to see try to get them back and dh told them to leave so did my brother or they would call the police and since it was my brothers house they knew they would be in trouble. My brother also told her cousin that he would be contacting her employer since that is how she knew where he lived the next day. My brother did as he said he would and she got fired for using company info like that.

My point to all of this is that if don;t let bm bully you from the beginning it helps so very much\. Don't wait for years to do it.

This didn;t stop yuck from trying to talk dh out of taking them but she also knew that if she did not show up dh wasn't going to just let it go either. They did fight a lot on the phone but in the end dh always got his boys. There were times it got very ugly like when yuck got a concealer and tried to tell dh that he said he wasn't allowed to have the boys and dh picked them up at school early.

it was just that dh wouldn't back down to yuck and kept standing up to her and doing things a different way to get them that finally yuck just gave up b/c it was getting her no where. That is my point you have to keep going and going til she finally sees that it gets her no where.