Oh where to start
SD is angry with me. BM has her convinced that I said something terrible about her in the summer. It didn't happen but who cares, BM thinks it did.
There is a lot more to the story but that's the gist of it. BM doesn't want SD to like me, she never has and after 11 years she's succeded in alienating SD from me.
I'm sad but not heartbroken. SD is a good person, she is just too enmeshed with BM. She takes on all of BMs frustrations and stresses. However, SD is almost 30 and if she wants to be angry with me, not because of something I did directly to her but because of something BM says happened, then fine. They are her emotions and I can't change them.
DH has been amazing. He is on my side and backs me up. He and SD had lunch where she laid into him and told him she wanted a relationship with him and hoped that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it. He told her the only person harming their relationship was her. That he and I are together, now and for the rest of our lives. That if she didn't want me around then most of the time he wouldn't be there either. If SD wants him to choose between her and me, she was going to be hurt.
Christmas was a bit strained but not unbearable. SD got me a thoughtful gift and I got her one as well. We were polite and it was ok. As I said, SD isn't a bad person, she just has a bad influence that she listens too.
I wonder, do these kids ever see their BM for what they really are? Do they ever look around and realize that BM is the common denominator in all the bad relationships she has? All her money problems are because of her bad spending habits? Will SD just keep believing that BM gets the short end of the stick every. single. time??
BM has one or two girlfriends. Right now that is, they won't last because they never do. She makes friends but she doesn't keep them, (it's a narcissistic trait) so SD is the one she dumps all her problems on. She's not in a relationship and so she needs validation from SD. Her finances are a mess but that's because she's a woman, men make much more money for the same work. (She's in real estate?!) She doesn't get repeat clients, because other realtors steal them. Another narcissistic trait, nothing is her fault. Her overpriced, overbuilt house isn't selling. Three different realtors because none of them know how to market a house like hers. On and on it goes.
PS, SS(27) pretty much ignores it all. He talks to BM and I know he loves her but he doesn't take on her problems the way that SD does. We had a wonderful time with him and his GF over Christmas, no drama, no bs and no talk of BM.
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She might. In my case, not
She might. In my case, not only do the SDs not see BioHo for what she is, they are becoming mini versions of her. The SSs, however, loathe 'Ho and DO see that she's a POS. SS19 escaped by joining the military. PigPen is 16 and for months has been talking about moving to the southwest as soon as he graduates.
SD isn't a mini BM, she never
SD isn't a mini BM, she never could be, she's empathic and BM is narcissistic. However, she buys everything BM tells her.
Sometimes it's like she's a parrot and while it's SD voice, it's BMs words coming out of her mouth. I know, I know that happens with mothers and daughters sometime. I sound more and more like my mother every day, lol. This is different. It's not SDs venacualar or the way she thinks, it's odd and strange.
BM is having a problem with DH and I saying that WE put the all the kids through school. We did but BM feels like we are saying as a way of pointing out that she did not contribute financially, which she didn't. So, one of the things SD said to DH at their lunch was that she wants me to stop saying that we paid for her schooling. He said our finances are combined and that it was both DH and I that paid for her schooling. She replied "NSB has never earned enough to pay for our schooling, Dad. You are the income earner, not her." That is not SD, that is BM.
Oh, FFS! BM can't handle the
Oh, FFS! BM can't handle the truth.
As for the SDs, I don't understand how they can be so blind to 'Ho's BS - especially when they beeyotched about it for years - but they've gone deaf, dumb, and blind to it and are now mini BioHos. It's also weird.
I hope your SD figures it out.
I’ve decided my SS doesn’t
I’ve decided my SS doesn’t want to see it. He’d rather believe her lies than believe she’s lying to him.
Do they ever look around and
Do they ever look around and realize that BM is the common denominator in all the bad relationships she has? Will SD just keep believing that BM gets the short end of the stick every. single. time??
Sounds like my sd's BM. For the first 9 years all we heard was "Bill" (sd's stepdad) wouldn't let BM spend money on sd, wouldnt let her do things with sd, wouldnt let BM get a job. Then sd came to live with us from age 11-16 and it was still "Bill" wont let BM go visit sd, Bill wont let BM buy sd anything. BM didnt pay CS because Bill wouldnt let her get a job. Poor poor BM.
Now Bill's mom was a staunch feminist and self employed business owner, I really couldn't see her raising a chauvinist son who felt wimmins work was staying home tending the kitchen. But who knows?
Then BM found a boyfriend and left Bill. Now, it is "Dave" (new boyfriend) wont let BM spend money on sd even though sd lives with them, Dave wont fix sd's car, Dave wont let BM do this or that in regards to sd. Poor poor BM. Call your dad, she tells sd. See if he can help you. Hmm. These relationships all have one common denominator, BM. Sounds like BM needs to get a job...amiright? Maybe help support her own kid for a change.
I suppose these skids dont ever figure it out.
Sounds like she's related to
Sounds like she's related to 'Ho...