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BM trying to force SS to talk to BF about custody

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 02/01/2009 - 8:11pm

BF got a phone call from BM earlier tonight. He could hear SS protesting in the background that he "didn't want to", but BM said that SS wanted to tell BF something, and put SS on the phone. SS talked about everyday things and tried to keep the subject away from what his mom had put him on the phone for. BF asked him if his mom had something she wanted SS to tell him. SS said "Yes" but then lost reception. BM called BF back and BF asked her what it was that she wanted SS to talk to him about. BM said, "He wants to talk to you about the custody stuff." BF said he could hear SS in the background yelling, "NO I DON'T! NO I DON'T!!" He said "it sounded like he was practically dying." Her cellphone then lost reception again and the call cut off.

BF is really upset about this. Apparently SS has reached his breaking point because he's never yelled or protested when BM forced him to do things before. I feel so bad for the poor kid. I know exactly what he's going through, because my mother did the same thing to me. BF said he wished there were a way that she could see what she is doing to SS. I agree.

I want to encourage BF to tell his lawyer about this incident, but I'm afraid that he'll get mad like he always does if I offer my opinion or advice regarding his ex wife. He wants to be able to talk to me about it and how it makes him feel, but he doesn't want my input.

Maybe I can find a really good website about PAS and leave it up on my computer so that he will find it and hopefully read it.

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Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 02/01/2009 - 9:15pm

The score was : 2167
(Don't forget to also take the Parental Alienation evaluation form)

Extreme risk of harm to child (500 or more points)
For extreme risk of harm situations, effective intervention strategies should be employed as quickly as possible to stop the influences of the HAP parent from causing any further harm to the child and hopefully to begin the process or reversing any potential psychological damage already done to the child. Where it has been determined that a child is in the extreme risk of harm category and there is at least one critical risk factor present, removal of custodial and/or access rights to the child must usually be taken away from the HAP parent as quickly as possible in order to bring relief to the situation and to ensure that the child’s exposure to HAP influences is significantly and immediately reduced. The complete removal of the HAP parent’s custody rights on a temporary basis sends in this situation a strong message that the actions of the HAP will not be tolerated by society. Under conditions of extreme risk of harm to the child, and where one critical risk indicator is present, the following intervention is recommended:

That the HAP parent’s current custody status (sole or joint) be temporarily suspended until such time as it can be determined using the “risk assessment protocol” that the parent no longer poses an extreme risk of harm to the child stemming from HAP and its associated risk factors.

That the HAP parent’s access rights with the child be reviewed and access suspended temporarily should the required criteria for suspending access to the child be met. Supervised access should be considered for parents who are considered as posing an extreme risk of harm to their child.

That the currently residency arrangements of the child be reviewed and the primary residence of the child be changed on a temporary basis should the required criteria for altering the residency of the child be met.

That, as the first option, the child should be placed under the care and control of the other parent or another family member where an assessment has determined the child not to be at extreme risk of harm caused by an HAP party.

That a psychological assessment or parenting assessment or evaluation on the HAP parent should be conducted by a competent professional in an attempt to find the root causes of the HAP behaviours.

That a plan of care for the child be developed that can reasonably show how the risk of harm from HAP will be reduced prior to any consideration is made to re-establish any parenting or custodial rights.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*