So she brought them back. FDH made sure the situation was handled ahead of time. I took him to the airport. She was 15 mins late (whatever i wont mince 15 mins) Ironically he had already landed prior to them coming home. We video chatted tonight. He already wants to come home lol! I guess I should feel proud that I've made an inviting enough home for him to want to be here so much haha. I am however looking forward to a nice change of pace and some meeee time. Even with them here, they gotta go to school some time right!?

She whined to sd15 that it was unfair that they stay home with me all week because I "am not even their MOTHER!" and I "have no legal rights to them because they aren't even MARRIED!" Newsflash - according to the court paperwork you ARE their mother and you have no legal rights to them either because you aren't even married to him either! *insert stepmother cackle here*

sd15 passed along my message to BM in response to her attempted assertion of power. "I am not their mother, I have no plans of replacing her, and if she has anything else to say she can feel free to bring it up to me"

According to sd15 she just shut up after that. FDH is the head of our household but I run this shit. I have a very opinionated dominant personality and BM does not. During their marriage FDH walked all over her and she just shut up and took it like a good wife does. FDH says he likes that I keep him on his toes and in line. And I do too. I'll let him get only so far before we have a reality check. So I cant figure out why BM feels like she wants to play the power struggle game. It goes like this. She shoots something out there. I address it. She goes back to her cave to sulk. She lets her 5 year old boss her around. How can you have respect for someone like that?

Here's something that has baffled me forever. I get that you (bm's everywhere) are hurt,jealous,angry,insecure, whatever else. What I cant figure out is why they turn these things into a self destructive game? Why wouldnt you befriend said step parent? Here is my reasoning:

#1 Some step parents kill or harm their skids.
- I dont approve obviously, and I cant say why, whether mental issues or being driven into an uncontrollable rage or what. However why the hell would you want to piss off, exhaust, and upset the one person who is a PERMANENT caregiver for your children??? You can fire a babysitter. You cant fire your ex husbands WIFE! Dont you consider that MAYBE just MAYBE your actions will force a weaker woman to do something awful to your child out of spite?! I am NOT condoning this behavior. I am simply saying if I was a biomom I would be hellbent on stuffing my feelings deep down and not giving this person with access to my child annnnyyy other reasons to take negative feelings out on him/her.

#2 Get your way
- Many of the BMs i know of are selfish and put their own feelings ahead of their kids. If this is the case why wouldnt you play nice with the one person who has some pull with your ex? You dont even have to LIKE her. Just act civil/friendly like. Be NICE or CONSIDERATE to her. Say hello. Then when you have a meltdown or things arent going your way you have someone who can try and coax some compassion out of your ex that you otherwise cant. Heck if our BM quit being such a dingleberry to me and started acting nicer i know I could negotiate some extra time for her with FDH. If I could simply DISCUSS our issues with what happens there KINDLY and have her communicate back civily about it she would see her children a heck of a lot more. Does she really think I like raising them more than her?

#3 Cant you see that your child is MISERABLE??
- I STILL cant figure out how it is that many BMs cannot see that their games, their fights, their dragging things on and on cant see that their child is MISERABLE. Women are supposed to know their kids better than anyone else. I dont get how they are incapable of seeing that what they are doing is hurting their children. So many women are out there just hoping for a daddy for their child. Why are so many of these custodial BMs (I have to put that in there cuz we are Custodial dad/stepmom) trying SO hard to make sure their child DOES NOT have a father?

Its all very upsetting. :O