A little too little, a little too late dh...

So as a follow-up to the dilemma yesterday of dh and his not being able to find his sack, I thought I would update you STalkers as to what went down.

I explained to dh with the most venomous language I possess exactly how his decision to 'skirt' the issue with twat waffle regarding open house and their 'mandatory' attendance together made me feel. I then proceeded to pack a bag for him so he could sleep elsewhere. Apparently, the realization that he was vacating the premises allowed him to relocate his ball sack and remove his head from cuntcakes asshole.

So, he called her and the convo went a little something like this:

DH: "I'll be attending ss's open house but not at the same time as you. I will go on my own.
TW: "I don't see why that is necessary. Just meet me at 5:30 like I said. You don't need to go a separate time."
DH: "I guess you aren't understanding me. I don't want to go with YOU. I don't want to be around YOU."
TW: "You are setting a bad example for our son. We need to show him we are united and one unit."
DH: *DH's face is red and his voice rises to a shout* "What fucking example is that?! That we are still married?! WE AREN'T! I don't want to go anywhere with you, ever!"
TW: *silence for approx. 20 seconds* "Whatever. Keep hurting your son and confusing him."
DH: "You're the one confused apparently. Goodbye."

DH hung up while she was still rambling. But here it is. Yes, she really still thinks they should act like a couple for ss's sake. The duchess of anus divorced dh over six years ago. I think this has less to do with ss and more to do with me. That putrid harpy has pulled this numerous times since dh and I got married over three years ago. If she wanted him that bad, she shouldn't have divorced him.

Needless to say this hasn't eased the tension between dh and me. I'm still amped up over it all. Yeah, he finally told her off but he back-peddled. First he sent an email saying he wasn't going period due to a "scheduling issue" then he calls her up hours later, out of fear, and says what should've been said to begin with.

So basically he looks cowardly and inept and I still look like some cheap floozy he cohabites with. FML...

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This is a baby step. I agree

This is a baby step. I agree with focusing on the positive outcome even though you may be rolling your eyes at his execution of it. They need a little bit of reinforcement and praise. It helps them hold onto that sack once they finally find it.

If he did what he didn't want

If he did what he didn't want to do and pissed off BM in order to address your concerns, and you are still just as angry with him, it may make him less inclined to do it again in the future. He went from having you pissed off, to having you and BM pissed off. He might see himself in a no-win situation. Of course, the winning situation was to have done it right the first time with BM, but he didn't. He did finally do what you wanted, though, so maybe you should let go of the anger and acknowledge the right steps he is making. Let him now it is worthwhile for him to stand by you at the expense of angering BM.

Thanks, everyone. But it's

Thanks, everyone. But it's really about freaking time on dh's part. This should have been done years ago with that maniacal cow. She's successfully usurped any part of a life I might have had with dh. Including clinging to his family to the point where they have nothing to do with us and remaining employed at the same company as dh.

But I feel these things are his fault as much as hers. She can only get away with what he let's her and he's given her too much reign over his life for too long. They are and always will be enmeshed. I can't muster any feelings of pride for him. I'm disgusted and repelled by his repeated cowardice.

I'm sorry but I really feel I deserve somebody who will put me first. Rather then feel like the "whore" who helps pay his bills, and raise his kid 50% of the time.

Exactly! Thank you!

I get you. It's hard to feel

I get you. It's hard to feel respect, even when they do the right thing, when it took the wrath of the step mom and an act of god to make it happen. Sort of loses the appeal.

Yep, I just don't get it.

Yep, I just don't get it. What possible motivation does he have to keep cuntcakes happy and shit on me? Uh, moron you live with me! I'm an idiot. Seriously. I should've bailed long ago.

I agree he needs to stick to

I agree he needs to stick to it every single time. But if you want to salvage your relationship i would accept this for what it could be. The first step. Explain to DH you are proud of his boundary stand but you're angry and disappointed that it took so long. That it is important to you that he take this stand every time BM tries to cross boundaries and not pussy foot about it which you find unattractive. Best of luck.

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