Ideas!?
I need my skids to call me something different. SO and i are not married, and i dont want to be called mom. To share a name with their shitty parent makes me feel icky inside lol. I want something to differentiate me as a family member to them to others mainly because i work at a daycare and honestly hearing my name over and over in a high tiny voice is wearing it out. Also im not a great fan of small persons calling me by the name adults address me by. Old fashioned i guess. My ss3 attends daycare with me and our lack of title for me confuses him and the others to our relationship and roles. He lives with and exists wih me near constantly. Same for the girls school or activities, they dont know what to call me made harder by how frequently im around and the fact no one has ever seen their mom.
So! Something respectful, denotes some sort of parental or familial tie and doesnt include my last name which is like 17 letters long and even i can barely pronounce lol!
Sd9 found a good name for my mom - nan - which is like nana and explains a sort of grandmotherly thing to others looking in, it fits her and is quirky and eccentric to her person. Id like the same! I was gunna ask skids for their input but wanted to bring some suggestions to the table as well. SO likes the idea but has no input. Not particularly creative. Also i dont know how to implement or make it stick. I dont want to feel like im forcing them despite the fact i think theyll be receptive to the idea.theyve called me Cinna for the last 3 years. How does one change that? Or am i doomed to growing to hate my name? Lol
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oh and auntie ___ is not in
oh and auntie ___ is not in the cards. Ive had some not so great experiences with aunts and that sticks in my mind whenever i hear aunt whatever
SO is custodial parent with
SO is custodial parent with their visitation being four days a month. SO works eleven hour shifts at night, im home with skids pretty much constantly. Im sick of hearing my name. Simple as that. Makes me feel out of touch with who i am as an adult and real person since all i hear it used is in whiny sentences by five year olds.
Mom is not a genetic title it
Mom is not a genetic title it is earned. If he is calling you mom then you have earned it in his mind.
I have been "Dad(dy)" to my SS-19 since he was 1yo. His SpermIdiot he called "Daddy (Firstname) until he transitined to calling him "Dad" as he got older.
When my son is at home with his mom and I he refers to DickHead by his first name and when he is visiting SpermLand he refers to me by my first name.
We do not require this, the kid came up with it on his own. He is respectful to us in our home and calls me "Dad" when he is in his real world and he calls the other guy dad when he is in SpermLand.
Much to the ire of SpermGrandMa who rankles at the very thought of SS considering me to be his Dad or my parents to be grandparents and my brother and his family as Uncle, Aunt and cousins.
So, I would recommend that you not take such exception to the kid calling you Mom. You do not share that title with the BM. It is unique to you because the title has a unique meanign to the kid.
This is why I do not take exception to my son (SS-19) calling his SpermIdiot "Dad" though the dipshit is far from a father.
Just my thoughts and experience of course.
Would you be opposed to a
Would you be opposed to a variation on "mom" like "ma" or "mummer" or something like that? I call my mother all of these things.
Otherwise the only thing I can think of is coming up with a nickname with them. Make it a game for them to choose a bunch of names that suit you or your hobbies or whatever... when they hit on one you don't mind, pretend you just LOVE it, and say it would make you so happy if they called you that, as your very special name. This would make it less awkward and you wouldn't have to outright ASK them to call you something other than mom. Just be prepared for them to come up with dumb things like "lala" or "puddin" or whatever. Heh.
Or initials? I think it would be cute if my skids called me by my initials.
I was less than 40 when I
I was less than 40 when I became a gma. I had a meltdown every time I thought of anyone calling me that. So,now I am Mim. It is unique and it differentiates between their mother and me and still is familial.
Any name is a good name, and
Any name is a good name, and as long as the kids like you WHO CARES.. That is most important thing - as long as you like them and they like you it doesn't matter.. especailly if they like you because then they wlll call you somethint that you like (as long as you let them know if you like it or not).. If you get called your first name and not "dragon" or "lady we hate" or something like that you should be happy.. It's not the children that come up with that, it's the BF..
What about mom or aunt in
What about mom or aunt in another language, me niece and nephew call me tante/tantine(aunt/auntie in french) and this is the route I'd go if I didn't want SO's kids using my name. Were still fresh in my relationship with them so calling me by my name works but I think if they started calling me mom or other mom or bonus mom I'd have to suggest an alternative. Simply because they have a mom (as worthless as I think she is she's still mom) I'd rather have my own title.
My Steps view me as "MOM"
My Steps view me as "MOM" because I have shown them that I am fully capable of being a "MOM". But because if the BM making such a huge deal out of a reference to me (She is the jealous type and feels as though by them calling me mom, I am replacing her.... Long Story) The children are caught in the middle of the battle field because of her. I have told these children from day 1. I am not mom. I could never replace your mom (no natter how wrong she really is) I have told them on numerous occasions, it is up to them as to what they call me, as long as it is with respect to the role I have in this crazy situation...
I have a very long first name. I have a few really good friends that has resorted to using the 1st letter or the 1st 4 letters of my name to show me respect. Maybe, instead of using you entire name you could do the same...
What about "Mox" or "Moxie"?
What about "Mox" or "Moxie"? That's what my step-brothers used when we were growing up. It's comfortable because it's like 'mom' but not, and then your little one won't get too confused by hearing your name since "Mox" or "Moxie" kind of sounds like 'mom'. And it's kind of cute and fun, I think.
Excellent! I like Mox! I am a
Excellent! I like Mox! I am a mom in my house. Plain and simple. I spend more time as their mother/parent than either their father or their mother at this point HOWEVER. BM would take it out on them if they EVER called me mom. They are barely allowed to utter my or their father's name while they are at her house. She starts crying and asking them why they are so mean to her. I REFUSE to make my skids choose between something as stupid as wanting a new name and being emotionally damaged by their mother for calling me what I am. Their mom feels the same - I would be replacing her blah blah blah