Best weekend with my babies.....and sad comments from dh
So as I posted in my last blog, I have less than two weeks before ss11 returns home from his summer away. I decided to e joy my last few days of peace and happiness with my boys.
Dh had to work all Saturday (new shift has him working days I stead of 2nd shift) so I splurged and took my boys on a dolphin cwatching/snorkling cruise. O...M...G, I think that rates as k e of my favorite days ever. It was an absolutely perfect day, well minus bs4 having a meltdown on the way home, but he was exhausted so I understand.
It was a 4 hour cruise. They took us to two snorkeling locations, one over a sunken ship wreck and then to an island where we could explore an old lighthouse and snorkel in the shallows. Let me tell you..... My boys were absolute rock stars. Every one on the ship was smitten with them and raving about how well behaved they were. Not many 4 and 1 year olds would be able to do what we did....esp with only one adult responsible for them. But they are so well behaved it was completely stress free for me. They both had an absolute blast.
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At the sunken wreck bs4 had
At the sunken wreck bs4 had on his life jacket and stayed one the surface snorkling around while I followed behind him with the baby in his floaty raft. Bs4 thought he discovered a sunked pirate ship and was so excited. Then we all got back on the boat and we went to an island that's also a state park s s we explored the lighthouse and gun turrets before we hit the shallows for more snorkeling. Bs4 was able to reach the bottom here so he was finding starfish and sand dollars. The guide was awesome, teaching him so much about marine ecology and he was just soaking it all up. Every picture I took they both had huge smiles on their faces. Not "loom at mommy and smile" smiles..... But smiles of genuine joy.
Once we returned to the dock we were able to jump in the hotel pool (the boat left from the back of a beach resort) and made friends with a few of the guests.....who raved about the boys the entire two hours we stayed at the pool. How cute they were, how smart they were, how well behaved. really did my heart good.....since I feel like a failure as a parent most of the time because of how the skids behave. I am constantly bet down with negative comments from dh and his entire family about everything I am doing wrong. But I am a good mom, if I wasn't then my kids wouldn't be so fantastic. I just hope I can hold onto this feeling once summer is over and I am back in the step mom grind, getting dirty looks from people in public because of how skid behaves.
Spent way more than I should have but it was totally worth it.
Dh made a comment this weekend that made me sad. He commented how he knew which children of he could count on to continue the family li e once he's gone.....and it's bs4 and bs1....that he is so happy he has " an heir and a spare". Then he asks bs4 how many kids he wants and mention s having him name his son after him.
So on one hand its validating to hear that obviously dh on some level see what I see in with the skids. There is def distinction there. But if really makes me more sad than anything.... That even dh can't see much of a successful future for them. Esp the naming thing. Fil, dh, and ss11 all share the same name. So it should be SS who is expected to name his son after dh, not bs4. I can't imagine the disappointment dh has to feel in SS to discount him like this, but honestly I do t see much of a successful future for him either. Not that we are giving up or would ever let him know these feelings.... But its the truth. I just can't see him holding a job down, or anyone putting up with his behavior and staying with him. Unless he has a serious change of course, he's in for a long hard road.