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MY kid is spoiled? SCREW YOU!

prozac_nation's picture

My BABY is 7 months old and because I rock him to sleep at night HE'S SPOILED?
What about YOUR kids that get a snack 12 times a day?
What about YOUR kids that scream and yell at you and then get coddled in return?
What about YOUR kids that you were willing to get us kicked out of our apartment for when I was 8 months pregnant so you could get them everything they wanted for Christmas? Including a 200 dollar game system for the brat that only came over FOR THE PRESENTS?
What about YOUR kids that are so fucking special that I got yelled at for having to buy TAMPONS because it took some of the money that could of been spent on THEM?

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

Ok, better now.

Comments

prozac_nation's picture

I refuse any comparison right now as BS7months is an INFANT. What is there one too many freakin teething rings in the house? Did he spit up on you on purpose? Jeeze, I'd understand if I was showering him with gifts or something but HOLDING HIM? Really? That's crossing the line? Hell, skids even play with HIS toys and I don't say a damn thing.

bi's picture

i have a mom like that, too. she's the last person who should be telling anyone how to deal with their child. my mom is unmaternal. if we had all been dogs, my brother and i would have starved to death because she would not have nursed or protected us. i guess when you have no desire to bond with your own kids, watching people do exactly that seems foreign. i had to finally tell her last summer to JUST STOP. that i was sick of it. she raised her kids, these 2 are mine. i don't need her advice. and you're right. they grow up in the blink of an eye, why would anyone not treasure what little time with have them as babies/children?

prozac_nation's picture

MIL keeps telling us to just let him cry. I can't stand it when people tell me to 'let him cry it out.' Are you kidding me? I really want to let my BABY scream and cry when all he wants is love from his parents. Great parenting. Plus, he's sick right now. Sad

Still Have Hope's picture

My pediatrician told me it is impossible to spoil a child under 2. They need your love, touch, rocking and comfort to feel safe and secure. Continue to be the best mom you can. Your instincts will guide you. An infant crying is meant to disturb parents. It is nature's way to insure that a baby is cared for.
As a mom of a 12 and 14 yr. old let me say hold him all you can. Rock as much as you want. He will spend the rest of his life moving away from you and it all starts with the first crawl out of mama's reach. Treasure the few months the he is totally dependent on you for it will be over faster than you can ever imagine.

Last point - studies indicate that the majority of highly intelligent people share one common factor. That is being held, rocked, spoken to and sang to extensively as infants. An early environment full of touch and speech is what stimulates infant brain growth (formation of synapses). If this growth doesn't happen in the first few months of life it never happens.

bi's picture

he's a POS. i would have shoved the tampons up his ass and left. that it bullshit beyond words.

oneoffour's picture

Ahhhh, hate to be a party pooper but my grandson (now 11 months) found it VERY hard to fall asleep without his mother rocking him. In the end I took over a month ago and gave him lots of cuddles and hugs and then did the 5 min/10 min/15 min thing until he went to sleep after screaming for 45 mins on and off. He is good now and will grizzle for a minute and then talk to his ball and go to sleep.

In saying this if your baby is a good sleeper and can go to sleep without assistance then great! Rock him all you want. But your little one needs to learn to settle himself. My daughter also made the same mistake with her daughter (now 5). But that was because she was in an emotionally abusive relationship and used her daughter as a barrier because her ex would never say horrible things around his daughter. Even now Miss5 will wake in the night and be unsettled with bad dreams and find it very hard to get herself back to sleep. Children need to learn to play on their own and occupy themselves and learn to be independent. Why do you think your SOs kids are so needy?

As for the rest of the crap thrown at you, I agree. You are with the wrong person. As my mother said "Comparisons are odious." I have used that from time to time. DH had to check what 'odious' meant!

Please don't think I am blasting you. It sounds like your little boy is the only joy in your life and like my daughter this is your barrier against your rather miserable life. I feel for you honey, I really do.

prozac_nation's picture

Oh, I don't think you are blasting me at all! I understand completely what you are saying. I don't hold BS all day, I just rock him for naps and bedtime. A lot of the time he wakes up when I stand to put him down but then settles himself back to sleep once he's laid down. Smile

oneoffour's picture

It pays to do a deep nose sniff beforehand. SOOOO much more effective. Then a dismissive closure of the eyelids as you turn away. Just open your eyes again so you don't trip over the cat!

oneoffour's picture

It is very hard to do. And when your baby is sick they need you close.

My grandson was standing up in his cot calling out and crying and screaming. If I left him too long he would have thrown up he sounded THAT upset. But .... I would go in and he would hold his hands out. He would then IMMEDIATELY stop crying. Stop cold. This told me there was nothing wrong except he wanted company and to play when he was fast approaching the over-tired stage. Oncce you reach that point of no-return all bets are off and I would have been sitting there calming him into a stupor.

I know it is tough and if you have a good sleeping baby and he is well and your house is quiet and clam, go for it. But when there is this tension with brattish whiney kids present... OMG, I would be self medicating just not to kill one of them!

newbiemommy's picture

I NEVER let my daughter "cry it out". She is now 16 months. My IL and SO tried to compare and still try to compare. My IL say I spoiled her that's why she doesn't like them... Yeah it SUCKS. But screw them, YOU are the mom. Do what your instincts tell you.You are the one that will benefit with a secure, well adjusted child.. I wish I had some great advice for getting the comparisons to stop, but I don't... My only advice is parent the way you feel is right, don't let ANYONE question you.

newbiemommy's picture

I NEVER let my daughter "cry it out". She is now 16 months. My IL and SO tried to compare and still try to compare. My IL say I spoiled her that's why she doesn't like them... Yeah it SUCKS. But screw them, YOU are the mom. Do what your instincts tell you.You are the one that will benefit with a secure, well adjusted child.. I wish I had some great advice for getting the comparisons to stop, but I don't... My only advice is parent the way you feel is right, don't let ANYONE question you.

herewegoagain's picture

Kids need to be close to mom anytime they cry or ask for it when they are babies. There is no such thing as spoiled children because of love. Do some research, sciencedaily is a great place to start...print it out and then shove the papers up his ass!