My sd is 10 so I have'nt gone through that yet lol but I always think about "events" were I will have to see bm and idk what I would do if she trys something (although I doubt it because I saw her in court and I was the one who wanted to smack her for being the gold digging biotch that she is and all she did was walk faster and bring her bf to the next hearing lol) just go and enjoy the day if she says anything brush it off dont let it ruin ss wedding

Behave the way YOUR MOTHER would want you to behave. Remember, this day is for him. I don't know how long this step has been in your life, but you are there to support him. It will be an emotional day. His BM might act crazy, your DH might act crazy. He probably knows that. The future bride might also have 2 sets of family to deal with... Just let him know you care about him.

I think that;s all you can do. We had graduation here last weekend, and there were bio-parents, step-parents, grandparents, step-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and many other steps. We got through it. We did it for her. It was her day...

Hopefully she has the sense to not cause a sence at her sons wedding. If by some chance she does do not engage with her. You dont want you SS to be upset with you if she acts a fool and if you dont engage with her then there is nothing that he can say. Best of luck to you. Make sure to let us know how it goes.

Completely agree. Make sure you know who will be there that you can talk with, and if you do have to talk with the BM just be as gracious as possible. All that wedding small talk -- isn't the bride beautiful, flowers are lovely, that sort of thing. I lived through this and we all acted like grownups. The worst was meeting BM's family, and they all just stared me down. I was really glad I had planned some small talk and knew who would be around me so I didn't look at uncomfortable as I was. You'll be fine!

All you can hope for in this situation is that BM realizes it is better for all people involved to be civilized...at least for her son's sake. The more space between you all, the better. Stay far, far away!

If she tries to start anything with you or your husband, zip your lips. And if you absolutely can't zip your lips, I'd say to her that you will not engage in this conversation on SS's big day, then walk away and don't give her any more ammunition. Sometimes people like this truly think they are so "right" that they WANT to make a scene so that other people can see the situation. They think others will see the situation as they do - that it's unfair or how much of a witch you are or whatever their claim to bitchdom is. If she keeps trying to start something, it may be better to remove yourselves from the party, or at least take a cool-down outside somewhere before re-entering. Of course, all of this is much easier said than done, especially if alcohol will be involved.

Keep it your mantra that you and your husband will enjoy the day/night and not let anyone ruin your good time, or your SS's good time!