Bm and money
Dh and bm made an agreement that he would pay half of ss14 glasses which was just 50 bucks each. Dh told bm he would give it to her on this fri. (oct. 8th) I got my tattoo the sunday before on the 3rd. Now note here that I paid for my tattoo not dh we keep our money separate. I posted about bm getting upset about my tattoo and that I spent money on it.
Ok on fri. before dh even got off work bm texted and here is how it went at 5pm.
bm: Are you going to pay me b/c if you don;t I can't do ss11 bday?
dh: I said I would didn't I? and don't guilt trip me we both know that 50 bucks isn't going to make or brake his bday!
bm: I'm not trying to and I need you to do it before 5:30
dh: whatever, I can't I'm not even off work.
bm: Fine, the boys and I are going to the movies which is why i need to do it before 5:30.
dh: ok which theater are you going to so i can put it in your car?
bm: well we are jsut staying home and watching a movie there.
dh: ok I'll be there about 8pm when I drop purpledaisies off at work I'm not taking any time away from us.
bm: fine!
LMAO First, why tell someone you are going to the movies but it is really your house? LOL Second, gotta love my dh he put her in her place yet again and I'm still #1!!! }:)
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YAY FOR DH!!! I hate hate
YAY FOR DH!!! I hate hate hate when BM tries to get in our money business! DH is not going to say he'll pay for something then not do it! My DH told BM wait til he DOESN'T pay THEN she can act a fool! Lol Love the men who don't let BM run their lives.
How very manipulative of her.
How very manipulative of her. She should learn to manage her funds a little better so she doesn't have these problems.
DH has a BM that is always sniffing around trying to figure out how to soak him for some money. She is a compulsive spender and has a bunch of toys, but looks to him because she can't pay her bills. She's got tons of snowmachines, dirtbikes, and has the same for her kiddos, but can't pay her car note which is also in DH's name. Oh,well. So since I make way more than him, she's always giving us the pity story about how she doesn't have gas $$$ or groceries, but then she always has $$$ to play and go on trips, even if just weekend trips.
When she pulls this crap I always say "Well, if you're hard up, we can just take SD full time. Maybe one less kid will ease your financial burden or free you up to work another job."
As in I would die before I would give her more $$$ to blow. Her rent-a-dick can do that.
I like your attitude! When
I like your attitude! When you get divorced you no longer have the right to try to control the other or even know the other persons business. This is what dh tells bm all the time and I quote "you lost that right when we got divorced." Please everyone that is divorced remember that quote to tell the person you divorced. I will repeat, "you lost that right when we got divorced."
My XW tried that crap for
My XW tried that crap for nearly four years after we divorced and we did not have any children. I kept my cool and let her attorneys try to calm her down. Fortunately my record in court of getting what I want started with my XW and held trough the court drama with my SS's SpermClan.
You are correct that "you lost that right when we got divorced." is a very powerful sentence. I never used those exact words but I have used the message repeatedly with both my XW and with BioDad and the SpermClan. They all lost the right to control my wife and I when my XW’s divorce from me was final and when we spanked the BioDad in court repeatedly.
Best regards,
Rags you are right! What gets
Rags you are right! What gets me about this is that it was all about 50 bucks!!! Geez like that is a lot of money and it wasn't late or anything like that. I still don't understand why she was all riled up about 50 bucks that wasn't even late! I could understand a little IF they had made the agreement after I got my tattoo b/c bm would feel that we spent money on that and it was more important. But the truth is that I had the money and I make more than dh so I had more money than he does b/c he pays her which is why he had to wait till pay day for him.
This wasn't about $50. Who
This wasn't about $50. Who gets livid about $50? This was about snapping her fingers, and expecting him to jump through his bum to do what she wanted.
It was a control issue. That's what's so pathetic about it.
I read on here the other day that a poster got a new (or newer, at least) ride. Her BM was chapped about it. And I'm thinking that if my kids had a stepparent, I would be grateful they weren't riding around in a 25 year old beater with a heater. It's all control issues and petty games, and it's a real shame.
Haha, this reminded me that
Haha, this reminded me that we were without a car for a short period of time and had to scrounge up money for a vehicle (my work is 45 minutes away from my house). We ended up getting a great deal on a used van that looks like brand new.
Guess who has a new van in her driveway the next time we go to p/u my SS??? Haha. I guess she felt she deserved one too!
Purp, BM is a "DRAMA QUEEN".
Purp,
BM is a "DRAMA QUEEN". She likely will never be reasonable and will always have an opinion on how you and your DH spend YOUR marital resources and she will always be a victim of your financial decisions.
You can't fix stupid and DRAMA QUEENS are stupid.
Learn to play her like cheap individual that she is and enjoy her crap. I learned this long ago. The SpermClan would piss me off with their stupid shit until I realized that they don't realize that it is stupid. Then it became fun for me to bare their asses publically and often .... every chance they gave me.
Your tattoo is one way to do this. I would drop how much you spent on it and then watch her spin up about it.
Your DH pays CS on a schedule and is not late. Her inability to manage money is not his problem nor yours.
Have fun and let her wallow in her drama crap.
Best regards,
Your right normajean it was
Your right normajean it was about control. I forgot. My bad. Won't happen again.
The only thing is that dh has never said how high when she says jump, you'd think she would stop trying to do these things as it gets her no where and just makes her mad. Oh wait again my bad NORMAL people would have stop doing it.
Wow... I did not read it like
Wow... I did not read it like the rest of ya'll.
My take:
bm: Are you going to pay me b/c if you don;t I can't do ss11 bday? (Perfectly legit request.)
dh: I said I would didn't I? and don't guilt trip me we both know that 50 bucks isn't going to make or brake his bday! (Sarcasm... why?)
bm: I'm not trying to and I need you to do it before 5:30 (interesting... has DH put it off too long... sounds like a trust issue between the two of them.)
dh: whatever, I can't I'm not even off work. (Sarcasm again.)
bm: Fine, the boys and I are going to the movies which is why i need to do it before 5:30. (EX is ticked... now she is lashing out.)
dh: ok which theater are you going to so i can put it in your car? (Now, DH is responding nicely.)
bm: well we are jsut staying home and watching a movie there. (EX fesses up the truth... game playing.)
dh: ok I'll be there about 8pm when I drop purpledaisies off at work I'm not taking any time away from us. (And why did he have to respond like that to her? NOT TAKING ANY TIME AWAY from us? No need to ram it down her throat....there is a lot of hating going on here.)
bm: fine! (BM is ticked again.)
These are very typical convo's of EX's who bait each other. It is difficult to take the high road.... but DH would prove his point a lot better if he showed BM that he loves his new woman through actions, not words directed at BM to tick her off or ram it down her throat.... that just causes so much drama.
You may be partially right
You may be partially right about his response, but it sounds like to me she NEEDS IT NOW--but does she really? Perhaps there is a history of her nagging and implying that he's not going to keep his word--which is rude on her part. And the by 5:30 part, when she is just going to be at home...Perhaps in the past, she expected him to be at beck and call and it interfered with him and purple's plans...that's my take.
Yeah, my first thought on
Yeah, my first thought on reading the post was, if she needed the $50 so bad for the b-day party why in the HECK would she be taking the kid(s) to a movie theater???? That's not very cheap either!
But she did finally have to tell the truth that it was just vids at her house.
Vastepmom no dh was NOT late
Vastepmom no dh was NOT late by any means he told her he would give it to her on fri when he got off and after he took me to work (he likes to take me to work on the weekends so we can spend some time together). BM KNOWS that dh doesn;t get off till late and knows I don;t go to work till 7pm. Bm just wanted to try control dh yet again, she wanted him to bring her the money when she wanted which was earlier than their agreed up on time. And like someone else said why tell someone you are going to the movies but say at the same time you need 50 bucks for your sons bday party which is the next day? Why not SAVE the money you would spend on the movies for the party and then go at a later date? Or that is what she wanted dh to think is that she had the money to go to the movies which I don;t know why b/c dh could care less. Oh and I should mention that bm seems to have the money to go to out of state concerts all the time with or without the kids but she has to scream about me spending money on a tat? Also bm does NOT work and she lives off CS so everything that is funded at her house dh buys anyway. He reminded her of that the other day when she started whining about how much I spent on my tat and she shut up real quick!
there is a history of bm trying to milk and guilt dh into giving her more money all the time and he told her so many times that since she chooses not to work it is not his fault or responsibility to pay all her bills and then some. CS is only supposed to be his half to support his kids with her which means she should be putting money with his money to support their kids. Of course bm doesn't see it that way. BTW their youngest is 11 so I don;t understand why she can't work! But that is her thing I don;t care, if she doesn;t work than that is her fault that she is broke all the time not ours.
I may have missed something,
I may have missed something, but I thought the $50 was for glasses, not movies or birthday parties...?
LMAO!
LMAO!
That is a good!! LMAO thanks
That is a good!! LMAO thanks for that one!
Love them all did you not
Love them all did you not read???? Bm chooses not to work, Why should I feel for her? Bm lives off child support which is all the money she gets b/c she CHOOSES too. What part of CHOOSING to do this do you not get? She has done this for 8 years b/c she and I quote said "I will get all your money and purpledaisies money too and I shouldn't have to work b/c I'm the mom!"
My skids have everything the need and want, they have WAY more then my kids b/c bm CHOOSES to spend her money that way. Which is one the main reasons my skids feel so entitled plus bm tells the skids all the time that daddy doesn;t pay anything.
Stormbrain you are right that money was for ss14's glasses not for a party or movies or anything else. And like I said dh was not late nor has he ever been late paying her anything like the agreed, there was no reason for bm to have contacted dh about the money unless he didn't show up after 8pm. It boiled down to the fact that she wanted dh to the immpossible which was to be superman and fly it to her while he was still at work. the reason I said that is b/c dh didn;t get off work till 5:30 and that was when she expected him to have it to her.
"It boiled down to the fact
"It boiled down to the fact that she wanted dh to the immpossible which was to be superman and fly it to her while he was still at work."
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It doesn't even seem she wanted him to do the impossible. It sounds to me like she just wanted him to jump at her command. If the $50 is for glasses, she only needs the money in time for the purchase of the glasses.
DH & I did this with BM for SS's glasses. DH absolutely refuses to drop anything beyond CS into BM's hand. We actually paid the place directly for DH's part of the glasses. That way, he knew that that's where the money was going.
There have been times where BM claimed she didn't have enough gas to meet DH 1/2 way for visitation. DH would meet her at the gas station (their designated meeting spot) & look to see how much gas she had. If she had enough to get home, that's where he left it. If she couldn't get home on what she had, he'd prepay the cashier $5 on her pump. He figured she was able to pump it herself. He would NEVER just hand her the money.
I would recommend this method for your DH.
storm you are right she just
storm you are right she just wanted dh to say how high when she said jump and it didn't happen. Although on thing I can say about my bm is if she says she bought one of the kids glasses or the like she did just that and that what she said she paid for them is what she really paid. I am lucky in that aspect. Dh I can tell you right now that if my bm told him she didn't have the gas to meet for a visit he would tell her she better find the gas b/c is she doesn;t it will be contempt. My bm is scared to go to court why I'm not too sure but she always finds a way to do it.
Love them all just wondering
Love them all just wondering why you hadn;t responded? I mean you said you feel sorry for her but do still feel that way after I told you the truth? Just wondering.