Purpledaisies - I get it... You get it. Every woman here will get it. The thing is, your DH doesn't. In my opinion, you need to help him understand that it wasn't the biscotti, it was the disrespect of a gift, and something that was yours.

I don't honestly know if he will ever get it because he is looking at it like something that is replaceable. And in reality, it is. It really is something that you could buy for yourself and hide away from them. Unless it had some special wrapper or something that specifically designated it as a gift.

I think the thing that might help you see past this is to really think about what you are upset about. After the biscotti was gone, and the bag was empty, you would throw it out, right? So it's not the cookies, it's not the bag. It's not possibly even that it is something your daughter gave you. I think it's that the skids took more than they were allowed. I think it's that the skids took something you were looking forward to having. I think it's that you feel the skids have disrespected your generousness and your husband isn't supporting that.

So? What can you do? He needs to see it from your point of view. Is there anything in the house that he specifically likes? Or is there something he has that you can compare it to? That's the only way I can see him understanding this.

But I wouldn't let it get to you too much. In my own opinion, I hope you can understand - yes, this is annoying. But is it enough to chalk up against the skids? If this isn't one worth letting go for you - the starburst definitely should be.

Look - my sister in law and her husband are having major problems. They are having a baby and the husband wants to name it Tess after an aunt. My sister in law likes the name! She just doesn't want to name the baby Tess because it's her husband's family and so she doesn't want to give in on it. It's little stuff like that, that can add up and make things go bad. If she hated the name, I would agree with her argument. She likes the name, she just doesn't like him, so she is fighting.

I think this is the same sort of thing. It's something relatively minor, that is turning into something much bigger than it should be - and that's only because it's something that is replaceable. Your DD's thought is still there.

Sorry...M

Maybe I'm being a little petty when I write this but, oh well. Since DH doesnt "get it" I'd make sure to show him. Next time he has something, or gets as a gift, sit back and make sure you let the kids eat it, and then feign surprise when he gets all mad about it being gone.

~OR~
you could just give him that senario. "how would you feel if you had a gift of such an such and I just sat back and let the kids eat,use,destroy it

(I do this to my DH all time (the second option) and he finally gets why I'm so mad and upset. He finally "sees it")

This is just utter disrespect on your husband's part, plain and simple. Obviously, he doesn't "get it." DH got some candy for his birthday. I KNOW he would let our kids have some, but he wasn't home to give them permission. It belongs to him. So I told them no. When he got home, they asked, and he said yes. I knew he would. But this was his possession, his gift, and it was his place to decide who got it.

The biscotti were your possession, your gift, and it was your place to decide who got it. Any way you can drill that through his thick skull?

So if you celebrate Easter, you eat all of their Easter candy out of their baskets before they get a change and see what DH has to say about it then. After all, they can go get more candy right??

I guess it is a man thing. Food is usually in the kitchen and meant to be eaten. So it gets eaten.

My wife will get upset with our son (my SS-18) and I if we eat something over the course of the week and she does not have any. :?

Certainly I get that the Biscotti was a gift from your DD. However, food in the kitchen is fare game in a family situation. At least IMHO.

In a room mate situation it is different but in a family situation these things are tough to control. Separating food for a single person in a family, with the exception of special dietary needs, can be a dangerous precedent to set.

As for a gift ...... next time call a family meeting and inform everyone that the particular food item is a gift and is meant only for the individual who received the gift. That way everyone knows unequivocally that that food item is off limits.

If it is on the shelf and no communication occurs then it is free game for every snacker in the house.

IMHO of course.