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Dear Abby and her skewed advice or "Won't somebody please think of the children?!"

princessmofo's picture

Submitted by princessmofo on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:23am

I had to chuckle when I read this. It is a situation we have read about repeatedly on Steptalk. And this situation is less about the children and more about the fact that the father is spending time at his ex's house, much to his new wife's chagrin...
http://news.yahoo.com/parenting-exs-house-issue-wife-050015110.html

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:34am

Hey Princess!

I would have NEVER married a man that still spent one day a week at the exs house. What was she thinking!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:37am

Does anybody really buy that the current wife's issue is that she doesn't get enough bonding time with the kids this way? I think that's a bit of an assumption on the husband's part and Dear Abby goes right along with it.

My DH had that mid-week visit but lived far enough away that it just didn't make sense.

confused86's picture

Submitted by confused86 on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:39am

Wow - that was just stupid. I highly doubt his current wife is upset b/c she's missing out on time with the kids... I think she's upset because HER HUSBAND is playing house with his ex wife and kids in their home... hell no! That situation is just plain stupid.

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:41am

That is the most ridiculous advice I have ever read. If the mom is incapable of helping with homework, then why doesn't the father have custody?

Or if it's really about the kids, then why can't the new wife tag along and go with him. Then the biomom would have to be the bigger person.

threeandfree's picture

Submitted by threeandfree on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:41am

The time that she is craving with the kids! hahahahaha!!!! I needed a good laugh today. A wonderful example of the assumptions the world places on SMs. Heaven forbid she has her own needs and wants that are about her and her husband. It must always be about the kids.
Thanks for this...

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:48am

This is why I would tell new step moms to make your needs and boundaries known. If the guy can't accept them, then he doesn't deserve to be with you.

No man is worth settling your life for.

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:47am

Hahahahahahaha!

That midweek time she craves with the skids?! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

Yeah...not wanting YOUR husband to spend one night a week at another woman's home is not insecurity. It's normal and natural.

princessmofo's picture

Submitted by princessmofo on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:48am

I really enjoyed seeing how quick Abby was to play the old "evil stepmother" card and blame all of this on his new wife's "insecurities". What a load of horsecrap! I'd like to see how Abby or some of the commenters to her advice, which was laughable, would feel if their husband was spending a significant amount of time with their ex.

blueorblackink's picture

Submitted by blueorblackink on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 9:56am

I commented in yahoo on this, here is what I said....

I am a differing opinion.... yes the children come first, as a responsibility, not a priority. When the kids grow up he will share his life with the wife. Children NEED to learn that life is filled with changes, and some of those changes are disappointing and inconvenient. Because if they do not learn that as children they will be horrified to become an adult. (where change happens constantly and no one cares if your fee-fees are hurt)

Also you do not go play happy family with your ex when you are remarried. Its disrespectful. If he wants to revolve his life around the children he shouldn't remarry until the children age out. A new wife shouldn't have to take a back seat to the 1st family. I mean seriously, is she just the maid and nanny he sleeps with?

3rd why do the children get to dictate the schedule? I am an anomaly in today's culture. I believe that children are born vacant. They know ABSOLUTELY nothing until they are taught or exposed to it. They are not born wise, all-knowing souls. Adults really do know what is best for them.

I think that the wife should divorce him. He puts her on the back burner for his "1st" family. If he cannot see why she deserves equal say in their marriage he doesn't need to be married. If the children have higher status than his spouse he should marry one of them and get them to help pay the bills.

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Fri, 02/12/2016 - 11:41am

Great reply. I created a Yahoo account just to reply as well. Hope the husband reads some of these common sense replies and ignores all the stepmom bashing I see going on in the comments. Had to step away before I got too angry.