You are here

Clothing Predicament: SS2 has about 400 outfits just in his closet

Madam Hedgehog's picture

BM just gave us ANOTHER GIANT BAG of clothes for SS2, presumably in response to DH blowing up and telling her he wants her out of our lives completely.

There is also a chance she has relatives coming to visit.

These are the two situations in which BM always ends up giving us mountains of clothes for SS2. Our garage is currently filled with boxes of clothes for SS2, about 40% of which still has a price tag attached. And 100% of which is super expensive stuff from baby gap and other pricey designers.

Yes, I am happy we don't have to buy clothes for SS2.

HOWEVER, I do not understand why she can't spend even a quarter of that amount of money on buying clothes for SS5. She will only ever buy him clothes DIRECTLY AFTER we buy him clothes, and she only does it as some bizarre way to compete with DH. The other time he gets clothes is if a relative buys him clothes (more on that later).

I am also unhappy that the CS we send her is being spent on literal mountains of expensive clothing for SS2 (who as of last week has 10 pairs of shoes, all of which cost upwards of 60 bucks) and almost nothing for SS5.

I do not believe for one instant that she is giving us these clothes out of the goodness of her heart.

This is how it happens:

BM gives us between twenty to a hundred outfits (we've yet to receive less).

Two days later, the skids show up in new clothes and tell us an uncle or aunt or grandparent bought them ALL NEW CLOTHES.

It took me about five episodes of this to realize that BM is emptying to kids' closets before relatives visit to show them how neglectful DH is being and how terribly hard her life is. Then her relatives not only feel bad for her, but they go out and buy the boys a full wardrobe of expensive new clothing, which crazy a$$ BM then packs up and gives to us before the next visit from a different relative.

DH and I could have ten kids of our own, and never have to buy ANYTHING as long as they were all boys. That is how much clothing we have in the garage. We could have two sets of twins, and never buy anything new. It's insane.

Between both the boys, including pants and shirts only, we probably have close to TWO THOUSAND articles of clothing in our house and garage. That is not mentioning all the socks, underwear, jackets, etc. that she gives us.

I am furious that I can't go out and buy a nice outfit for work because of CS, but a two year old has about a thousand expensive outfits just to run around the house. It's absurd.

Comments

StubbornEnough's picture

Take them to a used baby goods store, they buy them, or give you store credit.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

We don't have one here (small town) but at this point I think we have enough clothes to make up gas money to the freaking moon.

So, I think I do a quick google search and look for one within a two hour driving distance.

I've never even heard of a use baby stuff store before. Glad you mentioned it.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This is actually an AWESOME idea. I think it would work out really well in this area, and we definitely have the stock at this point.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I really like this idea. I have resisted because we live in a small town, and all we have here is a Dillards and a JCPenny. But at this point, I think the amount of clothes we have would more than make up for a two hour drive to the nearest real city.

Maybe I should make some phone calls about the necessity of receipts.

}:)

Jsmom's picture

You need to return what you can and take the rest to a resale shop. The credit can be used for the rest of you. I love going to the resale shop and could use a credit for me and BS with no problem. They love the brand names...

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I know! I think we could actually make a killing on a garage sale at this point, but I'm worried DH would be either upset by the idea (that we weren't saving clothes for our future baby) or paranoid that BM would find out (she stalks us, so she probably would) and that she'd drag it into court somehow.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

"flag her down as she's driving by and invite her to the sale then charge her double to buy back her own stuff lol."

^^^ I LOVE this. She has been driving by our house several times a day for years now. It's so bizarre. But I think this would be a really good way to respond.

I am worried that she would tell the judge we were selling the boys clothes or something. They would entertain her nonsense long enough to drag DH back into court again, which would cost us AGAIN, and then they'd realize it was a bunch of BS but we would still have to deal with the charges.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I think this might work. I'm going to look into it and see if there is any possible way for BM to land DH with a bunch of court fees over this issue.

I'd LOVE to sell a bunch of this stuff anyway. Most of the stuff she and her relatives buy for them is uncomfortable and ridiculous anyway. We almost change the boys' clothes as soon as they get here because the stuff she puts them in is itchy or has huge plastic "things" sewn into the fabric.

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Sell sell sell then buy buy buy YOU some nice stuff!!! That is so terrible that she blows money like this when she could use that money on something worth while, like a college fund... I wouldn't say a word to DH. Just take all of them, but what he needs, back, sell them at a garage sale, a baby store that sells second hand stuff- they should give you cash and its usually 50% of what the item originally cost and treat yourself to some nice things. Don't forget to enjoy! }:)

Madam Hedgehog's picture

actually, I just talked to Dh about this and he is totally on board.

YAY.

Maybe I can finally get some new shoes. This is really brightening my day. I'm so glad I vented and you steppers chimed in with solutions.

I guess I get so overwhelmed by this whole "for the children" mindset that anything that ever belonged to them is off limits. I literally CANNOT WAIT to sell some of this crap and buy some work clothes!

jadedprincess's picture

send some my way ss1 is growing like a weed. craigslist is good too. i just bought dd5 about 300 dollars worth of cloths for 40 and she loves them Smile Smile

Madam Hedgehog's picture

glad to hear your ss is well fed. lol. ss2 has been on the borderline of failure to thrive almost since birth. i think he gets so stressed at the other house that his body just can't cope (i also think she is medicating him, but that's another issue).

i like the craiglist idea. it hadn't even crossed my mind.

Emerald's picture

I would lay out off the clothing and take a video starting with the time and date stamp on the guide channel of your cable company then make sure you just video tape it all and say on said video there are just way to many clothes for then to possibly ever need and state you are selling them to go towards future CS payments. Dirol I would also mention on the video how she drops this stuff off and how often she does so. Just cover your ass. Wink does she ever send emails about her intentions of wanting to drop clothing by? If so save all of those. In fact if she does send email I would save every email. We have saved email and any time we have had to face the judge we print out relevant ones and give them to the judge to peruse. This has saved our behinds many times.
Then of course I would go buy some new clothes for you! Smile

Madam Hedgehog's picture

She never tells us about this. She just shows up with a huge bag of clothes or occasionally several boxes. She'll lie and say some teacher at school gave her the clothes (no idea why).

I like the video idea. I think it would help if she decides to make a stink about it. We do save all her emails and texts, but the judge has refused to look at any of them so far. :?

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I really like this too. It pisses me off that ss2 is her little doll child and she is forcing ss5 to raise him. he is really getting screwed in this whole mess.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Congratulations! We have enough clothes for several boys at this point.