How do you correctly answer this question?
Oh he is so cute how many do you have? Now you have your mil and you DH is standing close by should you:
A) Say two, because you actually gave girth to only two
Say four because you are including SS's .....I really don't mind saying 4 sometime, but Im only 32 I dont want people to see me as a hot pants because my oldest ss is 8 ...well 24 is not a bad age to have kids, I just dont want to look like a baby machine! I have done a lot in life besides have (4 babies)
Now if we are at a family event (his family) most of the time they will ask ooh how is it with four boys, I just smile and say something short and sweet because they know that two are not mine. Like the other lady said they are so bad!!! you dont want to say they are yours.....since we have been married and hubby moved in with me because i have a house the ss's have started playing with neighborhood kids....they have already started running in and out of peoples home without thier permission!!! SO EMBARASSING ..... to the point where the oldest would run home and tell us that the youngest ss was just told to go back outside by the neighbors older children or relatives .....I JUST WANT TO YELL OUT THEY ARE NOT MY CHILDREN
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Whether I am with DH or not,
Whether I am with DH or not, if I'm asked how many kids I/we have, my reply is, "I don't have any of my own, but DH has 2".
DH knows how I feel about his kids. He knows I love them, but typically when someone asks that question they're asking for facts rather than sentiments.
DH doesn't take offense & it keeps us from having to beat around the bush to come to the answer they're looking for.
I ditto storm, I do the same
I ditto storm, I do the same thing.
"We have 4" No other comment
"We have 4"
No other comment is necessary. "We" indicates that you both have kids. If the people asking assume that they are all joint kids so be it.
My wife struggles with the age thing as you indicate that you do. She had SS-18 when she was 16. She regularly gets comments that she does nto look old enough to have an 18yo. She answers "Thank you" when someone makes that comment. When she was younger she once aswered an older lady who made that comment with "Unfortunately I am too young to have a child this age". The lady smiles and said "you could just have said thank you". Ever since my wife has just said "thank you".
I the Skids are ill behaved animals you put one arm around each of yours and say "We have four, we are a blended family" or "We have four, two are mine."
I always just answer "we have one".
No mention of Step.
Best regards,
ANY TIME someone asks how
ANY TIME someone asks how many kids dh and i have i say "between the two of us, 4, 1 which is mine"
We were out at dinner with SS
We were out at dinner with SS who is 22 and my DS who is 3 and DD who was a few months old at the time. The waitress was a tad freaked out I think because I was taking care of DD and SS was helping DS out - DS adores him - and DH was just sitting back enjoying the view or whatever. She excused herself and asked me who belonged to who. I basically told her - These two are mine - DS & DD - I pointed at SS and said he belongs to him - pointing at DH and occasionally I'll claim him as well. SS laughed and said yeah only when we like each other. I think she thought DS was SS's son since the age thing but it was funny.
My mom and I used to
My mom and I used to experience a similar thing. When I was in my teens and early 20's when mom and I were out together many people assumed she and I were a couple. My parents were fairly young when they had me. Mom-19 and Dad-21.
My mom has always looked young for her age so the assumption that she and I were a couple was fairly regular. Often the blue hairs would make snarky comments to her. "Shame on you!" was a frequent comment from the elderly set in those days. I used to give mom and "big kiss on the cheek and say ... Love you MOM!". Those blue haired old ladies would wilt.
When mom and I were in a place where there were targets of opportunity (young ladies) I would make sure to say "hey mom!" just a bit louder than was necessary to make sure that the girls who were my age did not get the wrong idea. I even got a few dates out of the deal when a young lady would occasionally "wow, your mom is so pretty. It is cool that you do stuff together."
TWO!!
TWO!!
I always say "I have 4 and 2
I always say "I have 4 and 2 step". My kids are mixed and don't look anything like me but i have had people say to my skids "you look like your mom"...meaning me....and I think I answer faster then them and always say "I'm not her mother". Besides disliking them, I don't want people to think that they are the way they are because of me.
My SS and I get "you look
My SS and I get "you look like your dad" often when we are out together in public.
We just chuckle and one or the other of us say "thanks". Physically there is little similarity but in mannerisms he resembles me quite a bit.
I have raised him as my own and been the only full time dad in his life since he was 1yo.
But, when he is being a jackass and the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool burns through I do not hesitate to say "he got that from his biodad".
I always say 6. When they're
I always say 6. When they're with me, I don't buy them stepclothes. I don't stepwash their laundry. I don't stepcook their dinner. I don't stepspank their little hienies. I just mother them. 2 out of the 3 steps have no other reliable mother figure and it shows. They fall right in line with my bios. The youngest is spending over half her time with us now and her poor attitude is melting away.
i wish i loved my skids as
i wish i loved my skids as you do GBNJ, i don't, but i thought your post was very nice!!
fabs, i was wondering: how
fabs, i was wondering:
how many PITA baggage weirdos do you have?
If someone asks just me, I
If someone asks just me, I say that I have 3. If someone asks while dh and I are together, I will say-we have 4.
From day one with my skids,
From day one with my skids, if anyone made a comment about me and "my" kids, SS or SD would immediately chime in with "Paul's not my real dad, he's my step-dad." I took that as my cue to make a practice of correcting anyone who thought that they might be mine: "They're not my kids, they're my step-kids." I did at least omit "real" from the description, since that is pretty hurtful.
I look back to the first year
I look back to the first year or so I was here and I heard that all the time. I didn't really know how to refer to them at that time but they made it clear to everyone else that I wasn't their mother. So I make it clear that they aren't my kids. And they really aren't in any sense of the word. We have never bonded and frankly we just don't like each other...well we hate each other
ONE! and then acknowledge
ONE! and then acknowledge that "DH has FIVE" which inevitable results in the exclamation "What the hell was wrong with him?!! What was he thinking!!!" *massive eye-roll and shrug*
I always say, DH has a
I always say, DH has a daughter. or call her 'DH's daughter' - that explains it all IMO!!!
Well, it depended on the year
Well, it depended on the year of my marriage:
years 1-3 I said I have 4
years 3-5 I said we have 4 together
Year 5-9 I said I have two, my husband has 2 ( or I said we are a your mine and ours- he had two I had one, we have one.
years 9-12 I have two. No mention of skids (unless dh is around and I am feeling "nice" then I include the steps.... but rarely)
The skids don't say I have two mom's.
I so get the baby machine
I so get the baby machine bit! I am 30 and when I talk about a 13 yr old it seems like I started having kids when I was like 16 but in fact he is a step kid. I have 3 step kids and 3 of my own.There are 3 boys and 3 girls. I have the Brady bunch I had 3 and my husband brought me 3! My kids are great everyone loves them they get invited to friends homes. They are respectful and well behaved but we don't have friend over to our home,some family and friends have asked me not bring stepkids to family functions because of their behavior.
I say we're a brady bunch, we
I say we're a brady bunch, we have 6 between us. I'm getting close to saying "I have 3" but I'm not there yet!
BM is 10 yrs older than I am, and I look pretty good for my age (if I do say so myself, lolol) so I also get the 'you're too young to have kids that age" comment, and have been out with my son (and DH and friends) when a man asked my son if he could talk to his sister! It was obvious we were related. too fun!
If he is standing next to
If he is standing next to you, say, "WE have 4," and then depending on your audience and how close you are to them, you can explain further that 2 are your step-kids and the other 2 are your bio kids.