Parental Controls - Surprised but not surprised
No one except SD15 has access to her phone. It has a screen lock and she sounded like a demented injured animal howling for almost an hour the one time I seen her dad take it away from her. It was honestly the most disturbing tantrum I had ever seen.
I don't believe a child or teenager can be trusted online without parental supervision. I'm not saying they don't have a right to privacy either because they do - within limits. I know she has received nude pictures of other boys on her phone because I overheard her and her friend's talking about it once, her friend's mom overheard the girls talking together once and heard SD mention receiving nude pics of boys, SD asked me about the laws once because she said a friend of hers had sent a nude pic of herself and it leaked to others, and I can't imagine an unspervised teenager not going crazy with their hormones online when no one is there to stop it.
So I looked up online acronyms used by teenagers that parents should consider as being dangerous. I saved some of them into the parental controls of our wifi. A few minutes ago I ran a report for the last week. The two that stuck out were ASLP tried 5 times and GNOC with 10 tries.
ASLP - Age Sex Location Photo
GNOC - Get Naked On Camera
I ask myself why I care. Why does this matter to me when my parenting is obviously not wanted by anyone unless it benefits them? Aren't I just wasting my time and energy? She's not my child. Why should I care how she turns out or what dangerous situations she walks herself into?
I care because I've watched her grow up since she little and when she lives with us I've been the one supervising her while dad is at work 40 hours a week. When she is with me I can't help but work on her character if the moment demands it. ANY child left in my care I will supervise which means if they lie I will tell them to tell the truth, if they act violent I will stop them, if they hurt someone I will make them apologize, if they are thirsty I will get them something to drink, if they are hungry I will give them a snack or make them something to eat, I will bandage them if they scape their knee, and tell them not to answer the door if a stranger knocks, I will listen to their fears, and be happy with them when they make an achievement, etc. I treat my skids no different than any other child under my supervision. I should receive the same respect that is at least given to a babysitter or child care provider. Parents expect their child to listen and behave for these people. Why are children not expected to to adhere to the same standard of behavior when it comes to a stepparent? Instead I'm reduced to be treated like a naughty jealous child myself that just wants to cause trouble for everyone and then DH wonders why I'm not interested at night.
Anyway, (I kind of got on a rant a second ago, sorry.) The other reason I care is because I want a healthy family. The behavior of each family member impacts and can influence the well being of the rest of the family.
I have to take her to school registration now. (Sigh)
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Comments
DH took away SD's phone and
DH took away SD's phone and she jumped him and broke his shoulder. Over a phone. If that bill is paid by your house I would cancel her phone. Legal fees are put on the parents when teens do stupid stuff . Does DH have a legal fee bank account set up for her unknown activity??
"Jumped him and broke his
"Jumped him and broke his shoulder".
W.T.F. Seriously, how old/big is this "child"?
And, that kid would NEVER have a phone in my home again. NEVER.
I have read a few news articles about the affects of cell phones, tablets, computers on kids brains ans problems with addiction. There are kids that actually have to have treatment/therapy due to the addiction. (Sounds like your sd is a good candidate for such treatment.)
IMHO time on devices should be limitted; not just used for punishment.
Bank account?
This might be a dumb question but is there such a thing as separate bank account for phone?
Your internet?
If the kid is sending or receiving underage nude pics via your wifi, you can be held accountable. Protect yourself.
She can be charged with
possession of child pornography, even if the pictures she is receiving or sending are of herself.
Very right
I've told her this before and she even asked me about the laws not too long ago.
That is correct
If nude pictures of underage kids is being received by your WI FI. You can be in major trouble. Like needing a lawer for thousands of dollars trouble.
Good point
DH isn't taking it seriously. He thinks the report from Xfinity my service provider has too much room for error. Maybe if I mention how costly this could be it will get his attention.
Bad stuff is going on on that
Bad stuff is going on on that phone - almost certainly. Your DH is being remiss by not keeping an eye on it. If he is paying for it, there is no way he shouldn't have access. It doesn't mean you should be checking it ALL.THE.TIME (unless you have need to and maybe now you do) but that it could be checked at ANY TIME - or no phone.
What is so hard about your DH
What is so hard about your DH insisiting you know the passcode for her phone? I feel like she absolutely should know that her phone will be checked occasionally. Almost every time we check SS12's phone, we find something a little off. Like a google search that is not age-appropriate, he created an email address called [email protected]. Things like that. Nothing too crazy, but we let him know we will check his phone and if he is doing stuff like that he will lose it. Your SD is a teen, obviously doing things she shouldn't! Why wouldn't your DH want to check? She could really get herself into trouble, and he would never forgive himself.
Maybe tell him this- my Best friend has a daughter who they allowed to have snapchat when she was 11. One day a Detective showed up at their door and told them that her daughter and her daughter's friend had been snapchatting with a guy posing as a teen from another school, and the daughter's friend had sent a topless pic to the guy. Turns out the guy was like 45, posing as a teen. This stuff is out there, it's real, and teens are naive and not aware of the situations they are putting themselves in. Your DH needs to step up and PARENT this girl!
Yep - my sister and her
Yep - my sister and her husband have very strict rules for my niece and her electronics use. To this day, they take her phone at night. I saw her get into some trouble with them this year, they took her phone for 3 days as a result. No screaming, no crying. She know what the consequence was and if my sister had not told me about it I'd never had known there was an issue! Because she's not additcted. They also monitor her use regularly and have her passwords.
DH never once tried to regulate SD14s online use. Not once. I'm sure she's an online bully and is on sites she shouldn't be. DH to this day says she wouldn't do that. ROFLMAO!
They think the same
Getting good grades and being involved in sports doesn't mean a kid can't get in trouble online or anywhere else. If she's ever questioned she starts freaking out saying - why can't you trust me? DH assures her he trusts her. I tried to approach BM one time about my concerns about SD telling lies anout being alone with boys at their house with no parents home. She went off on me saying what a great kid SD is and BM doesn't understand why I dont trust her.
It has nothing to to with
It has nothing to to with trust it's about parenting and that involves helping them avoid the pitfalls in life. It isn't innate, it's learned.