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MIL and what she asked yestersday.

purpledaisies's picture

I know i've been a blog hog today but I don;t post many blogs.

Anyway MIL asked why we are so dead set against going to church? We didn't have to answer but she wanted one by thanksgiving. :jawdrop:

HUH? First I'm not against church or religion but that I am just not very religious. I just can't bring myself to believe that god is what everyone makes him out to be and that I should believe that everything the bible says is true since it has been translated and handed down and most stories are from memory. Plus I have done research on some of the stories and it can be related to just the environment and other sources. This is all my own opinion. I am not here to judge anyone or to tell them I think they shouldn't believe or anything but that we have our right to live our lives the way we think is best.

Now I'm not posting this to start a debate about if god is real or not. I'm just posting that I don't understand why MIL seems to think we can't live our lives the way we want to live and believe what we want to believe. Now what to say to MIL on thanksgiving??

Thanks for listening

Comments

skylarksms's picture

I don't know the exact chapter and verse but I DO know that somewhere in the New Testament, Jesus said that God was not to be worshiped in the temples that man make.

Maybe you could search up on it? Smile

stronggirl's picture

You should tell her that is your family day or relationship day and that you and your SO want to spend the time together. and if she keeps bugging you about it put the teen answer and say you don't want to talk about it anymore....cuz really it is none of her business

purpledaisies's picture

Thanks! interesting I will have to look that up too. I just feel that if you try to live your life the best you know how and to be the best person you can you should be just fine. Isn't that what it is all about anyway?

Eagle Eye's picture

I would tell her what you told us. You are not religious. Smile

Besides that who does she think she is? You are an adult and are perfectly capable of making your own decisions!!

Not to start a war here but a lot of so called religious people that I have come across are usually hypocrites!! I choose to stay away and mind my own business!!

stormabruin's picture

Is she wanting you to go to church for Christmas, or just to go to church in general?

DH & I were raised in different religions. We both have our beliefs. Some we share & some we don't. We respect that. We have attended my church a few times & we've attended his a few times. I guess we both kind of feel like we carry our beliefs in our hearts & we don't have to go to a building & participate in a service to be believers.

We do go to church with MIL a few times a year, though. We go on Easter, Mothers Day, & Christmas. It's something that's important to her & it's really neither here nor there for us. We go because it's something that she really enjoys & it makes her feel good.

DH's sister, on the other hand, refuses to step foot inside a church...for anything. She had the devil scared into her by a fire & brimstone preacher when she was little & is absolutely terrified of the idea, so she doesn't go.

Nobody should feel obligated to attend if it makes them uncomfortable. It's an individual decision. It's something that's supposed to make you feel good. If it doesn't, don't go.

stormabruin's picture

So she's asking you to commit to go to church every Sunday & she needs an answer by Thanksgiving??? What happens if you say no on Thanksgiving but decide later you want to?

You don't owe her an answer either way. You do what you feel good about doing. If you choose to go to church, it'll come in your time, not hers.

My thought is that if it isn't in your heart to be there & your presence is only physical, there's no point.

purpledaisies's picture

Oh most defiantly bm goes to church every Sunday! She is the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen!

stepmasochist's picture

I love the flying spaghetti monster. There's a great wikipedia article on it also.

The OP can tell her MIL that they don't go to church because there's no church of the flying spaghetti monster locally so they just worship at home.

purpledaisies's picture

Usually she is really good and lets us live our lives. I don't know where this came from. :?

purpledaisies's picture

I just talked to dh about this and we agreed to just tell her that

"That's our choice, not your choice."
"That's our decision, not your decision."
"Sorry you feel that way."
"That's your choice."
"That's your decision."
"Sorry you feel that way."
"That's our choice, not your choice."

keep repeating

thanks stepaside

mommylove's picture

"Going to church every Sunday dosent make you a Christian anymore than standing in a stable makes you a horse."

No debate about scripture necessary since the statement is not applicable analogy. The only definition of Christian is that you believe in Christ, that he lived, that he was crucified, and that he rose again. It can be safely presumed that people who go to church every Sunday are Christians.

Thank you for this! I have been trying to explain this to people for years and they don't seem to get it. I am a Christian, but I am not a regular participating member of organized religion.

purpledaisies's picture

We have (had) a great relationship til she wanted to know why we don't go to church!

Dh did call her tonight b/c he wanted to get it over with instead of waiting til thanksgiving. he didn't want any tension for that day. He pretty much told her that it was our choice not to go and that we enjoy being with each other on Sun. as that is the only day we really get as he works most sat. and I work nights Tue. - Sat. She seemed to be ok with that. Thanks ladies as I wouldn't have thought to tell dh to say what stepaside said.

iwishyouwould's picture

option #1 - Lie through your teeth, tell her you found a wonderful church, have seen the error of your ways and never have to have this conversation with her again

option #2 - Be honest, tell mother in law that you are not going to go to church, end of discussion, and be lectured about religion for awhile until she (hopefully) gives up and just glares at you everytime jesus/god/christianity/the holy spirit/religion/prayer/church/xmas/easter/thanksgiving is mentioned.