I don't know if all my saddness is the result of the skids or if this situation is causing me to become clincally depressed.

Dh didn't go to work yesterday. He went to take his car for a car wash/detailing and didn't plan for enough time. So rather than go in late, he just called in sick. So he was home all day. He went to pick up the skids and bs3 from daycare and I went across town to pick up the baby from the nannys.

BS didn't have a good day ay school, not listening well, and therefore he didn't get dessert or tv last night. We had a long talk about what is expected of him and I had him make a sorry note for his teacher. Dh was watching tv in the bedroom fueling all this and didn't say anything to BS about his behavior.

Dh did actually feed the kids dinner....by reheating the left overs that were to be my dinner and lunch for today. He did tell the kids to shower when they got home, so that was done too. He technically did male my typical night easier by feeding the kids and having them bathe, but I was still really irritated and frustrated all night.

After I get the kids to bed, I go to find something to eat for dinner (since Dh fed my food to the kids). But there were no clean pots of the right size to cook on, so I just gave up and didn't eat. I spent the next hour just resting my head on Dh while he watched football, sad as can be. He asked me what was wrong, but I honestly didn't know. I just wasn't happy.

Could Dh have done more to help out, yeah. But is that why I was upset, I honestly don't know. He could have done the dishes, he could have done some laundry, he could have picked up the floor, he could have dealt with BS misbehaving.... And he didn't. But I don't think that's why I was sad. I think I just don't like how my life has turned out. The more I think about it, the only times I am happy is when it is just me and my two BSs.

Then this morning:

The school uniform/laundry issue (see previous blog) came to a head. SS only had one shirt left for himself so couldn't lend her anything. So she just yells to her father that she doesn't have a uniform to wear. He comes to me to fix it and I just yell back to her hat we are leaving in XX minutes and to get ready. "well, what is she supposed to do"....."get dressed because I am leaving soon"..... Buy she doesn't have a uniform.......... Well, what do you want? I can't magic her a clean uniform. She chose not to have her clothes washed...... I thought you said that she had two weeks worth of clothes?..... She does, so that means its been over two weeks since she brouht her clothes to the laundry room.....well, what do you expect her to dp, she doesn't have a uniform..... I expect her to put some friggin clothes on because she is going to school!. Why the fuck is everything my responsibility? Why does no one else in this house have any responsibilty for anything, even their own actions?

Then getting into the car, SD had to act like a total ass yet again. I was taking Dh SUV, since the car place uninstalled the carseats in his car, and I didn't have time last night to reinstall the babys carseat base (my respinsibilty of coarse) so Dh is taking my van to drop the baby at the nannys. The skids ride in the third row, due to the car seat in the middle row. SD sits in the very first seat and refuses to move over to let SS in. Nevermind we had this SAME exact issue on Monday and Dh popped her in the mouth over it. She was being so disrespectful to Dh when he told her to move over that he flicked the back of his hand and popped her. Yet here we are, three days later, and she's song the same shit.

Then we get to the daycare and SS hands me his school planner to sign, that has a huge note from the teacher. Dh didn't bother to mention it to me, disciple SS, or even read the note. He just took SS word on what happened at school and dropped it.

I just don't know how much longer I can do this.....