Looney Toones Comment
Well, last week when I was going through a bunch of crap the adult Skids were laying on me I thought of something funny and wrote it down on a scrap of paper in the bathroom (that's were it popped into my head)and yesterday evening my husband acted like he just found this scrap of paper, came out into the kitchen and asked me what it was all about. So, I told him I had written down last week when his adult Skids were treating me like crap (like they've changed any?)and he asked me what was written on that paper (as though he couldn't read) so I told him, "I thought Warner Bros. only created Looney Toones, but I was wrong, my husband's ex-wife did a fine job of creating Looney Toones as well". Well, he told me in no uncertain terms that he didn't appreciate it. Nice. Once again I am the bad person here. I guess I am suppose to keep everything inside and never let anything out. I am going to lay odds that his little mollycoddled brats and him are talking in not too friendly of a manner behind my back again. Just because I haven't heard from the Skids doesn't mean that there isn't a whole lot of crap going on in the background. I wonder if he realizes he just stuck up for his ex-wife as well there?
Comments
Yep, that's how I feel about
Yep, that's how I feel about it too. When he told me he didn't appreciate it, I didn't defend myself. I just looked at him for a moment, shrugged my shoulders and went back to the work I was doing. I've been their doormat for way too long. He needs to stand up for me now and our kids together. I was actually kind of shocked that he would say "I don't appreciate this" to me about them after all they have put him, our children together and me through.
Which just jogged my memory-we had just laughed about this saying last week together when the adult Skids were going mental on us. Weird it would bother him now? Really weird.
My fiancee doesnt appreciate
My fiancee doesnt appreciate the comments i make about the skids, but i pointed out a valid point he couldnt argue with. Why should I say anything nice about them, pt any effort into being nice to them/ help them, or treat them with more respect (which would be any) than they treat me (these comments are only made in private, not FB)? What reason do I have to act like they've done or said nothing wrong? So after that comment was made he was quiet a moment and said I guess you dont really have any reason to. Since then i have had no comments from him. Sometimes i think men get stuck in their own point of view, I remind my fiancee of my view point as needed.
I'm pretty sure under no
I'm pretty sure under no uncertain terms did you ask him to appreciate it.
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
I have to say, if I found a
I have to say, if I found a note like that in my kid's backpack, and it had been written by DH, I'd wonder why he was being so passive-aggressive toward my child. You really should try to think of a different way to get your point across. Your DH isn't going to hear you when you take swipes at his children like that.
What? backpack/bathroom - not
What? backpack/bathroom - not even close to the same. Besides, it was just something that popped into her head. Not some thought out note specifically for her DH.
Where did the backpack come
Where did the backpack come from?
I am totally confused by the
I am totally confused by the backpack reference, too. That made no sense.
Yep, my bad. I saw
Yep, my bad. I saw 'bathroom' but my brain read 'backpack,' which sometimes my kid's backpacks smell like a bathroom, but that's besides the point... Sorry!
I had to take a valium yesterday for a "procedure," so I was right on the edge of fuzziness when I posted that. Oops!
That should be on the prescription bottle: "No driving, operating heavy machinery or posting online after taking this medicine."
Backpack/Bathroom...They are
Backpack/Bathroom...They are kind of close together. I wondered if maybe this wasn't what happened. Basically, a typo.
I agree, it won't matter if
I agree, it won't matter if you are with them for the trip or not. My DH tries that crap with me and it has worked right up until last week. Now, I don't care and I won't be around them. I really hope he doesn't try to force the issue. I bet he will though. What's the difference if they complain behind my back or in front of me? At least when it is behind my back I don't have to listen to it. I don't have the stress of being around them. It is great to be away from those spoiled rotten entitlement adult children.
I think back to my SS's wedding this spring. I didn't want to go, I knew it was a mistake. I didn't want my kids there. You know what, it wouldn't have mattered if I was there or not. Those Skids still hate me and my guess is they didn't really want me there. It probably made them uncomfortable having to deal with their mother and her father (their grandpa) while I was there. I didn't want to be there and all in all it was an extremely stressfull day. In the end, it just opened up a can of worms where I am now having to deal with their crazy BM at all family events and it gave her that one drop of control and boldness that she didn't have before. I remember the comment coming from the oldest SD, "Well, we're all going to have to get along like one big happy family!" What a jerk. We're not one big happy family.
This would make me crazy. I
This would make me crazy. I guess that's why I am at my witts end. I am tired of doing this kind of crap to please the Skids. I can't please them anyhow, so I'm throwing in the towel as far as they are concerned.
I mean, he wants you to drive your own car so he baby his little darling daughter? What a bunch of crap. She is really playing the poor darling routine to a hilt and your DH is completely playing into it. I would be so pissed off.
I think you're right. To top
I think you're right. To top it off, now that the drama has died down from all the crap that happened last week with his darlings, he happens to be in a piss poor mood. He should be in a good mood, because as far as I can tell all is quiet. My guess is though, is that things aren't quiet at all and I suspect he is kissing their spoiled asses big time instead of setting his foot down and sticking up for me.
I think If I would have found
I think If I would have found a note lying around the house like that, I would have been pretty ticked off. If i was in your husbands shoes, I would have bought you a journal with a lock on it nad told you to keep your little ideas that pop into your head in there.
I agree with the poster who said it sounds passive aggresive.
IMO, Having a problem or an
IMO, Having a problem or an issue with something is fine. Writing something you find *funny* (as per the OP) would be a little idea. She's the one who said it just *popped*(as per the OP) into her head. I don't really look at that as something that had a lot of thought put into it.
A responsible wife wouldn't leave a piece of paper with a negative *joke* on it lying around for anyone to see. Maybe a responsible wife would go and talk to her husband. I don't see how writing a note like that and leaving it lying around would do anything to further the situation.
Theirs is nothing wrong with journaling. Tons of people do it everyday. It doesn't mean you have to keep all your feelings inside. Think of it as somewhere you journal your deepest/darkest/meanest thoughts. Use it to help you organize your feelings, then when it's time to air them out or bring them up, you can do it with clarity, reasoning and maturity. Someone would me more likely to listen to that I think.
You're absoultely right about "two wrongs don't make a right" However, isn't writing a passive aggressive note and leaving if around for someone to find the "2nd wrong". I mean, RB feels wronged by these stepkids/husband so she retaliated.
No that's not better. But I
No that's not better. But I feel bad for you that you felt pushed that far.
Why didn't you call your husband an effing a-hole instead? It was him that you're angry with right? I'm assuming tha in most contentious situations like this, the bio parent is the one whol holds the cards? The one who has the ability to make things stop.
If hte husband doesn't want ot hear anything about his "little darlings" then the problem is with the husband no?
Yes I can see that. I would
Yes I can see that. I would not be happy with constantly hearing someone talk down about me.
But I still hold firm on writing notes like hte one the OP described as being passive aggresive.
Maybe the OP likes to
Maybe the OP likes to "journal" on litle notes! Who says it needs to be in a notebook? Besides - IN THE BATHROOM - OP wrote down on what was in there. Besides, whether or not the note was appropriate, DH should have had a conversation about the topic rather than get mad about it being written.
Your kidding me.... So the OP
Your kidding me....
So the OP can do whatever she wants out of anger but her DH has to keep his cool and talk about the issue at hand. That's absolute crap. Talk about an uneven playing field.
Smommy1: "So the OP can do
Smommy1:
"So the OP can do whatever she wants out of anger but her DH has to keep his cool and talk about the issue at hand. That's absolute crap. Talk about an uneven playing field."
First, I would like to ask if you have any idea how well my husband was handling any of this because he wasn't handling it at all, and the playing field wasn't the least bit uneven. Actually, he had the better end of the field as he is the one with the ability to talk to his children and teach them correct behavior, which he avoids because he doesn't want to deal with it because it is uncomfortable for him.
Oh...a poster board in the
Oh...a poster board in the bathroom, now that would be dangerous! : )
HAHA a poster board in the
HAHA a poster board in the bathroom...shoot my own kids drive me to insanity sometimes...I'm sure if I wrote thoughts that popped in my head they would think I'm a Tourette's closet case!
I'm Not trying to spank
I'm Not trying to spank anyone. I posted my thoughts that were quite similar to some elses a few posts up and got my ass torn to shreds by you. I'm just answering the replies sent to me.
Yes, OP can write whatever
Yes, OP can write whatever she wants to out of anger. Besides, OP didn't sound angry when she was writing it. She sounded like she was being a little bit }:) and it tickled her funny bone.
smommy1 - do you have a funny bone?
SillyGilly, you are right! I
SillyGilly, you are right! I had really been put through the ringer when I wrote that. I hadn't had any sleep, as the torture started early on a Sunday afternoon. Our phone started ringing contantly with message after message going on the machine about "SM is so mean, she is such an f****** bitch, if it wasn't for SM..this that and the other" I am assuming the BM was behind it or BM's father. Phone calls that start up like that just after all the Skids go to breakfast with BM's father are kind of suspicious. Anyhow, the calls didn't stop until right around 11:30 p.m. It was crazy. Anyhow, I made the mistake of answering the phone at one point when the SS called, and he has a way of belitteling and talking down. So, after hearing what an evil bitch I supposedly am, I am not feeling too good. I was pretty stressed and didn't even attempt to go to bed, because sleep wasn't going to happen. Now keep in mind, I had FOUR adult Skids working me over all day long. So, when I was getting ready for work in the morning I was in the tub and that popped into my head. I mean, it fit, damn funny all of a sudden. All of a sudden I could cope again. It wasn't meant to damage my DH's relationship with his kids from his first wife (they've already damaged that one thoroughly on there own-hell, BM moved to a different state before the divorce was even final so she could get away from them and DH has talked about moving just to get away from them)it was just a funny so I wrote down before I forgot it. Besides, one little note in the bathroom, written on one of hundreds of little scrap papers of my DH's that I usually have to gather every few months, go through, read for importance and throw when I'm on a cleaning spree!
"A responsibe wife wouldn't
"A responsibe wife wouldn't leave a piece of paper with a negative *joke* on it lying around for anyone to see. Maybe a responsible wife would go and talk to her husband."
Actually, I have tried talking to him about the situation, but let's face it, after he has heard the whinning of 3 adult daughters and 1 adult son he has really had enough at that point and he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say. Therefore, I come on this site to vent. Oh, and up until almost exactly one year ago now, if I would have had a journal lying around the house-locked, unlocked, locked in a cabinet, safe, whatever, these same little adult darlings who were all living there at the time would have somehow managed to get their sticky little hands on it and they would have read it, read it to their friends, their BM, and probably posted the contents on Facebook.
Whatever. I would have had a
Whatever. I would have had a good laugh if he would have said something like that about my ex-husband. His ex-wife is a complete loon and with their kid's together, well, the fruit didn't fall far from the tree. No, not passive aggressive. Just facts.
You have an interesting way
You have an interesting way of taking the seriousness out of hte situation.
Talk about someone's Ex vs.
Talk about someone's Ex vs. talking about someones kids is vastly different.
It was passive aggresive. We'll just have to agree to disagree
You know, I came on here to
You know, I came on here to vent. I am not passive aggressive. I'm not even sure if you know what passive aggressive means. I am generally supportive, caring and loving. People have told me I am easy to get a long with.
"Passive–aggressive behavior, a personality trait, is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It is a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.
It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible."
Sorry, this isn't me. What has happened is that I have put up with a whole lot of crap for the past 13 years out of a more than difficult BM and her 4 children. If I make a few jokes along the way, no big whoop. It's called blowing off steam-the opposite is called going postal. No one wants the opposit, trust me.
All I'm saying is I can
All I'm saying is I can understand why your husband got his back up against the wall. I can understand why he was mad. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be angry with tour situtation. I am sayign leaving notes lying around calling his kids looney toons isn't helping though.
Maybe what needs to happen is
Maybe what needs to happen is that the man needs to start sticking up for me (at least some) when it comes to his children from his first marriage. A lot of crap could have been avoided if he had made it clear to them right from the start that I was the other adult in the marriage and that they shouldn't treat me like I was one of their siblings or even beneath them. I spent a lot of time in the house that I bought being treated like I didn't belong there and had no say in my home by these enititlement Skids.
I agRee your hubs should
I agRee your hubs should stand up for you.
Ok, seriously - How on earth
Ok, seriously - How on earth can anyone really get THAT mad by referring to adult children as "looney toons" - it's just not that offensive. There are so many *offensive* words that could have been inserted.
DH is defensive of his adult children being brats and doesn't want to deal with it. THAT is the problem, not the note or anything written on it!
I could see dh being a little
I could see dh being a little pissed at me for writing that out. I couple also see me being pissed if dh was writing something like that about people in my family. And to answer your earlier question, yas I do have a funny bone. I don't often find humour at the expense of other sthough.
RB - without getting involved
RB - without getting involved in the argument here, my opinion would be that DH over reacted. This was a harmless and joking statement you wrote down. You didn't use vulgar language, you didn't hand it to him or his offspring to read, you didn't threaten them....People need to let up a little and laugh at life a bit now and then and call things how you see them. Sorry you dealt with WWIII over a joke!
If I thought I could get away
If I thought I could get away with it, without my husband totally losing it, I would try blocking the calls and filing a restraining order. Those stepkids are truly aweful toward me and a lot of the time they are aweful toward him.
It appears that Thanksgiving is going to be a real joy. We've been invited to my sister-in-law's house (husband's brother's wife) and she sympathisizes with the skids for the most part. My husband has promised me that none of the skids will be there, but I suspect this is just a big set up and that they will be there. I warned him today that if it is just a big set up that I have a back-up plan and I will load my kids up and leave him at my sister-in-laws house for the day. Period, end of story. He got pissed and wouldn't even talk to me about it. Basically, he does not want to hear anything out of me except for good things about his kids from his first marriage. I am starting to wonder what is going on in his head. I guess he thought that those kids could treat me like dirt forever and I would just smile and take it. Well, no one is that strong. I simply don't want to be around those skids anymore.
Can you imagine what most of
Can you imagine what most of our DH's would think it they were left to read all that was written on this site? Have you ever just wanted to leave your laptop open on a blog you had written to see his reaction????
That would be "just desserts'
That would be "just desserts' wouldn't it? It would totally freak my husband out.