Not sure it is going well....we're talking about scaling way back on our relationship...going back to how it was in the beginning and the wknds we have kids we'd each do our own thing...and see eachother our "off" wknds and possibly in evenings....I told him maybe after kids are in bed because he needs to start scaling back his time with my bios because they are super attached. Could be beginning of the end, who knows. We love eachother but we aren't ready to escalate and rush our relationship to full step family status just because of the kids...they tend to have you escalate things by the "family" type interaction.

I cherish what I have with him-and if I have to keep it that way for us to be happy then so be it. Unless he is willing to not let a 10yr girl rule his life and unless he choses to PARENT and NOT allow that then there is no solution. I told her she compromises my home values and rules, I was sick of being the bad guy. He has no intention of correcting my sons...he will back me up but I"m the "bad guy" with them, that's fine, they are my kids. I have to always waffle between very sweet and disciplinarian..be both mom and dad. I've accepted that...having him in my life isn't changing that-he just gives ME moral support and has a friendship with them. THey like him, respect him and listen to him-I like their roles together.

We just can't determine mine w/his D or her D with my kids- And yet she washed my dishes, cleaned my floor, cooked nachos for the boys...she can be so giving and sweet and then turn into a demon. I'm crying right now. I'm sad I feel like we're loosing this relationship slowly. The prospect of blended family isn't looking good.

She opened up yesterday in a dramatic way but I DO understand her...she's bounced around from home to home-her mom when she's not w/my bf is placing her w/her other grandparents, friends, etc...NOT being a parent. SO there's different sets of rules at every place she goes...NO stability she doens't know which end is up-who's right, who to listen to. AND she's going from being only child to middle child. And she says she HATES being in the middle-I know, I do to I was the middle child and I STILL bitch about it lol...you feel third wheel, displaced, etc....my kids "role" hasn't changed...just hers from only child everything about her to middle kid. She's struggling, she hates it, she can't get along, the dad sess her torn, he's not parenting as he should and I"m caught in the middle again trying to make everyone happy and failing. SO don't know if I can do this.

And it's New Years-my favorite Holiday....I don't know what to do-this is normally the happiest day of the year for me. Damn it!