This just accord to me...Yuck is stuck.
She is stuck at the time that dh left her. She can't move on and blames dh for everything that is her now miserable life (her words). According to her it is dh's fault that she is a single mom and he abandoned her and the boys (whatever he never did that and always paid his CS and tool them on his time). It is also dh's fault that she had to work for about a year after he left and there for is now disabled (she is NOT disabled she just claims she is to anyone that will listen and claims it is dh's fault how I don't know?) b/c of it and she sacrifices SOOOO much for being a single mom and it is dh;s fault too.
Pretty much yuck blames dh for EVERYTHING!
Dh was talking to his mom last night and they were talking about this and I just don;t seem to understand this way of thinking? Why would you keep yourself down and miserable and always be the victim? :? I would want to shout out my accomplishments instead of i can't b/c it is HIS fault!!
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you nailed it! she will not
you nailed it! she will not take personal responsibility for her life.
our BM will do this with DH forever too. her brain works like a self-centered child's.
don't question why, or what you would do, it doesn't make any difference. she's a sad person, and by her choice, whether she sees it or not, she is perpetuating her own misery.
i view bm as a pathetic animal at my feet, something to be pitied. she poops and bites...it's her nature to leave crap and pain wherever she goes.
i'm so happy not to be like that.
Because acting like this,
Because acting like this, there is always someone who will feel sorry for her, thus feeding the troll. No different than those people who stand on the side of the road (usually with their dog) saying they need $$ because they're down on their luck. Not saying some really are, but I'm guessing there are some who aren't and are just playing it. And there will always be someone who will hold out a $5 and give it to that person.
Our BM is the same way -- chooses NOT to work since she was pregnant >15 years ago, and is always crying "poor" (even though she filed for divorce, all she gave my DH was debt to resolve, got the house then let it go into foreclosure, sold his tools/belongings so he basically had the clothes on his back and his old hoopty work truck). Those are the choices she makes, because she believes there will always be someone who will feel sorry for her. Because she's been doing it for so long, she's running out of suckers.
Yep same here. Yuck refuses
Yep same here. Yuck refuses to work now and hasn't for the last 7 years claiming she is a MOM and that IS her job! :sick:
She gets CS, food stamps, and hud but yest she is the VICTIM! :sick:
that's pretty deep
that's pretty deep flabby...and you are right her primary wound was probably not DH's fault but she seems to be projecting it onto him.
i just don't know how much the past matters in respect to taking responsibility for the life you live now.
this might be worth posting
this might be worth posting another blog.
but i get what you are saying about setting up boundaries around how i will be treated and how i will let bm effect me.
still chewing on the need for her to understand her primary wounds to take responsibility for herself. i suppose it would help her to understand the nature of her fears and needs if she looked at herself this deeply. but i doubt she ever will. she's too focused on everybody else's actions being the cause of her misery.
FlabbergastedPa...
FlabbergastedPa... Interesting I don't know though hers is very complicated. Dh and yuck got married then got divorced. Dh and I met were together for a long time then we broke up for stupid reasons and were only broke up for a few weeks then started taking again. Then yuck called and said she is preggo (he had a one night stand with her) he wanted to do the right thing and married her again, but then found out that ss16 is NOT his!! Dh adopted him.
Now during this time dh and I saw each other a few times til I told him he needed to either leave her or work it out. He wanted so badly to be with me but then they found out she was preggo again, so he decided to work it out.
Fast forward to 5 years later (we did not see each other during this time) I was at a store looking for something on the very bottom shelf and fell on my butt only to look up and see dh. He helped me up and said he had been looking for me as he left yuck for good and already started the divorce a few months before.
So I am wondering if it is the hurt from before the first time or the second time?? The father of ss16 maybe?? What I do know is that ss16 bio dad signed over his rights and everything b/c he couldn't deal with her and wanted NOTHING to do with yuck at all!! Couldn't handle being around her without wanting to kill her. That is what he said anyway, yes I met him. He seemed to be a good guy but he just couldn;t be around yuck or handle her and her crap.
So i guess it was before she even got with dh the first time. Maybe something in her childhood!?
Whatshername left because
Whatshername left because everything wrong in her life was FDH's fault. He was a horrible person and she was going to be so much better off without him. So, how'd that work? Well...
Two years later, she still isn't working, has shown absolutely no progress as far as getting some kind of life and does little to nothing with her children when she has them. But, everything is still FDH's fault.
She's a bitter, nasty, lazy woman whose only real career has been as a professional victim.
BM blames DH that she is a
BM blames DH that she is a neglectful mother by saying if they were still together she would be a better parent. :jawdrop: