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Update on SD17 losing door priveleges

paul_in_utah's picture

As I posted yesterday, SD17 lost her door privileges when she locked her bedroom door prior to going to school. This is a violation of a major house rule, and SD has been warned about this before, so I took the door off of the hinges. As expected, SD PISSED was when she discovered this.

SD called DW upstairs and asked for “her” door back (I listened to this from the bottom of the stairs). DW explained that she was being punished for violating a very serious house rule. SD then stated that it was “HER room, so it was HER door.” To her credit, DW stood her ground and reiterated that SD is a teenager, and does not have the right to lock her door so long as she is living with us. SD then stated that she locked her door in retaliation for my decision to put a locking door on my office. She was mad because “HE went and put a lock on OUR” office door.

Listening to the entitlement attitude coming from SD17 was pretty amusing. Comments about “her” room, “her” door, and “our” office really showed how big her head is. It was particularly amusing that she was upset about the office, since she hardly ever used it anyway. She was just upset that something she MIGHT use SOMEDAY was taken away from her. DW came back downstairs, and I thought that was it. But, of course, I was wrong…

SD17 then came stomping downstairs, and went out into the garage and started clanking around. DW asked her what she was doing, and SD said that the real reason she locked her door was to prevent me from messing with “her” stuff while I was cleaning her room. SD17 said that she was going to go all around the house and gather up all of “her” stuff. Again, this was pretty amusing, because our garage is almost empty. This didn’t stop SD from rifling through stuff for half an hour, though. I thought that DW should have made her come in, but I didn’t want to push the issue since DW was actually supporting my decision to remove the door.

SD17 finally comes in, wearing a “camouflage” hunting cap, and carrying a baseball bat that she hasn’t touched in at least 4 years. DW then tells SD to put the bat up, since we keep sporting equipment in the garage, but SD vigorously argues her “right” to keep the bat in her bedroom. This goes on for a while, until SD comes up with the idea that she needs the bat in her room to fend off “robbers” “someday.” SD knows that DW is very paranoid about break-ins, and was able to exploit this weakness to get DW to cave in. On her way upstairs, SD makes sure that I saw her smacking the bat against her palm.

I went to the master bedroom with DW, and told her that I did not think that SD should have a weapon in the house. DW would not budge on this point, because SD had stirred up DW’s fears about a break-in. I didn’t push this, as I didn’t want to lose support over the door issue. We then discovered that while SD was in the garage, she went all through the car, and even popped the hood for some reason. After this, we had the topper of the evening: SD went into the backyard to look for “her” stuff, and somehow managed to lock herself out of the house. Smooth move!

In final analysis, I was happy that DW supported me on the door issue, but I am a little concerned about SD having a bat in her room. DW and I agreed to put the door back after 48 hours, with the understanding that a subsequent violation gets SD17 a full week without the door.

Comments

somerg's picture

bahaha she locked herself out of the house!!!

i'm sorry that's funny.

good for mom standing her ground

starfish's picture

you might want to keep your bedroom door locked at night.. that bat would bother me, too.

kidos to dw for supporting you. what a little bitch of a sd

somerg's picture

she doesn't HAVE to have a door. there's a bathroom, she can go in there for privacy, or changing clothes (with a time limit)...couldn't tell you how long i went without a door growing up having a door is a LUXURY imo

stormabruin's picture

Yep!^^^

stormabruin's picture

How funny that she took notice of the locks on the bedroom & office doors, yet didn't think to check the locks on the outside doors! Heehee!!! Did you wait for her to ring the doorbell to let her in? }:)

Yeah, the bat wouldn't fly with me. She's carrying too much anger.

paul_in_utah's picture

No, she didn't ring the doorbell. DW and I were laying on the bed watching TV, and I heard this awful racket - SD was pounding on the back door. Good thing she didn't bang her head on the door - we would have needed to get a new door.....

oneoffour's picture

Swap the bat for the door.
Remind her mother/DW that having a bat is not a good weapon. An intruder would take it off her and batter her to death with it. A better way would be to get an alarm system.

My boss got one when her kids got up at night anf watched TV. She can alter the beams from her bedroom up and down the hallway. Wow, you are keeping your 'family' safe from intruders (not to mention stopping your SD from going out at night or sneaking in very late!)

oneoffour's picture

Swap the bat for the door.
Remind her mother/DW that having a bat is not a good weapon. An intruder would take it off her and batter her to death with it. A better way would be to get an alarm system.

My boss got one when her kids got up at night anf watched TV. She can alter the beams from her bedroom up and down the hallway. Wow, you are keeping your 'family' safe from intruders (not to mention stopping your SD from going out at night or sneaking in very late!)

stormabruin's picture

I agree with this. ^

I'd also make it very clear that because she sleeps in a room in your home does not make it HER room. It's still YOURS. You pay for it, not her. Therefore, the door also belongs to you, along with the garage & the car she helped herself to.

She may use YOUR bathroom to change in until she realizes how wrong she's been in her mentality, attitude, & behavior & can bring herself to apologize.

Then she gets her door back, however the bat stays in the garage with the other sports equipment. It's a bat, & should be used as one.

My parents never took my door for slamming it. My mom made me open & close it 20 times quietly, which was usually more embarrassing & irritating than anything, but it was also humbling. I did lose it, though, for locking it.

paul_in_utah's picture

Thanks for the support. We will see how it goes. SD17 still has a very long way to go.