Things I’ve begun saying to DH in the last year
Because grey rocking about his kids for two years didn't work and because I have a big mouth and feel compelled to say something lol.
"Well.... codependent dysfunction doesn't benefit anyone"
when he talks about how helpful/involved and over reaching his children are with each other.
"wow your family is very enmeshed"
"this is called triangulation"
"this is not a healthy reaction"
"it's not your job to fix your adult children's lives after their poor decision making"
"you can't redo your parenting but if asked you can provide advice on what to or not to do, money for their "problems" is not going to solve anything"
"your kids are big turds" just kidding I didn't say that but have often thought it.
(Reminder- the "kids" are youngest 35 oldest 46)
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Comments
Sigh...
Save your energy, he will still think of them as his needy little childten til he passes.
I know you are right!
Because you are living a similar situation!
Facts are neither good not bad, they are merely facts.
DH needs to hear them.
Classicly brilliant.
Well played.
Keep up the great work.
You are doing a great job
You are doing a great job of pointing out his illogical responses to his failed children. Like Rags said: Keep up the great work! Keep taking care of yourself and your mental health - and understand that he may not respond well to your statements, but that doesn't mean you aren't right.
I laughed out loud when I read "Your kids are big turds." That is something I have thought, often, too!
It feels good to state the facts out loud.
By remaining silent I feel like it's taken as agreement that his kids treatment and behaviors are ok when they are not.
Yep
It might not do anything... but I am willing to bet it feels really good!
Who knows...maybe it will sink in after awhile....