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BM's life is falling apart

Nymh's picture

Apparently someone has put a lien on her accounts because she hasn't made any payments. She claims that it is marital debt but won't say who it is or what it was for. All of this debt is in her name - BF has no access to any of the accounts and can't even call to request information because his name was NEVER on any of these accounts. He has already paid off everything that was in his name during their marriage. Then she says that there is also a lien on her parents' account "because she is an authorized signer on their account" (which I think is a lie, I think they cosigned for a loan or something and now the credit company is coming after them because she's so delinquent). BM's father is very upset and he wasn't in the best of physical condition before anyway. BF called BM's father who told him he wanted his money...he can't even cash a check at the bank because they've been ordered to seize his assets until the debt is paid off.

BF told him the truth...he's been asking BM since they got divorced to give him statements for the marital debt so that he can pay his part, and she never has. She is happy complaining that he's a deadbeat and spouting off numbers that he "owes her" (which started out at $13,000 then mysteriously climbed to $17,000 and above over the past two years) but has never once so much as told him who the debt is actually to. She expects BF to cut HER a check for his half of the marital debt just going off of what she says the amount is. He has consistently told her, no, I will pay whatever debt is owed to whoever it is owed to, but I'm not giving YOU a dime.

BM's father then said something that has come as a shock to me. He said, "That woman is CRAZY. You need to take everything away from her that you can. She needs to hit rock bottom and get locked up in a mental institution where she can get some REAL help." This came from BM's own father! He went on to tell BF that if there's any way he can get custody of SS, even if he has to take on all the debt responsibility...whatever it takes, BM is not able to take care of him physically, emotionally or financially and something needs to be done. THEN he said that he was relatively sure that the debt which he is being held responsible for was created in 2006 - BF filed for divorce in January of 2006. So come to find out, this probably isn't "marital" debt at all. But of course, we wouldn't know, because BM won't tell us.

So BF and BM are going to court on Tuesday for the CS adjustment hearing. There will probably be a continuance, but if not...BF's lawyer is gearing up to contend with BM's allegations on how she's in such financial hardship because BF is a deadbeat who won't give her any money. The lawyer printed off a statement of BF's child support payments (a favor that BM granted us when she forced the payments to get taken over by the state board of CS enforcement) to show that BF is not only current and has been for the past two years, he's actually ahead by a few hundred dollars. And he's also going to point out that she's STILL unemployed, and is now working on her eighth month. He's going to request that she provide proof that she's been trying to find employment...she told BF that she's gone for two interviews with a school in our town, but conveniently doesn't even know the school's name...

BF's lawyer is working toward filing a lawsuit for contempt since she won't give any information on the debt and she was ordered to in the divorce papers. He's also begun gathering what he needs to countersue for sole custody of SS.

BM had been getting better and better...but I have a feeling everything is about to get much, much worse.

Comments

Most Evil's picture

Could it be the IRS she owes? because I don't think a credit card company can shut you down like that, but the government can.

Isn't it weird too that her dad didn't object to her doing all this stuff, only since it has affected him now too! my fil is doing something similar.

But it sounds like you are solidly protected and may even be able to get custody!!!

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

Nymh's picture

BM gets sizeable income tax refunds every year. If she owed the IRS, wouldn't they take it out of her refunds?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Mary Louise's picture

you can have bank acounts seized over drug related charges - my dad managed a restaurant for a woman whose bf was selling drugs - she was laundering some of the money through her restaurant and had a safe in her house with 40k in it. until it was all settled her bank accounts business and personal, and all the people that lived in her house, or had lived in her house were all frozen until everyone was charged. apparently her bf had been investigated for some time.

so, she could be lying about why her accounts are frozen. any possibility she has been selling or involved with someone selling drugs?

i think if there were any suspicion of that, go and look her and her friends up to see if any of them have warrants. most locales have tip lines you can call if you know the whereabouts of people with warrants. wild idea, but you never know.

Nymh's picture

I couldn't imagine it being drug related. She has no friends, and selling drugs would require her actually getting off her butt and doing something, which we all know she never does. But thanks for the info!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Nymh's picture

She probably was in collections for quite a while and they took it to court. BF and I are subscribed to myfico.com and we keep a very close watch on our credit reports. As soon as they were divorced, BF went through everything on his report and paid off all of the debts that were in his name. All of the other debts, he doesn't have access to because it's in her name only. So he did what he could, and asked her time and again to provide him the information for the rest - which she never did.

I can't imagine them seizing BM's parents' accounts unless they were responsible for the debt as well, like if they cosigned for her.

She does owe student loans. The last we knew, they were about $14,000, which conveniently was right around the number she started with when they first got divorced and she was trying to get BF to pay her the money for his half of the marital debt.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Mary Louise's picture

FYI - just because she has accounts in only her name doesn't mean that your dh/bf won't have to pony up. this just happened to my dh - she had several accts in her name related to their marital house. he couldn't close the accts because they were in her name. some of them went into collections and she convinced a judge that dh owed the money. we brought in emails from her stating that she would close the accounts so he could put them in his own name. she failed to do so and the judge still did not hold her accountable.

be very careful - he may be on the hook for some of it, esp if it is related to their marital home. if he is ordered to pay, make sure that you get your order to state that he will "make arrangements to pay the creditors " that way he can make a payment arrangement that is satisfactory to you and the collections company and not be on the hook to pay a lump sum.

Nymh's picture

Luckily her house is not considered his in any way, form or fashion. In the divorce, there were certain things that were excluded from the marital assets/debts, like his vehicles and business, and her house and land. So even if she has liens on her house or is in default on her mortgage, he still would have no obligation to it (thank God).

We're not at all worried about having to pay this debt, nor are we trying to get out of it. BF has asked BM for two years to give him statements telling him who the debt is to so that he could pay his half, but she never has. So now he's going to have to probably sue her for contempt because not only is she not paying her half, but she's not giving him access to pay his half either.

Personally, if I was in debt and I knew that someone else was obligated to pay half, I'd give them all the access they needed! Who says "no" to free money?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*