Sometimes I can understand why men just disappear.
When DH first got divorced he was paying CS via garnishment from his pay check.
Two summers ago, the contract job that he held for 5 years ended. We contacted the CS office and decided that direct withdrawal from our bank account would be best because DH wasn't sure where and when he was going to land.
Since then he has held 4 jobs and was laid off for almost 4 months over the summer. He was never in jeopardy of going into arrears because CS was coming directly from our bank account.
A few weeks ago he received 4 letter on the same day about CS changing. It is now being garnish from his paycheck again. BUTTTTT it is still being withdrawn from our bank account as well.
He called the CS office (had to call 7 numbers to get someone on the phone) after 1 1/2 hours on the phone, he was told that they can see that he is being charged twice, there is no way for him to get the money back, and there is nothing they can do for him. He was furious.
I called the bank and asked them to block any further payments. They said it can take up to 12 days. CS comes out weekly. We may end up paying out even more.
DH was able to get ahold of the Department of Revenue and they told him there is nothing they can do as well. They said to have our bank block the payments.
It's so frustrating.
Google says the percent of men that do not financially support their children is 40% or more. So, why is the process for those that have ALWAYS taken care of their children so ass backward. Why is it so hard. Why can't they even get a live person on the phone.
So, now when DH is laid off or between jobs, BM just won't get her money. If he has to pay longer, than it is what it is. We TRIED to set it up so that she was paid. He has NEVER been so much as $.01 behind. I don't understand why it has to be wage garnishment instead of direct withdrawal. I'm sure it has something to do with screwing him over in the long run. He is just the sperm donor after all.
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I would have a lawyer respond
I would have a lawyer respond to the "nothing we can do" claim. Either those payments are considered early and he doesn't have to pay CS in December, or he needs a refund. When the CS office overcharged my DH, BM had to pay it back.
This. DH overpaid some
This.
DH overpaid some "arrears" he had (long story short, he had already paid but it hasn't credited his account yet because of how he paid, but until CSB signed off saying it was paid, he still owed and it could take weeks for them to get it all figured out), and he ended up either with a check back from CSB or his next CS payment was reduced to make up the difference.
Point is, there should be a way to get this straightened out. Hopefully they don't say that he has paid ahead and will be able to stop CS early (a few months before kids are 18). Have the attorney straighten it out.
The double payments should
The double payments should count as a credit.
I hope so, but I am losing
I hope so, but I am losing all faith in the system.
My SO has said the same
My SO has said the same thing, he never understood how some men (and women) could just leave their kids, and have no contact with them, until he filed for divorce from his ex-wife. She has made his life such hell between her lies to their child and family friends, trying to get him fired from his job, going back on everything they agreed upon in the divorce agreement, making false police reports for burglary and sexual battery, filing Orders of Protection only to drop them days later, and lying on her financial affidavit to get more child support than she should. It is sick that there are women out there that behave this way.
Those extra payments will go
Those extra payments will go on his account, and count towards his total, but what a pain in the ass. If CS was being paid in full and on time from auto withdrawal from your bank account, there should be no reason for garnishment and I would check your state CS guidelines.
The state once tried to go through paycheck garnishment with DH, who was never, ever late (or short) and I highlighted the passage that stated when and why garnishment had to be done. Judge denied the garnishment.
We also dealt with a different state taking DH's tax return, saying BM1 had signed up for benefits. What BM1 didn't tell them, was she was receiving court ordered CS through the state she really lived in. We got the tax return back, after A LOT of back and forth, but we were ready to just move to some island, where nobody knew us or cared.
And those are just money examples. You add in all of the other bull...
After dealing with 2 BMs (thank God both SDs are grown, now), I definitely see why some men give up.
Ugh. I swear this would
Ugh. I swear this would frustrate me something awful!
I can understand why they'd just want to disappear too... Especially if BM is keeping the kids from him (which happens sadly...) I really hope that you get it figured out! And soon!
I take it that its out of the
I take it that its out of the question to just ask BM to give it back? I can't imagine keeping it (as a mother and ex-wife if he has been always on time etc). I'd be so appreciative of that, regardless of my other feelings. Speaking as the mother of 2 teenagers whose never seen a dime of support.
She would never do it. Last
She would never do it. Last summer we were paying her nearly 900 a month because the order to change custody of SS from her to us had not been signed by the judge yet. We had SS since Feb by that time. We had both kids full time over the summer. DH was laid off work and asked her for a few hundred to get food for the kids. She refused and said it wasn't her problem.
It's her money.
I get the telling them it's
I get the telling them it's their issue... TBH...
BM used to call all the time trying to inform him she needed him to give her money for gas and snacks for the girls... And that she doesn't have any money to come see the girls... When the girls still went to her occasionally he did offer to just send the girls with snacks for a little bit... But other than that, it's REALLY hard to support two households... (of course only reason Bm can't afford stuff is because she got fired for never going to work and failing drugs tests... So that's on her...)
However in your case, I REALLY hope this gets put as a credit for your Dh or something! Because that's a LOT of money!
I take it that its out of the
I take it that its out of the question to just ask BM to give it back?
Haha! You're too cute.
it will always be a
it will always be a garnishment because (at least in our state) the CS department MAKES MONEY on each transaction. DH was changed $6 per week to "process" the autowithdrawal out of his check plus a "withdrawal maintenance fee" every year. Both of those were above and beyond what he was paying in CS.
That's why our state does it
That's why our state does it this way. Even if it's not automatically taken from your check you HAVE to send it through the state. SO has to pay an extra 50 or so a year for this "service."
Interesting, in our state the
Interesting, in our state the recipient of the cs pays the fee.
This would be very
This would be very frustrating. I hope it can all get worked out in the end.
I live in Alberta and we've got what is called Maintenance Enforcement, where the money is directly withdrawn from my husband's bank account. BM signed him up for it even though he had never missed a payment or been behind.....it's just one of many things she's done because she's got too much time on her hands and she likes to stick it to my husband whenever possible.
She also signed up to have my husband's income reassessed every year so that her CS goes up. Although, it was funny when he took 4 months off to stay at home with DD4 when she was a baby so that I could go back to work early from my maternity leave. BM wasn't very happy when her CS went down significantly.