Im tired of the dynamic
Lately i've found myself tired of my own behavior. Skids annoy me, i feel no enjoyment or fun with them - just work. It feels like constant work. I dont know how to balance it. Its like constant discipline, correction, things to do. I guess if im not having fun they probably aren't either. I dont want to be "the wicked stepmom" where we never have a good time. I just feel constant stress and pressure to make sure theyre raised right, the home is right, evrything is cared for. Im tired. Tired of trying so hard, tired of wondering whether they'll grow up to hate me or love me. I had such a wonderful stedad. He was in my mind my daddy. I want to be thought of positively, in the same light. My biodad wasnt in the picture ever really so i get that the dynamic is different, and i will never be mom to them. I just want to be the one they remember who raised them, taught them and did right by them in making them competant successful people. Maybe thats not my job idk, but this was my experience and i want to give that back to them. I dont know WHAT im doing i guess. I need to change something because im tired of all of it
- misscinna's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I feel the same way and I
I feel the same way and I really don't see any end in sight. I try to do fun stuff with the kids so that I'm not always the "bad guy". And I know I'm not really the bad guy, that when they're grown, any good qualities, morals, etc. will have come from DH and I. But how do you get past feeling like a big meanie all the time?
It sounds like you need a
It sounds like you need a break! Maybe if you take a night to yourself once a week and go hang out with girlfriends or do something for yourself you might feel refreshed. Hell, hit your DH up for a well deserved spa day. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up for feeling used up by your skids. It's normal. Plus, I think stepdads get a better gig than stepmoms.
i think maybe you're right
i think maybe you're right flags.
This is so right but so hard.
This is so right but so hard. Im a custodial and fdh works long hours. I am now their primary caregiver. I feel like I can never leave. Like i'm trapped. It's alllll centers around fdhs work schedule. you are right. My expectations are too high. I have no kids of my own, and this HAS defined me. I stay at home and work at ss3s daycare. If I check out fdh has to lean on bm which is hit or miss. Also the more time she spends with them, the more the PAS. The less involved she is the better adjusted they seem to be. It's like night and day. Idk what to do