Feeling very much like a nobody today!
Feeling very much like a nobody today! Biomom bought SD a cell phone…the kind where you cannot dial a number but only the person with the code can program in a number…the phone is for emergencies (in light of all the drama we’ve had going on recently…I don’t wanna go into that b/c we are still deciding the details…but anywayz…) this evening SD is showing me this phone her mommy got her and all the numbers she programmed in for her to call in case of emergency…well of course biomoms in there and my husband and then there are various, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends but none of my numbers were in the phone…I have to admit that I was a little miffed by this! Half of those people she is to call do squat for SD on a regular basis compared to what I do for her and I’m not good enough to be an emergency call!? This just reinforces how she views me and my role in her daughter’s life and I think it is really sad b/c it is her “view” of me that is going to keep my SD from a lot of things in the future…i.e. we used to buy tickets to take the girls to children’s theater and things of that nature…well b/c I have an account with ticketmaster, they send me alerts of programs that are in our area and a code to order tickets before they go on sale to the general public (so we get first crack at the best seats) well when the schedule became a joke and there were a few instances where I wasn’t sure if we would loose our deposit (like for birthday parties) or miss an event so I said, that’s it…I’m done…I’m not gonna spend good money buying stuff in advance when we get an e-mail on Wednesday afternoon saying “I’m bringing her Saturday instead of Friday”…I guess I’ve gone off on a tangent but bottom line is that the phone thing solidified it for me…and I’m adopting the attitude that some ladies here have said works for them, they are only a “step mom” on their “visitation time” and that is it…it is just sad for the girls that they will miss out on so many things b/c of it. :O(
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I know the feeling- I pick
I know the feeling- I pick up sd, feed her, watch her, do her homework, was the first to teach her how to ride bike, etc and I am not allowed to speak to bio or sd at all, go figure
Nise...Try not to let it
Nise...
Try not to let it get you down. Maybe she's trying to avoid the wrath of her mother by not including you on the phone list. Or maybe she was told outright to not include you. You know many times these kids are just trying to walk the line down the middle between the adults....
I think she knows she can count on you....she will as she grows up for sure..
She’s 6…her mom is the one
She’s 6…her mom is the one who programmed the phone so it is not a slight from her but from her mom and quite honestly I’m feeling that SHE (bio mom) should be a heck of a lot more appreciative than she is…I know my SD would include me if she could and that does warm my heart….
Make a GREAT Day!
Nise
Hang in there! I know how you feel. Biomom has done the same kind of thing to me but stepson knows in his heart that he can count on me. He just doesn't want to make his mom mad.
How does she think a 6 year old is responsible enough to have a cell phone?
I agree with you. Biomom should be appreciative of you but she probably won't be. Just do what you know is right for your SD.
It's frustrating and aggravating, I know.
Dawn
Have her memorize your number...
I think that 6 is alittle young for a child to have a cell phone myself too, but maybe you should have her memorize your numbers. That's what we had my SS do. He didn't have a cellphone, but he knew that he had his mother's number memorized, but he also knew that I was right down the street and could come at a moments notice. So, we had him memorize our home and my cell phone. Plus, with the school, my DH automatically puts my cell phone number down as an emergency contact... not his. It's easier for me to come and get him than him. BM didn't like that, but that was the way it was. She had no control over it.
Chances are if it's an real emergency, they won't actually use the phone anyway, because they aren't programmed to know do to that. Instead, some adult helps them, and if she pipes up with your phone number, that's what they will call.
It's hard for the kids. She probably doesn't really realize what's all going on because she is only 6. I would feel the same way too, and often my SS's BM would do things that alienated me too, but I just ignored her and showed up anyway.
Fearless!!
Long time no see! How have things been with you?! I was soooo happy to see your name in the forum! It's like running into an old friend (Hey, I remember you when you were "Paranoid"!) ;o) It's good to see that you are well! Don't stay away so long next time!!
Make a GREAT Day!