I need help! My bil is he coming on to me or what?
Ok bil (my sisters dh) started talking to me months ago about my implants. Started off as questions saying sis wants them too. ok no biggie but as the convo went on it started to get a little weird and I told him so. I showed it my dh (fb) and he confronted bil who acted surprised. Well we got past it and more of a misunderstanding (benefit of the doubt). So O let it go and didn't talk about it.
Fast forward to last night bil contacted me on fb again this time telling me that sister is down and needed me and explained why. I told him to have her call me and we would work it out (school).
But then went on to say that he was sorry for the implant thing and he didn't mean to put me in a weird spot. ok no prob I told and tried to move on but he kept trying to talk about and I wouldn't. then he said that and I quote here "your hott with awsesome tits...and I want rebecca to be hott with awesome tits" I ignored him then he kept trying to get my attention with hello nad stuff. I told him I was playing a game he said i paly too many games I said I am addicted, then he said and I quote again " Well better leave you aloe before I say something I mean to tell you but shoulodn't cause it'll get my ass kicked or servred divoreced papers" Then he kept trying to get my attention again and I ignored.
I just didn't know what to say. I was very uncomfortable with that. I did show my dh and we talked but we don;t quite know what to do or how to do it.
So ladies help me here. I need advise on what to do, I don;t want to say anything to my sister she would be a wreak and wouldn't recover and she would never talk to me a again. I know her all too well.
i want him to know that without of a shadow of a doubt that NOTHING would EVER happen and he crossed a line but how do I say that without him turning on me?? I know he would tell everyone that I came onto him first. I also need to know how to save these comments/. thanks
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He crossed a major line. If
He crossed a major line. If you cant talk to you sister, I would have your husban talk to him. Let him know that it was not okay and that communication needs to be directed through his wife to you or directly to your husband. That is what I would do.
Yes he was IMing me. I have
Yes he was IMing me. I have it and taking a pic with my phone is good thanks. I agree I did tell him he should ask my dh. he said it was too weird i told him it was weird for me. hello??
My mil suggested that I just
My mil suggested that I just tell him he crossed a line I am not comfortable with and leave it at that.
Why would you sister get
Why would you sister get angry at you? Would she think you came on to him? Interesting.
He was out clearly of line and he knows it. I'm sorry your sister is married to such a louse.
Heck I think my brother-in-law (SIL's DH) is hot too. But the only person who knows this is my BF.
Since he's not shy about sending you messages, tell him his comments were inappropriate. Unfriend him from Facebook and ignore him going forward. If he doesn't get he hint, your DH will have to step in. Then I'm sure he'll get the message.
I would tell my sister. If
I would tell my sister. If this loser has no problems acting this way with you, her sister, imagine how he acts with other women that don't even know her. She has a right to know. I would confront him with both your husband and sister present. Print out the convo for her in case she has any doubts. His behavior is entirely inappropriate, and you sister has a right to know about it!
It is complicated. My sister
It is complicated. My sister is HOT I do have to say so am I the only major differences between us is that she has blond hair and blue eyes while I have dark hair and green eyes other then that we look sooo much alike.
However the biggest difference is that she has NO self confidence at all and is very hard on herself and has an eating disorder. Mainly b/c she things she has to be thin really skinny. She eats but not much. I see her eat but say if we go to taco bell she will get a Mexican pizza and get all but one slice with nothing else. So she eats but just enough does that make sense?
So anyway we have always had this unspoken competition mainly she looks up to me and she thinks oi am better then her and she could never live up to me. I have tried to talk to her about this as I think she is awesome and a great mom. She just needs confidence in herself. i do my best not to compete as there really is nothing to compete.
i hope I explained this so you will understand. I just don;t want my sister to think that she wasn't as good as me for her dh to want me instead of her. That is what she would think that it was her and she wasn't good enough but I was/am.
i hate that he is doing this i am so pissed for her but he is good to her other then this. He is a good dad he keeps a job and nice house and new car. He is with that stuff.
In that case, it's time for
In that case, it's time for your husband to have a man-to-man with him. Block your BIL on FB, telling him that you think he's being inappropriate and rude, then let you husband deal with him from now on.
Any chance of talking your sister into some counseling? Her self-esteem issues aren't healthy for her relationships. My sister is the same way, and her husband is just like your BIL. Everything looks great on the outside, tho, nice house and cars, etc... but she's miserable. She doesn't have the guts to leave it all, though.
no no chance been there done
no no chance been there done that. she has told me she wishes she could be more like me. I told she could and tried but she still thinks she isn't as good as me.
I just don;t know what else to say to her or how to get her to see she is good enough and a great mom and wife.
Echo that is what I as
Echo that is what I as thinking b/c I don;t want to ruin my relationship with her she really needs me. I am not trying be all high and mighty but she is my lil sister we are 15 year apart! I know her so well that she hasn't experienced the things in life that needs to to get to the pint of seeing things from all angles. plus she really needs someone to be there for her if/when something happens between them and I am really the only one. I live a few blocks from them right now so I am hoping he will stop this crap and be a good husband to her. She really just needs him to do that she has had a tough go at it with relationships. Her other long term bf cheated on her with her bff and they are now married with kids. then her other long term bf was killed in a motorcycle accident with her on the back. She is only 22. Now her dh is doing this crap!
Yes, unfriend him. I wouldn't
Yes, unfriend him. I wouldn't give him any forewarning though--just do it.
I agree with Echo in that your sister probably already knows, but she's probably in denial, considering the self-esteem issues you described. I wouldn't mess with telling your sister unless he does something that would be worth splitting a marriage over. I mean, he sounds like an ass and he may very well have done worse with other women, but him saying sleazy things to you probably isn't enough to make your sister see the light.
"Iam sorry. Last night my
"Iam sorry. Last night my back was killing me so I got shit faced drunk. Helped my back but made an ass of myself. I don't even remember anything. So sorry about that."
BIL just sent this to me. UGH!
Yea, this would be the part
Yea, this would be the part where you unfriend him. What a tool.
Yep I am waiting til dh gets
Yep I am waiting til dh gets home so he can copy the convo and then I will block him.
Now I understand. Your
Now I understand. Your sister is lucky to have you and I wouldn't tell her either. She's already had more than her share of bad breaks in the past.
Everything is based on perspective .. you can be the homeliest girl on the block, but if you THINK you're hot . .others will too and be drawn to you.
Your BIL knows he overstepped so now he's trying to cover his ass by making an excuse about being drunk. If he's saying stuff like this to you, can you imagine his behavior around other women?
Block or unfriend him now before this goes any further and gets out of hand. If not, someone is going to get hurt.
Shannon that is the main
Shannon that is the main reason I didn't want to tell her so she can have someone to lean on. Plus when I talked to my mil she said the same thing (she has known my sister since she was 5 as I meet dh when I was 19) so she knows my sister. She advised that I just simply tell him he crossed a line I am not comfortable with. So I did and that is what he sent back that he was drunk. whatever! :?
So when dh gets home he will copy it and out on the computer just in case then I will block him.
Your MIL is a woman of
Your MIL is a woman of wisdom. I too have a wonderful MIL and I thank God for her.
Your sister is blessed to have such a wonderful sister in her life. Sisters like you are like an old oak tree . . standing tall and strong with branches that bounce back against the wind and whatever comes its way.
Hopefully your BIL will get the message once and for all.
Yes my mil is a great woman
Yes my mil is a great woman she has helped with so much stuff for us and helped us blending our family too. She has also helped dh see things that I was trying to tell him about yuck and the boys and how things should be ran and how we should do things. It was her that was on my side about a lot of things when it came to yuck. If she thinks you are wrong she will tell you no matter who it is her kid or their spouses. She talked me down several times when dh and I were in fights about yuck but then she also told dh what he did wrong and how he should have handled it.
I am lucky to have her and I told her so too. We are right now planning dh's bday. anyway zi turn to her a lot when I needs advise b/c she is just so fair minded.