I'm in a financial support office today, rehashing my bills because even with DH getting a better job, things will still be tight paying for SS's daycare and the airfare to get him here and back.

It occurs to me that one of the reasons I occasionally get into a preoccupation spiral with BM is that is that so much more of my life revolves around her than the other way around.

Our child support payment is more than her house payment. I do not begrudge her her child support, but that's the reality of it. And while I also understand that she can do whatever the hell she wants with him when he's there, since she's the mom and it's her house. Our money is basically paying for the shit she feeds him. The soda before bed. The candy stash. All of that. Coming out of our pay.

Every time I manage to save any money at all lately it ends up going to airfare so we can get him here, and usually back too, because she's terrible with money. Someday we might be able to use that in court, but not before it costs me a few more thousand dollars.

And she's doing her best to replace SS with her new husband, or new "Daddy." A man who for some reason is totally cool with a kid he's known for three months calling him Daddy.

DH gets his time on the phone, but she makes no effort to keep SS from playing video games or watching movies during his time. It's rude but there's nothing we can really do about it. She can continue to easily victimize herself and talk about what a deadbeat DH is, despite the fact that we filed for her to get CS, and deliberately hold SS to no standards for time with DH because she's the CP.

And because she's the one getting the money, and she only has to part with SS for maybe 3 months out of the year, she can comfortably ignore us whenever it suits her.

Must be nice.