The boy needs to get some friends, stat
BM's and SM's of teenagers, can you tell me if this shit is normal?
Skid1 is 13.5 years old. So far this summer, he has spent a sum total of zero minutes with kids his own age, and approximately 9,865,732 minutes up DH's ass.
I don't have bios, but I do have nephews the same age, and I can tell you that they are NOT like this. They are always doing things with friends and generally trying very hard to avoid being near their parents. I was the SAME way - you couldn't have PAID me to spend that much time with my folks as a teen. I found an under the table job at that age and rode the bus back and forth to it just to get away from them, and have pocket money. Skid2, who is 10, is pretty independent and is always trying to make plans with friends to come over and play or whatever 10 year old boys do.
Skid1 is attached to DH like glue, every chance he can get. I find it odd and annoying.
Last weekend, we had another couple over to enjoy the patio and hang out. They brought their son, who is skid2's buddy, so the 2 of them were off doing their thing all night. Barely heard a peep from them except when they were hungry.
Skid1 pulled over a patio chair and was a fifth wheel all evening. I didn't mind for a few hours, but when the clock was pushing midnight and skid was STILL trying to join adult conversation, I reached my limit of watching what I say because a kid is present. I sent DH a text telling him to get his kid to bed NOW, or I'd go to bed myself and he could enjoy his double date with his son. Skid1 was sent to bed, and we got to enjoy about an hour of adult time. Yay.
DH obviously doesn't find it annoying because he loves his son and wants to spend time with him, but holy moly sometimes I just need the kid not to be around.
Am I out of line for thinking this is weird? Or is this just how kids are these days?
Is there a match.com type site for hooking teens up with other kids their age? If not, someone needs to make one.
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I have a 16 yo ds and a 13 yo
I have a 16 yo ds and a 13 yo dd. DS wakes up sometime around noon does his chores, showers and is out the door till 11pm curfew. he may grace us with his presence for a meal or 2. He will check in with me during the day, that is just a rule. If he is with me it is because I am driving him and his friends some where. My dd's BFF is in Columbia till August so she has been a little clingy but she has other friends and does make plans.
Skid sounds like your SS. He
Skid sounds like your SS. He CAN be social, but he makes no effort to reach out to other kids at all. It's possible that he's uncomfortable with me, but I really don't think so, or at least I hope not - I've lived with him for 2 years and I've known him since he was 5.
I'm trying to be very patient with the fact that he is stuck to DH like glue. He had a school situation a couple of years ago - got himself expelled from the middle school near our house, and no other middle school nearby will take him. He went to live with BM during the school year last year so he could attend the school in her neighborhood, and will be doing it again this year (skid2 will stay with DH and I, as usual), which means he'll only get to see DH EOWE and school breaks. I'm sure he misses his dad a lot. It's just so effing annoying! I want to be able to talk to my husband from time to time, not my husband and a 13 year old.
This^^^ My kids aren't that
This^^^
My kids aren't that social but they are good kids with good values.
They are well adjusted, usually delightful to be around, smart, funny.
They would rather be alone than settle for loser friends because they know who they are and how much they are loved and have very high standards.
They are close but not clingy.
If they were glomming 24/7 maybe I would worry.
When I was age 12 and on, I
When I was age 12 and on, I was hardly ever home. I was always out and about with my friends. Or if I was home, I had friends over.
Now I was a momma's girl for a long time. But once I hit the age of friends, music, hanging out, and then boys... um yeah all I wanted to do was hang with my friends.
Ugh and I hate that- having the teenage kid hang around the adults. Skids used to do this all the time. So F'in annoying.
Chiming in to say you are not
Chiming in to say you are not weird and this is totally normal. My DW will not send my SS to bed ESPECIALLY if it's a holiday/vacation. She'll let him stay up way past his bed time and yes, she'll gladly let him interrupt our conversations. Like you I just quietly go inside and go to bed. I won't even bother saying good night.
No, this is not normal.
No, this is not normal. What's not normal is that your DH doesn't tell SS to go play/watch TV so the adults can enjoy their conversation without having a 13 year old butt in every five minutes.
My exBF's son did this. It was exactly the same situation, me, BF, my friend and her husband. We're all on the porch drinking beers and want to talk and BF's son is sitting right there. BF is sitting there like a dummy, completely oblivious to the fact that people have to censor their conversation because his kid is around.
I finally told the boy to go play with the other kids so we could talk.
My eldest daughter is 15, I have to beg her to come hang out with me. She'd rather be in her room on her phone or watching YouTube videos.
ETA - Your DH needs to tell his son to leave the adults alone so they can talk. It amazes me sometimes what men don't see, but if he doesn't NOTICE that his son is up his butt, you need to open his eyes.
Ughhh...I just had a big
Ughhh...I just had a big fight with DH about this very thing this morning. We are going on a weekend getaway to see my family (leaving tomorrow). This is actually SS14 week to be with BM. However, he wanted to come with us to visit my nephews..and I said that would be ok. The ONLY thing I asked of DH was that I have Thursday night and Friday morning off to myself before we leave. Well, SS asked me if he could come over Thursday night, and I said "no we will pick you up on Friday afternoon when we are leaving". I expressly told DH I didn't want this and he agreed! So this morning DH calls to tell me that SS14 is coming over tonight...WTF? I work all week and just want to relax before we leave. I asked DH why he had done this, and he said to me "well, what do you expect me to do...SS14 is lonely...he has no friends and just wants some company" Really I am so mad...is it my problem he doesn't have any friends and I need to entertain him??? SS14 doesn't leave my alone either...he will be stuck to me like glue...arrghhh.