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Great mother's day, now slightly tainted

MrsZipper's picture

DH and I have been using a banking app since our credit card number was stolen last month, and it tells you what purchases are made from all of your cards. 2 weeks ago I saw a $146 charge from a florist - mother's day was coming up, I figured those were my flowers, although I wondered what kind of gorgeous flowers I was getting for that much money since we usually get flowers from the stand near our home.

Sunday rolls around and I got breakfast in bed, a bouquet of tulips, a massage gift card and beautiful cards and crafts from DDs. We had a really great day together and went out to dinner and got these big greasy burgers I love. It was delicious and we went home and ate cupcakes the girls had baked and decorated. Great day.

On Monday I remembered the expensive flowers and thought maybe they were coming to work, but they didn't. I asked DH what the charge was for and he said those were flowers for YSD because it's her first mother's day (she's pregnant, due in September).

From our banking app I know what DH spent on my flowers and the massage certificate. $96. I shouldn't care, I had a great mother's day. It is such a stupid thing to compare and I feel so petty for even thinking it. But it did taint my day a little knowing that he spent more getting YSD a mother's day present than he did on me.

Comments

MrsZipper's picture

I went on her Instagram to see and she got 4 BOUQUETS of flowers, and presents. I did not get gifts for mother's day from anyone until I actually had a baby.

Ninji's picture

I can't even imagine. I'd be soooo mad. $146 on flowers. Heck no. I don't even want that much spent on flowers for me. DH would be in the dog house for a long long time.

hereiam's picture

My DH told his daughter Happy Mother's Day, because she is a mother, but he did not get her a gift, did not even see her, just talked to her on the phone, and not even on Sunday.

I really don't get these guys who seem to be more in love with their daughters than their wives. Ew.

MrsZipper's picture

I doubt he would notice or care if I bought a $250 dress or whatever. We normally don't track each other's spending, we only check with each other on the big ticket items.

MrsZipper's picture

I'm checking now every week because I want to know if our cards are compromised again.

ETA no where in this post did I write that I forbade him from spending the money or even complained about it to him.

pinkb's picture

Totally... it depends on how the couple agrees to handle money. My DH and I started out handling money together, then he took over on a break from work when I was traveling. He hated it. I don't LOVE it but I don't mind... only to find out "we" were in a boatload of debt. So, unless we're paid out from under that, I will be checking every purchase every day.

robin333's picture

And that would be the day he'd find the locks changed and all joint accounts closed.

Acratopotes's picture

I think it depends on in what country you live....

If I should change the locks and SO can't get into the house.... there's nothing he can do about it over here..

UK I know you are not allowed to lock out your spouse of the house, regardless if the house is joint property or not...

robin333's picture

My point is that the marriage would be over if DH treated me like a child or anything less than his equal partner.

Of course, laws vary by state. I'm not aware of Mrs. Zipper's state or her financial circumstances. That wasn't my point. If I couldn't change the locks, SH would come home to an house empty of other humans.

WalkOnBy's picture

Sigh - just like mothering itself, the damn day is totally taken over by everyone else!!

MrsZipper's picture

Yes, 2 tween daughters. I think it's a little strange because she doesn't have a baby yet. But BM and her husband and probably SSILs parents and several others all thought to send her flowers and presents.

IslandGal's picture

Utter crap and bulshit. If thats what he wanted, then he should divorce and grovel back to his ex.

sunshinex's picture

It's definitely strange. My mom buys me gifts for every occasion because she's ridiculous like that... she bought me a bottle of perfume when i got engaged and called ti an "engagement present"... my husband laughed at that because, hello, an engagement present goes to the couple! She just wanted to buy me something lol. But she didn't buy me anything for mother's day... i'm not her mother. She said happy mother's day to me, but that was about it. I bought her gifts, of course.

IslandGal's picture

Oh good grief! Way to go setting a stupid precedent for an entitled child. Just ridiculous! I'd be flamin LIVID if my SO did that. He just showed that his princess means more to him than his own wife. Unbelievable. Maybe on Fathers day you could buy him a stupid ugly tie..or a corkscrew to shove up his inconsiderate ultra dumbass. Then spend 150.00 on your kids. Men like that seriously make me wanna strangle them into sensibility.

CLove's picture

Mothers day seems complicated to me. I believe that the mother is a mother after giving birth. I also think that the children and spouses/baby daddys should do all the momma-pampering on this day, or give the mother some space to do what SHE wants.

And also, for me - if my SO spent $146 on flowers for one person and then about $96 on flowers for me, its not the amount that would p!ss me off, but the fact that he did not buy a living plant that I could grow and nurture, but basically threw money down the toilet on something that was going to die in a few days. Buy me a plum tree, a fig tree, a rosebush, some lavender, for goodness sake. Buy me some boxing gloves Biggrin