So mad right now, I cant believe he is.pulling this shit NOW, of all times.
We are schedualed for induction tomorrow morning at 530 am. The plan this entire time has been that the skids go to school/daycare and BS comes with us to watch his brother being born. He's been completely on board with this plan since day one.
So I go to bed early and he come in half an hour ago (1230 at night) to tell me that he wants to send BS to daycare tomorrow. I say that I want him there. He then throws down the ultimatum that either BS goes to daycare or he's bringing all three kids into the delivery room. Then he rolls over and went to sleep.
So its either do what I want (and fuck what we discussed and decided as a couple) or ill blackmail you into getting it how I want. I can't believe he's pulling this shit 5 hours before I am to be induced. The one fucking day it should he catering to me and what I want, he's trying to blackmail me.
I have almost no power in this, and he knows it. I'll be essentially helpless tomorrow..... And instead of supporting me he's blackmailing me. At this point I would rather have my son there than my husband. My son has def been there for me more over the past 9 months.
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Can you tell the staff you
Can you tell the staff you only want your DH and BS in the delivery room since you are the one having the baby?
Tell him if BS isnt there he
Tell him if BS isnt there he wont be allowed to be there either, and that you will tell the staff the skids arent allowed.
That's probaby how tomorrow
That's probaby how tomorrow morning is going to go down. It's just fucked up that it will have to come to that. A dark cloud and resentment hanging over the birth of my baby. I'll be pissed at him, win or.lose..... And he will be pissed at me, win or lose.
TELL HIM THAT!! Ask him if
TELL HIM THAT!! Ask him if having skids there is worth tainting the memory of the birth of your child!
I could try, but I can't be
I could try, but I can't be legally responsible for BS while admitted. So I have to rely on Dh and my mom to tend him while I am in labor. And if Dh brings the other kids to the hospital, there's nothing I can do. If I flip about it he could just take all three of them away and there's nothing I can do about it. Or if I bring BS and refuse the other two, he could just refuse to tend BS and then make it.miserable for everyone. So he really needs to be on board with the plan for it to work.
The skids can't be dropped off to daycare til 6, and I have to be at the hospital at 530, so I was to go and he would wait and drop off the skids, and meet me at the hospital with ds around 630 after taking the skids. I can't take BS with me (hs is only allowed in the room if another adult is present), so I have to rely on Dh to bring him, and only him at 630.
We have been preparing ds to watch his brother be born for.months. I've spent all day today talking to him about it, so he knows he's supposed to come with us tomorrow to see "his" baby be born. He's going to be beyond crushed tomorrow when he is told he has to go to daycare. Dh just brushed it off as he won't know the difference. But he will.
And it means I don't get ANY time with just my two boys. I was so looking forward to a few hours to have peaceful bonding time, take some cute pictures with the two of them, and just relax and enjoy my family. Now he will be getting all three kids from daycare together and it will be a hectic, stressful visit.
Tell him BS has already been
Tell him BS has already been through your vag and you don't want your skids look at your lady parts. Not to mention the fact that I doubt the skids WANT to watch a baby come out of your lady parts... I watched my niece be born... NEVER AGAIN! :jawdrop:
If Ye had valid concerns snot
If Ye had valid concerns snot BS being there, id hear him out and concider his points.
But its all "if BS is going then so are the skids". They didn't even want to come, I asked everyone when we first got pregnant. BS is the only.one whose ever expressed an interest in coming.
We have his other kids full
We have his other kids full time, so that line doesn't really well, lol.
That's all it is, he's now
That's all it is, he's now guilty that they aren't too g to be there and BS will.
SS is 10 and SD is 9.
Penutsons obviously this is
Penutsons obviously this is something YOU want and something your DH had agreed to. I would be suspiciously thinking that he actually went along with ouyr plan while knowing all along he was going to drop this F bomb on you when you were at your most vulnerable and defenceless. In all honesty I dont know if I could forgive my partner if did this to me, as not only does it stress you but also the unborn child. Apparently his two other kids mean more at this time than what he should be concentrating on.
Personally I would NOT back down about this. Very difficult I know due to your position and situation however if you let this go your DH will think he can constantly take advantage of your vulnerabilities and you will cases to trust this person.
I know I would sooo be on the hpone to my mother right now and involving my family in this matter. Your DH has choosen to imo terrorise you with stress and blow up arrangements on HIS whim. Does he realise its not HIM who is giving birth? I would asking friends or family to get BS for me, either from the childcare or from the home while I was there prior to going to hospital. That way your DH cant refuse to hand him over. Dont give him heads up over this and dont discuss HIS demands at all. Ignore him.
I know this is going to sound extreme but I can tell you know I KNOW I would be inclined to even ban my DH from the birthing room, because I would be SO LIVID he had behaved like he has I couldnt look at him, pretend everything was ok AND have to give birth. Its too exhausting.
Not suggesting you do the above just saying how mad I would be. I would though, rely on those you can trust atm and blank your DH. He doesnt deserve your time and attention right now, and he has brought these consequences on his own head. Selfish d*ck.
Ah, I am sorry you are going
Ah, I am sorry you are going through this. It reminds me of my the birth of my son and how it was a mess because DH thought we needed to have loser that weekend. I had to beg the doctor to induce me so that I could ensure my DH was there with me, at least at the hospital, vs. driving down to see loser or worse, there at the hospital with US so that instead of enjoying our new baby, I had to be disgusted by loser talking about her crazy mother. Sigh.
I am so very sorry. I do agree that I would not let my bio child into any birthing room. Even all the things that you get connected to are a bit scary to some. But I can see where you would want him there at least at the hospital and for this to be a time for you, your DH and your son...
I didn't read the rest of the
I didn't read the rest of the comments but I will tell you that you have control over who is in the delivery room with you. Tell the nurses that your son is allowed in the room but no other kids. That would solve it real fast.
I have 4 kids and I would
I have 4 kids and I would never consider having any of them in the delivery room during birth. Ever. One of them almost died during birth. It was traumatic and NO child should be subjected to that. (No adult should either.)
But you want yours there. That's your choice. (Do hospitals even allow that? How old is the child?) Are you sure you aren't doing this to exclude the skids? Kind of "look, he's here, but you are not!"
Don't flame me. Just really want some insight into why this has become a war.
one way or another enjoy your
one way or another enjoy your day, its a brief moment in time, focus on the baby......Im sorry he is being such a dick and his timing...sucks..
I hope this all turns out the
I hope this all turns out the way YOU want its YOUR birth! My dd was 5 she was with me when I had her brother. Their dad failed me that day he slept on the floor of the waiting room with another woman most of my labor was only awake just in time 2 go smoke and watch me push. Our daughter counted while I pushed she announced his arrival and she cut the cord and she was dang proud to be there and help mommy! Put your foot down hard and up his ass if need be. It was me and a 5 yr old and a memory I won't forget and she is still at 16 proud to brag she helped deliver her bro.
I agree with BradyBunch, that
I agree with BradyBunch, that a delivery room is no place for a child. ANY child. (Some) adults can see the beauty in birth, but for a child it's just seeing mom in pain with contractions & to see the blood & mess that comes with delivery...even without considering the possibility of things going wrong, it's bound to just be traumatizing.