I think I have a mini-wife on my hands....help!
I haven't written in a while because things have been somewhat chill and we haven't seen SD14 much and when we do I just keep my distance. I don't talk to her and I will just clean or do laundry or something to avoid her.
I knew it was too good to be true. I had pretty much every problem that everyone else on here had, plus some more, EXCEPT SD14 wasn't a mini-wife.
Well it seems like that's changing now and I am losing my mind.
Last week the 3 of us were out and getting ready to go home and SO asked what I wanted to do for dinner that night. SD pipes up and says lets go out for dinner. I said no, its too expensive. (SO had just taken me out for our monthly dinner date the night before which we save up for all month). I said I will just make something at home. So SD responds with "well me and dad will just go out the 2 of us then". oohhhh no you just didn't! I lost it and so did SO. I told her she was rude and disrespectful and we are leaving NOW, and I walked away.
Same day later that night after dinner.... "Daaadddd, can just you an I go for a walk?".
Every time we have a conversation she is sitting there. 2 feet away from us, constantly interrupting about something that has nothing to do with what were talking about.
I didn't think these things were a huge deal until she was just getting worse and worse. All in the same day. It was like she was just trying to piss me off.
SO constantly rubs my feet. Any time we are just sitting around at home my feet are in his lap and hes rubbing. Well we were sitting out back and he was doing his job and SD pulls her chair like a foot from him and puts her feet up and "daaddddd, rub my feet. there really sore." And she gives me these looks when he's not looking, like "HA, I win!".
It absolutely infuriates me!!
Other then just screaming "listen bitch, I'm the wife here, NOT you!" im really not sure what to do!!!
I think this is starting because she used to be able to get between BM and her boyfriend but they figured out what she was doing and don't allow it anymore. So I think now she's trying to get between us. She constantly wants to come over and is calling him like 3 nights a week to see if she can come over and I honestly think its just because shes bored and wants to cause some drama. I mean it's nothing special at our house. Its not like we do all sorts of fun things. We sit around in the backyard or watch tv most nights. we are homebodies.
What do I do to put a stop to this because I'm afraid im just going to blow up at her one day and it wont be pretty.
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Comments
Your husband needs to be the
Your husband needs to be the one to put the stop to it.
how barf inducing. sick sick
how barf inducing.
sick sick sick this is the eleactra complex run amok. i had a situation where adult sd was giving dh a hair trim and this turned into a manscaping session.
the worst thing in the world
the worst thing in the world i recall was visitation time with dh walking arm in arm with two minis while i walked behind them. believe me i just wanted to drive home then and there and leave them to there little threesome.
Oh yes, oh yes, you have a
Oh yes, oh yes, you have a mini wife. I am so sorry you are going through this. I have the same exact shit. The only person who can put a stop would be your SO. He has to be the one to put his foot down for sure. I wish you the best of wishes and stay strong
I would so call her out every
I would so call her out every single time... "SD, this is not your bed. Get off it now!" DH complains... tell him it is not appropriate for a man to spoon with his teen daughter. It is called incest. When she grooms him "Honey, why do you allow your daughter to groom you like a cat? It looks weird. SD, get off your father. It looks like you want to hump him."
"DH, if you allow your daughter to play this game she will end up in tears. I will not allow this incestuous behaviour anymore. Id she does it again I will yell at her and ask her why she feels she has to behave like she wants to have sex with you. I will say it in the mall or in our home."
And as SweetPea says pepper him with questions... "So when she flashes her breasts at you it makes you hard?" "So when she pulls her pants up and you can see her butt cheeks that means very other adult males on the beach does as well. So you like your daughter being some pervs fantasies when he is jacking off under his towel?"
She has no sense of decency.
Sometimes it's really hard
Sometimes it's really hard for a father to see Mini-Wife Syndrome in his daughter. He just tends think it's "normal" behavior because that's all he's known. Getting him to recognize it is very difficult and you've taken a huge step toward solving the problem if you can get him to accept it. Talk to him about Guilty-Dad syndrome and how bad it is for kids.
BUT there is a lot that you can do on your own. You can draw some lines in the sand... say THESE ARE THE THINGS I WILL NOT TOLERATE...
My husband now sits beside me at restaurants. He walks with ME through the store. I do NOT share a pet name with SD12.
You can call her on her behavior in front of him (and should be doing this).
Probably the biggest thing you can do is make sure she knows who is QUEEN in your home. Make sure she knows she cannot compete with you.
My misadventures with the mini-wife in our home is chronicled on my blog, A Little Stepmama Drama Do a Google search if you're interested. I wish you the best.
Hi! My name is Tammy. I am
Hi! My name is Tammy. I am new here. I really need to vent! I am a step mother to two boys. Mom is out of the pic and has been for over 2 1/2 yrs. I need some advice. :?