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O/T: end of my rope with DH (vent)

newmommy05's picture

Submitted by newmommy05 on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 9:44pm

I don't want to give up on my marriage. I love DH very much but feel like since DD has been born, and probably started slightly before that, DH and I are just not that compatible. I feel like I deserve a husband that enjoys and lives for spending time with his family. But it seems like he would much rather work. I'm sick of nagging him to spend time with us, only to be told that he'd like to but he's too busy with his work. I know that he is busy, but he makes time to spend with his buddies but DD and I are an after thought. I don't have many friends where I live, and being the primary care giver of my DD, makes it hard to get out to do things. But DH doesn't ever consider helping out with her much. I'm just blabbing now, I am at a loss for words, but just being able to get some of it out helps. I've already talked my best friend and my sister's ear off about this.

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lost in longmont's picture

Submitted by lost in longmont on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 10:08pm

I feel for you. DH is a chef and so he's never home before 10 pm really so I am the one taking care of DD, who is almost one. She gets up in the morning and he just brings her into bed trying to get her to go back to sleep. And I hate leaving for work hearing her scream. I wish he would stop trying to make her fit into his schedule and change his schedule for her, because after all she is just a baby! After her birth I thought I would have another one, but now I don't want another one with him because I do all the work. It is hard enough raising my child on my own basically, but we also have SD11 most of the time so I have to watch after her also on my own. I'm sorry and I have no advice. If you find some good advice, let me know because I'm feeling incompatible too.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 10:11pm

Do you work? Is your DH the main breadwinner?

Men can be weird. They feel a lot of responsiblity and worry about supporting their family. It can stress them out.

Maybe try talking to him...see if he's willing to open up a bit.