Very relieving conversation with SS!
The last time SS was here, bf sat down with him and talked about things that biomom claims were bothering SS, which then led to other topics related to biomom, dad, me, and the situation as a whole. The conversation went very well! I was suprised and relieved at the outcome...
Biomom has been claiming that SS has nightmares related to and because of me. Any time he has to be around me, she says, the nightmares are worse. Well, bf sat down with SS and asked him what his nightmares were about. You'll never guess.
Zombies!
He's having nightmares about zombies. How does that relate to me? It doesn't! So they talked and joked about ways to help get rid of the nightmares and then moved on to the next topic. Bf showed SS some of the emails that biomom had sent him that day and in the previous days. He let SS read them and made sure he understood what he was reading. Most of it was "SS has a problem with THIS, SS has a question about THIS and THIS and wants to know why you're living with HER and why you have to drag HER along with you guys when you know that SS HATES HER and it's HIS day to be with YOU, not HERS" blah blah blah. Bf asked SS if those were really things that he had questions or problems about. SS said no! He said "those aren't my questions, those are my Mom's questions." Then bf highlighted the part in the email that said "SS hates Nymh" and asked him if that was true. He said, "No, I told you before I like her and she's fun to hang out with." He told us that the thing he didn't like was coming on visitation and having a good time, then having to go home and deal with his mom asking a million questions and making him feel guity for having fun.
Bf called me in the room with SS's permission and included me on the conversation for the last few minutes of it. I felt really good after that conversation knowing that I was liked. I'm relieved that the atmosphere we try to give SS when he is here is appreciated by him. We try to provide a fun and relaxing day for him and he really enjoys himself when he is here. I just wish he didn't have to deal with hell when he went home afterwards! I feel so sorry for the kid. It's so wrong of her to make him feel guilty for having a good time.
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Comments
Wow...she has serious
Wow...she has serious issues! What a sin for your SS to have to deal with her crap! You guys will have to keep the lines of communicatoin open with Dad, SS & you. What will happen if/when X finds out that all of this was discussed? Will she make things that much more difficult for her son?
RE:
Actually, she drilled him for hours after he got home, and finally got it out of him. She then told us that SS had "gotten confused" when we were discussing things and that those were all really SS's questions that she was talking about, not hers. She's impossible! Why can't she just realize that SS is going to tell us the truth no matter what lies she throws at us and drop it?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
OMG..
How old is the son? Just curious..
I think that your BF should get a pat on the back.. He sat down with his son and showed him what his biomom was writing. That is awesome. I feel sorry for this boy because his mom is trying to cause problems between you and his father.. But really she is causing harm to her relationship with son. That boy will be living with you and father before all is said and done. You keep on being a stable and loving person you have been.. Maybe the ZOMBIE is really his mother.. Did she ever think of that.. Well at any rate you can now have a new name for her... ZOMBIE.. That fits don't you think....
Best of luck and I am glad it worked out in your favor.. I again feel for the son but he seems smart enough and will figure his mom out..
Good Luck..
RE:
Oh, you made me smile so big! I have had hopes and fully expect that eventually SS will come to live with us when he is old enough to make that decision. He is just a child still, not yet 10. Every time they have one of these conversations, BF tells SS that in a few years he'll be old enough to decide where he wants to live, and kind of leaves it at that. SS gets the idea.
I love the ZOMBIE nickname idea! That's priceless!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
What a sin for him....It
What a sin for him....It would be nice for him to not have to act so much like the adult in dealing with his mother's childish goings on... I don't expect his mother will make it easy for him...if he ever decides to go with with guys.
Good Luck
It will all work out.
If ZOMBIE does not make a life for herself soon and start being happy with life and deal with her decision to leave your man she will actually look like a ZOMBIE for real..
They say that laughing takes years off. I laugh all the time..
Well ok maybe not all the time... BUT most..
When he lives with you two full time she is going to be sorry.. And it will be her own fault.. She should let her son make his own mind up about you and quit quizzing him... I am a mom and I ask my kids the normal ?, did you have fun? Stuff like that but I do not ask what did they say none of that.. I want my kids to make there own minds up about my ex's GF..
I totally know how you feel!
I totally know how you feel! My hubbys ex constantly tries to get my SD (shes 4 years old) to hate me. Well as much as she tries it does not work. My SD wont back down when it comes to that. She tells her mom "I love you both the same". So really she is just digging her own grave when it comes to my SD because she never makes time to spend with her and all she wants to talk about is me and SD is getting really tired of it. I just keep things really positive about BM and SD seems so relieved to not have to be drilled about things. SO way to go being a good stepmom! Its hard but most of the time it is worth it! Sounds like this kid really needs you!
We had this issue to…SD6
We had this issue too…SD6 (was like 3 or 4 at the time) was riding in the car with us one day and we passed her grandmother’s house and she said “that is where my nana lives” an then she said “daddy, my nana doesn’t like you, but I like you” (mind you she has only met my husband one time, in the delivery room where the biomom had check in under a false name, during which time she (the nana) told my husband that he could see his daughter in a year or so after they got her “settled in” YEAH RIGHT!)…I think it shows the maturity level and character of thr so called adults that they are trying to poison the mind of a child against their own family members….and contrary to popular belief stepsiblings, stepparents and “half” siblings (I HATE that term!) are FAMILY TOO!!!! I wish these chicks would GET A GRIP! Fortunately for us, kids are sometimes able to see through all the adult drama and decide “but I like you”
Make a GREAT Day!