What constitutes an emergency?
DH got a call from BM. She's blocked so his phone doesn't ring, it just goes straight to voice mail. He checked his voice mail and there was BM (from the day before) saying there was a small emergency could he call her? He called, got her vm and left a message asking what the emergency was.
No call back, not that he would have known but he did check his vm frequently. He also called SD(29) to see if all was ok with her. She's fine, her brother is fine, no emergency with either of them. DH didn't come right out and ask if there was a problem, nor did he tell SD that BM had called claiming an emergency.
Now SD just broke up with her BF of 2 years. BF is being an ass, asking for gifts back, telling SD she's making a big mistake, he's the best thing she'll ever have, blah, blah, blah. DH talked to SD on the phone and went for lunch with her. She is doing fine, she's not at all upset with the breakup, in fact we both think she wasn't really in love with him. He just ticked all the boxes, tall, good looking, older, great job, loved to travel, yada, yada, yada.
Still wondering what the emergency could have been and why BM was calling DH to help???
The only thing DH could come up with is that BM is angry with SDs ex and the texts he's been sending her. DH surmises that BM wanted DH to call ex and tell him to back off. SD is almost 30 years old! This is her 3rd or 4th serious relationship! She knows how to handle an ex, she does not need her Daddy to defend her!!
Do these exwives ever let go?
Will they forever think "I must call my exhusband and ask him to handle this for me or our kids!"
I don't call my exH and ask him for help. I've had some pretty horrific things happen and it's DH I go to, it's DH that I lean on, it's DH that I want near me!
OH wait, BM only has her kids to lean on, never mind.
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HOW old are the skids??
HOW old are the skids??
IMO, unless BM gives details about the supposed "emergency", I wouldn't call her back.
BioHo calls my DH and leaves voicemails asking him to call her. Nope. No details, no return call. 19 times out of 20, it's something one of the skids is doing that BioHo simply doesn't like. Call the waaaaaaaah-mbulance.
This is sage advice Aniki!
This is sage advice Aniki! Crazy text my SO once while we were out for drinks and told him to call her, it was an emergency. She had the skids and had them sleeping on people's couches at that time, so my SO was afraid she had nowhere to take them so he did call her. This was Pre-Our Family Wizard. The "emergency", was that she wanted to get back together with him, and sent an email about being a family again, blah blah blah. As if he would just dump me and kick me out for that train wreck. Needless to say, he turned that offer down and told her it 100% was never going to happen. The emergency bit is always a trap!
Gads. 'Ho once called my DH
Gads. 'Ho once called my DH (years ago). Why? Because she wanted nookie. That was the catalyst for him to stop returning calls.
SD 29 and SS 27!We've had
SD 29 and SS 27!
We've had real family emergencies that are not ones you could leave on vm.
Does BM call about actual
Does BM call about actual emergencies? If it's a TRUE emergency, wouldn't she call back?
There have never been any
There have never been any true emergencies with her family but there have been with mine. No she's never called back.
Honestly, if we are talking
Honestly, if we are talking adult SKids.. there is either a "big" emergency.. or no reason for the other parent to contact. Adult Skids can contact their own parents if they have problems.
For minor Skids.. I also hate the vagueness of that kind of voicemail. If it's important enough to be deemed an emergency.. then you better darn well put some information down for me so that I don't freak out!
The only way I could see this
The only way I could see this situation being an emergency is if the XBF is threatening or harming SD. I do think that would be something DH should know. However, SD would need to be in immediate danger to constitute an emergency.
But a run-of-the-mill break-up? Nope. Not an emergency.
Exactly!
Exactly!
SD is just fine and if the ex is being abusive she's not feeling threatened by it. She and BM are very emeshed so BM knows every little detail and so I think the ex is saying things that BM is taking much more offense to than SD is.
I think she wants to be
I think she wants to be friends. I know it's crazy but well she's crazy so . . .
I think she wants to call and discuss the kids and whats going on in their lives. I think she's lonely. She has no real friends and I'm betting the ones she does have are sick and tired about hearing about her kids and how perfect they are. The way she comes across is that her kids are waaaaaay better than yours are. I think she just wants to talk to someone about her kids who will agree with her! DH is about the only person in her life that she could do that with.
I'm sure she wants to discuss how horrible this ex is and how their daughter deserves soooooo much better and isn't her new job sounding good and hasn't she grown into the most beautiful woman! All of which is true to some degree but DH has zero desire to chat with BM about anything, kids included.
I say all of this because last summer DH called SS while he was at BMs. SS was building a retaining wall for BM and had asked DH how to do it. DH remembered something and wanted to make sure SS did it properly, so he called. Big mistake! BM answered SSs phone, said oh he's working and proceeded to talk DHs ear off for over 1/2 an hour about the wall he was building. She was being very nice, no yelling or complaining and DH just sat there going "oh, ok", "yeah, that can happen", "I see" and rolling his eyeballs at me. I just laughed. The call abruptly ended, not sure what happened but he didn't call back and neither did she. Honestly, it sounded like she just wanted someone to talk to.
He needs to shut down those
He needs to shut down those conversations ASAP.
"Oh, okay. Gotta go. Bye." ~click~
Well I never had to deal with
Well I never had to deal with that with BM. Remember she did NOT tell DH when their older son died. Had the funeral without him and told everyone that DH could not be bothered to come. She could have sent a text message at least. But no she did nothing.
That's maybe the silver lining for me in dealing with BM and SS34 (YSS). Both their actions have been SO egregious that there's no way DH ever tries to justify what they do.
Ha Ha
These BMs are ridiculous!
Lol bm calling exhusband with emergency they need
To get back together again for the sake of the kids... haha
they often divorced for the sake of the kids and themselves because it was an unhealthy marriage and relationship and it would destroy the kids even worser...
my eldest sd22 last year as a habit always report stuff going on at bm, she’s actually programmed to report about us to bm and then does the same when with us and doesn’t realise alot of the stuff she says strongly suggests her mums marriage is about to end and when she knows this (usually a year in advance) she will try to steal as much money she can and then when spouse asks for a divorce, she asks for everything even shit she’s not entitled to
now she knows from all that has been reported to her, hubby is thrilled being married to me, we have 2 gorgeous kids that everyone in family loves, hubby is no doubt actively banging me which probably means some more kids down the track.
but since exwife is a narcissistic biatch, she knows 2 kids are adults sd22, ss20 (who lives with us when not at university) so the eldest sd who is under her control could be financially cut off any minute from hubbys generous $1000 monthly allowance and she has only sd14 (who in under 4 yrs is entitled to jackshit) because hubby will be retired by then and made it very clear he wouldn’t pay any money to his kids when they’re adults and he’s retired and moves overseas to my country of birth where our kids will be schooling
so what do you do when you suspect your marriage is on the rocks, your youngest kid is close to being an adult and your rich exhusband has a much younger attractive sophisticated wife and 2 young minor kids going to start kindergarten in thenext year or 2?
You get your eldest daughter to guilt trip daddy in paying money non stop indefinitely, you claim you’re a born again religious woman and did this for the sake of your kids, you demand your exhusband come to your home with your current husband whom you were clearly seeing before you were divorced. God if she did finally contact hubby and do the whole crying thing and say we need to get back together for the sake of our kids.... that would be bloody hysterical... hubby would run home to me to tell me how pathetic it was....
my husband wants nothing to do with her but she screams alterior motive so i keep my distance which probably makes them think we’re about to get a divorce...
i just don’t know what hubby would say and if he would be sarcastic like me... if exwife contacted him directly instead of using eldest sd phone, asking him to get back with her, hubby has permission to say “i’m on the way home to f*#k my wife, she’s not YOU!”
yeah that would create a shitstorm....