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Cleared up things with the bank and Filed charges against STBXH

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:14am

I called over the phone and the guy that answered was very rude and tried to place the blame on me. So I went up to the bank this morning and confirmed the date that STBXH and I walked in together and took his name of off the account and that after that he was still able to make transitions and withdrawals. The lady there was very sympatric to my story and helped me and my funds should be back in my account within the next two weeks (sigh of f*ckin relief). I went to the police department and filed theft charges against STBXH and even the officer that took my report said that what he did was awful and that it’s not uncommon for someone to try to drain an account during a divorce he said he's seen things get nasty from people filing false abuse reports, draining accounts, And there was even a woman who bleached all of her EX's clothes and put all of his electronics in the bathtub.

I'm just glad I got this all straightened out. I texted STBXH to tell him I filed charges for theft and his text back was " F*ck you, go suck a wrinkly d*ck you dumb slut". Yeah childish. I look back at all my blogs and all I've been through with and for him and it’s like in a flash my life has changed. It’s time to stop living for him and his kids and live for me. Yes sometimes a song will play on the radio and I will cry or I will just hold baby and start crying realizing I'm alone. But I just want to move forward and one day not shed a single tear and look back on these times and see how far I've come.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:24am

"But I just want to move forward and one day not shed a single tear and looks back on t these times and see how far I've come."

This is one of the reasons I can never bring myself to regret the years I spent with my exH. The years I spent struggling & overcoming the mental abuse made me stronger than I've ever been. In my 4 years with him, I was broken to my lowest low & by the time I left I was reaching a high I'd never reached before then.

Getting away from a man who treats you that way is a huge step toward big opportunities for you & your baby.

He thought he was big enough to break you. He thought you were weak enough to crumble, & you're proving him wrong. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:31am

What a douchetard.

I remember getting pissed at my bank when ExH and I split, because that was one of my first orders of go was to remove him from our joint checking account. My bank won't let you do that, you have to close that account and open a new one. So I had to open a new account and transfer my money out of the old one and into the new one then of course buy new checks, set up all my auto pay stuff with the new account.. it was such a freaking pain! But I guess worth it not to have to deal with what you did. Maybe why my bank has that policy?

anyway, glad it worked out for you. I'd be sure to send him a text while he is sitting in jail for his reading pleasure when he gets out... "Did you enjoy sucking wrinkly dick while you were in the slammer?" }:)

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:33am

DaizyDuke your my new girl crush. I just spilled coffee on myself lol. I am so texting him that. His dumbass self.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:34am

Glad they are fixing it all. Good for you. You're going to be GREAT! Just keep taking it day by day - CLEARLY you did the right thing by leaving this dumbass.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 8:43am

Keep that text and look back on it if you ever for a second doubt your choice. (((Hugs))

StepMomTaxi's picture

Submitted by StepMomTaxi on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:03am

As a police officer, here is my advice:
In the future, should anything like this happen again or something else where you are wanting to press charges against him, I would highly suggest that you do NOT give your STBX a heads up about it.

Now he knows something is up and he has time to conjure up a story, try to cover his tracks, or try to make agreements with friends about providing an alibi in regards to the fraudulent activity and when it occurred.

He most likely now will not go into the PD when the officer calls him and asks him to stop by "just to talk", where he would thereafter be arrested normally if there was enough proof to press charges against him as being the offender. When that happens, where the offender does not come, the officer then has to try to obtain an arrest warrant and then it may be a while before he is found or picked up on that warrant.

Should there be any incidents afterwards, and hopefully there will not be, go file the report immediately. After deciding if you are going to press charges and all, just sit back without giving him a heads up and wait until he is arrested.

Also on a side note, this being a financial crime, the investigation of it may take a little while because of the amount of paperwork needed and the time consuming process of obtaining receipts and documentation from the bank.

To cover your butt, I would gather any and all documentation you have showing what date his name was removed the the account, showing that it was solely YOUR money being deposited into that account after his name was removed and he was no longer financially contributing to the bank account. This will just help prove that the money contained in the account should solely be use and he has no stake to claim in regards to the account bc he was not contributing any money to it.

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:05am

Thanks.

new to this's picture

Submitted by new to this on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:03am

You are doing the right thing for you and your baby, always remember there ARE worse things than being alone. Being alone is not that bad.

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 9:39am

I hear u on the text...but let it got. The BEST REVENGE is "KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS". In you case, this means do not give him the time of day. You have you and your baby to think off. I hope he has a job...CS should be the first thing he hears from you from your lawyer.
TAKE CARE.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 10:41am

phuck him. he's not worth crying over...

many many hugs to you. i'm glad the bank's fixing things, and taxi's advice was spot on.

i knew my em./verb. abusive marriage was over at the point that i stopped giving a rat's ass, and it was SO damn freeing... u'll have your down times of course, but it really does help how you talk to yourself. dont' think "oh my god i'm all alone" (with an ensuing pity party). tell yourself "i'm all alone- woot woot!!" (with an ensuing happy dance that u are nowhere near that asshole!)

you said "I just want to move forward and one day not shed a single tear and look back on these times and see how far I've come." YOU WILL. THAT DAY WILL COME.