why is SD 7 a "good girl" if she forgets to put her dishes away??Overpraising fed up!!!!

It is not a big deal, all our kids in this family forget things at times, this morning it was SD7's turn to forget to put away her dishes.Part of the problem is probably that her grandparents are staying with us for 8 weeks (!) and do anything for her as if she is a baby.
Forgetting something is one thing , but why does SO have to tell her again what a "good girl" she is and what a great helper etc if she forgot her chores and needed to be reminded.A normal" thanks" would have been ok or even a "try not to forget it next time" much more appropriate.
Geez, SO AND his parents tend to overpraise the kid all for every fart she does.Bet SO wouldnt have said anything encouraging to my kids if they would have forgotten their dish duties!
Maybe I am petty, but the coddling sucks, not SD's fault though, she has been rather an angel this week(inspite of being babied by her grandma).

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Worst invention ever??

Participation Trophies.

Look for the book "nurture

Look for the book "nurture shock" by Po Bronson. It details the research that shows how damaging this generalized praise is, and how it is counter-productive to self-esteem. Praise for effort, yet...praise for existing, no!!!

I'll look into it. This has

I'll look into it. This has been my feeling for years and why kids feel so entitled today. As if the world owes them everything.

yep!!

Hate hate hate reward for

Hate hate hate reward for negative.

Same thing here.
Constant praise for doing things that should be expected.
Constant praise for doing things after begging and pleading like the kid is some hero when it should have been done after the first request by an adult in this house.
Constant praise for getting 1 green light day at school but NOTHING mentioned the other 4 days that were yellow or RED - nothing.

Over the years now, I watch DH praise praise praise - I am all for positive reinforcement but that comes along with letting a child know what is an expectation and what is wrong as well.

DH is all praise, ignores, hides and doesn't mention anything bad. Why be good or fulfill expectations if there are none and bad behaviour doesn't come with consequences or even accountability???

sd was never praised for

sd was never praised for negatives, but she was allowed to do what she wanted after being called out on something she did. like the time she was caught in a sizable lie, and fdh told her "i'm not happy about that", then immediately let her go to her bf's for the whole weekend. :?

had that been my daughter, she might have gotten slapped and she definitely would have been spending a couple of weeks in her bedroom with no phone, no computer, no tv, and definitely no visitors. but i guess that's just me. i expect my kids to learn from their mistakes. apparently not all parents do.