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Well, they did it

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 9:02pm

Ssons (OSS22/YSS20) were invited to our place for TG lunch/dinner 2 weeks ago. OSS accepted the invite. YSS said he had to wait on what his mother wanted to do. We live 10 mins from BM.

OSS just called to bail on lunch tomorrow as his maternal GM would be at BMs for lunch. YSS said he wouldn't be by until later because GM would be in town. BM informed them today.

Both boys live away from either parent. Both boys have cars. BOTH boys could drive 2 hrs to spend the day with their grandmother (she lives out of town) any freaking time they wanted. Yet because they cannot organise their shit in a line they blow off their father yet AGAIN for BMs plans.

I spent many weekends driving to spend time with my grandparents. After I had left home I would never expect my plans to be made by my mother unless I asked her (eg: So are you going to grandma and grandads? Mind if I tag along?)

I am so upset for DH. He is angry because he is vaccuming the crap out of the carpet.

Oh and today is his birthday.

Comments

Journey1982's picture

Submitted by Journey1982 on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 9:23pm

I know exactly what you are going through. I just posted about a similar situation with my SO. SO's children (17 and 23) live only 20 minutes away from their father - both drive and yet they said they didn't have the time to stop by tomorrow - they made other plans. Both kids are going over to the oldest ones girlfriends parents house for dinner (they've only been dating 6 months). WTH? Why do dads always get the short end of the stick? I was so upset with his kids that I screamed at SO that his kids are spoiled, liars and rude brats. I feel horrible for screaming at him because he was so crushed that his kids can't find the time to see him.

godess-clueless's picture

Submitted by godess-clueless on Thu, 11/28/2013 - 5:13am

It does no good to voice what you think when the steps cancel their time with their father. Voicing your opinion will either intensify DH's hurt or get twisted around later to make you the bad guy who dislikes his children.

There was a time when I would respond to my DH's anger, hurt and frustration by commenting "It's not your fault." Many times I would join him in his attitude of "How dare they do this to me" only to find myself getting blamed later. "Adult SD's don/t come around because YOU don't like them"

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 11/28/2013 - 9:49am

DH wants to talk to them but wants to avoid the guilt trip.

But he will be telling them that being first call for car repairs and last call for holidays is getting very old. We will see what happens if/when they appear. I know my DD/DHs SD will have a LOT to say about it! Yikes!

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 11/28/2013 - 9:50am

I learned the hard way being married to DH - don't plan according to those who care less about you. I tell DH dinner is a a certain time, whether they show up or not does NOT stop me from eating. They're told in advance - bring a dish to pass; they bring nothing, I don't substitute their lack of thought for us. And when they leave, we'll have our usual argument flair up regarding their lack of respect. My sks are so damn predictable.

Please tell your hubby Happy Birthday from me and send him super hugs.