My SO moved a little faster than we initially planned. The plan WAS to wait 6 months. In reality, we lasted 6 days. Mostly because he couldn't stop talking about me and they wanted to meet me. We also moved in together too quickly (hindsight is 20/20...). We started dating at the end of June 2011. I moved in end of September 2011.

It's all been downhill from there...

BF introduced me to his daughter four months after we started dating. We figured it was better to introduce earlier, rather than later. We moved in together at seven months, but, and Big but here, we both knew what we wanted in our relationship and knew that our relationship was headed towards marriage. We had all the big talks prior to me even meeting his daughter, parenting styles etc. I feel like our time line has been just right for us. I love his daughter and she has adjusted well.

I dated a man with a 9 year old daughter for about a year and a half. He very much wanted to marry me. We had a great relationship.

I refused to marry someone with a minor child. I never met the girl (who is now almost 50!) From what I have read here I dodged a bullet.

My kids knew SO before we started dating since he lived with friends of mine and my f2f babysat form them and es played with their kids, we tried to keep our relationships hush hush but teenagers aren't stupid so they knew we were dating right away. They thought it was great since they already liked him. We'd been dating 5 months when circumstances led to him moving in in and my kids are actually the ones who suggested it as the friends he lived with were getting violent with each other and getting divorced but still living together he needed out.

I think we were 4 or 5 months in. SD & I have a decent relationship - despite her current idiocy.

But I would do things differently for my DS should this ever occur. I think waiting puts more pressure on the relationship and sets you up for stress when you finally do meet the kid. They are already defensive because they know you must be significant.

Not to mention, if I was going out with a girlfriend, co-worker etc. I wouldn't hide them. DS and they would meet when I got picked up or dropped off or something.

So, I would continue as normal & take the stress out of that first meeting.

I met the kids after about three months of dating (ok, two and a half months). I did not see much of them after that for several months. At first DH introduced me as his friend, which was fine with me. Skids were really young at the time so it wasn't a big deal. We didn't move in together until a year and a half of dating...

Ouch, Poor thing. Kids are so cruel. You're right I doubt she understands.

I wouldn't hide any dating potentials - I wouldn't be parading them through the home either. As for a father figure - I would point her towards uncles, family friends, grandpa, etc. and let her know that her Daddy can't be with her just now, but she can spent time with (some significant family male) who loves her like her Daddy did.

I have a girlfriend who's father died when she was very young, she has a "dad" who was actually her biodads BFF who stepped up to help out. He walked her down the aisle when she married & is now "grandpa".

My condolences and best of luck to you and your little one.

I want to say DH and I were dating about a month or so before we met each other's kids. We knew we were serious about each other. We started talking about moving in together even before that and I did move in after 9 months.

I had dated other men for significantly longer before him who DD never met.

Had I known then what I know now that meeting would have been the last time I spoke to DH!!! He's just shy, he'll warm up to you. Ha! LOL.

when we met, sparks flew immediately and we were both very serious about our intentions. the week after we met, we saw eachother every day except one. the week after that was their family vacation. we talked daily on the phone- cant hide that from skids or inlaws in that close of quarters! YSS (then 4) even bought me a souvenir even tho' he hadnt met me yet! so it was natural the next weekend he had them, i met them. DH and i havent spent a night apart since they got back from that vacation. that was 5 years ago

We got to the point about 8 weeks in where it felt like 'I have to see how this guy is with kids before I can move farther into this.' So they met around 10 weeks. His kids knew about me before they met me and my boys didn't really know about him before they met him so he started out as my 'friend.' We honestly knew by that point that we were a permanent fixture. We did move in soon too, but that hasn't done any damage. SO works an opposite shift so my kids had no idea for 6 months that he even lived at our house because they never saw him. Now, my oldest won't go to sleep until he knows SO's home from work. They ask about him all the time. They love him.

A week after our first date BUT I had known him from school, and his son wasn't quite 2 yet. We figured it was no different than him having any other friend over.

We only waited two months, but knew we were getting married by our third date, so.....

BM introduced the skids to their new stepfather AFTER they were married, which was ONE WEEK after her and DH's divorce. Keep it classy, BM! Keep it classy.