what would you do?
We are having a wkend away with the 2 youngest SD's. The 17yo is competing all day with SO assisting. The plan was i spent the day with sd9 shopping and cinema etc. Last night i find out sd19 has caught the train down amd is gatecrashing in her sisters room. SO was aware of this. When we said gdnight and were arranging times for sd9 to come to me i discover sd19 wants to take sd9 shopping and sd9 reacts as always when she is placed in a difficult situation by refusing to talk and burying her head. I told SO its fine sd19 can spend time with her siater then i left the room.
SO followed a couple of minutes later and asked what was wrong.
I explained we had plans and sd19 has again selfishly disrupted them amd placed sd9 in a difficult situation. He later texted sd19 saying she could spend time in morning with sd9 but i was to have her in the afternoon as i had plans.
Now here is where i am torn.....
i am tempted to ignore sd19 and let her keep sd9 until SO is back, which i know is going to cause an issue as she has plans early evening.... shes ruined my plans! -quid pro quo
or do i tell her i need sd9 by a certain time and carry on as originally planned, though sd19 as usyal gets what she wants with no consequence to her actions.
I am not happy with SO nor sd19? But then sd9 not my monkey so why dont i do my own thing today amd forget all about sd9.
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I would disappear for the
I would disappear for the entire day and a portion of the evening while I go and do my own thing.
Quid pro quo! If SD19 never
Quid pro quo! If SD19 never has any consequences for her actions, ruin her plans. It sounds like she wasn't raised to be a considerate human being. Let her stay with SD9 till SO gets home. She needs to learn that she's not the only one in the world, and that everyone else shouldn't reorganize their lives for her convenience, and if they do reorganize, she needs to deal with the consequences of her plans being ruined! She doesn't respect any of your lives, what you/the adults might have planned with the children/siblings, lives or plans, it sounds like. How spoiled and selfish to think that! She's a brat! She needs to be taught a lesson, unfortunately 10 years ago... You need to pick up some wine or treat yourself or something! Not your monkeys - let them be monkeys together!
Im having a lovely morning
Im having a lovely morning been shopping, treated myself to lunch out and been ignoring the texts shes sending asking when am i picking sd9 up from her.
She wont change, like u said should have been dealt with years ago. SO is to blame for that.
So she ruined your plans for
So she ruined your plans for the day and before 10am was contacting you about pickup time for SD9. Good for you for ignoring her. Hope you turned off your phone and went to the movies as planned. Double feature even.
And how is it that it was even ok for her to come crash in a hotel room you were paying for without checking ahead of time? Sounds like she was just using the free hotel room to accommodate her plans for this evening. Watching the little sister all day sounds like a good consequence to earn her lodging fee for last night.
I gave in at 3pm and took the
I gave in at 3pm and took the sd9 to the cinema as sd19 kept texting saying sd9 was upset and wanted to go to see the film. I made it awkward for sd19 by i set the time and place for handover to suit me.
As usual she couldnt bring herself to even say hello to me so i ignored and just spoke with sd9. We had a lovely late afternoon film showing and SO is fully aware of how the day panned out. He is also aware that i wont be offering to help in future if he allows sd19 to sabatoge plans. We had a very honest discussion this afternoon and i made it clear that he was the issue as he needs to pull sd19 up on selfish ways.
He agreed and apologised to me but i know it will happen again if i offer
Therefore i wont be!
I would've switched off my
I would've switched off my phone for the entire day and leave SD19 to look after SD9 for the whole day....
sorry lady if you ant to come and take over, you will keep the kid for a full day, she's not a doll you can play with for an hour or two, disrupting all plans made before... nah if you stuff up my plans, believe me I will eff up your plans for a full day