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The Stork is coming by

Maxwell09's picture

Just a little drop by questionnaire I wanted to ask:

Do most BM's act like it doesn't bother them or do they lash out once they find out? In our situation BM already hates us to max capicity so much so that there was no way to increase how difficult and uncooperative she already is for us to notice a difference in behavior. It is really that common for BM's to becomes difficult when finding out? Have any of you have a cordial beginning with BM that then turned bad after she found out you were pregnant? 

 

Which was your experience (or that of another stepmom you know): 

1. Unbothered

2. Unbothered publically, but privately bothered

3. Openly bothered 

Comments

Thumper's picture

You forgot 4.

After the baby arrived all 'heck' broke loose.

Is the Stork coming to youuuuuuuuuuuurrr house? IF so, YAYYYYYYY and Congradulations. I just love when the STORK arrives. Smile Smile

SteppedOut's picture

3

And made sure to plant in the skids heads... that is NOT your sibling and the baby will make you get less. The skids took that info and acted accordingly.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Congrats on the "stork delivery!"

 

#3. Big time.

DH and I don't have kids together, but BM (who was already crazy) amped up the crazy when we got engaged, amped it up even more when we moved in together, and absolutely lost what was left of her mind when we got married. I can only imagine what a baby would have done to her fragile sense of self.

So, yes, if she's that way, she'll probably be troublesome. Plan accordingly.

Survivingstephell's picture

Mine had a delayed reaction of 2 days, then she got drunk, had a temper tantrum and left the skids all alone in the house.  DH went and picked them up, they looked shell shocked.  We kept them for the rest of the week, even when she threatened to call the cops on DH.  He told she could have them back when she got her head back on staight.   

She eventually started the "replacement" talk with the skids and set out to estrange them from their father.  She won 3 of them.  (not much of a prize IMO)  

It funny how DH had another kid because he wanted one with me, not to replace anyone, but becuase that is what BM thought, she made it happen.  

Its none of BM's business but be prepared for anything if she's HC.  Prepare DH to be strong and firm in the face of her meltdown.  

Cooooookies's picture

BM2 thought I was just some bimbo internet fling.  She offered to be sister wives before our wedding.  Last year she ended up screaming in frustration "Why can't she (me) just FACK OFF back to America?!!!!!?!!!?!?!" when DH kept telling her they were over, he loved me and get the heck out of our house.

Can't even begin to imagine what she'd do if we had a child together.  

Cooooookies's picture

LOL yep!  She sent DH a text joking how we could be sister wives!

She was losing her warped mind because I had, unknowingly!, chosen our date to be married and it was the day before her birthday.  Jealous doesn't even begin to describe how she's been since she realized that I was here to stay.  DH and I were a long distance relationship for 18 months.  BM2 was convinced I was just some American internet bimbo and we'd never last.

Well here I still am... and it completely p1ss3s her off!!  She lost her puppet/abuse toy/back up plan and it's allllllll my fault.  Of course.  Smile

I love dogs's picture

Thankfully for us, BM made SD feel excluded with her new kid by getting knocked up by some random almost 5 years ago. SD was demoted to the smaller bedroom because the kid needed her bigger room because it was across from the master room at BM's.

I am 7 weeks and hope that SD will bond with baby next year. My aunt and cousin who know we're expecting have asked SD "hypothetical" future baby questions and SD said she thinks I'll be a good mom and that she would love to bond with our baby so that made my heart happy. She told my aunt that she knows we've been talking about having a baby.

I think BM will mind her own business. We have been doing 50/50 so I hope that can stay the same for DH's sake.

simifan's picture

#3 here, too. Told Skid they weren't siblings or even related, baby was only related to my side of the family.

Congrats!!!!

Peridwen's picture

#3 - Told both kids that the new baby was going to replace them, left screaming rants on DH's voicemail, told the kids not to get used to me or their new sib because "Daddy's just going to abandon them like he did us" and so on.

When SD asked me whether I was worried about Daddy abandoning me because he left her and mommy, I nearly bit through my tongue so I didn't blurt out "Your effing she-dog of a mother abused your dad and tried to take you away and prevent you from ever seeing him again. How the eff is divorcing her and getting legal shared custody abandoning you?"