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Do I tell DH or not that skid didn't follow the rule again?

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 05/13/2015 - 1:18pm

So, I know that skid (OSS) yesterday technically followed the rule that his phone stay in the kitchen while doing homework. (This is the next day, after the "you're picking on my kid" convo about it that time). DH was gone with other YSS. Instead of taking the phone back to his room, he spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen on it while DH was gone. So, if DH asked him if the phone stayed in the kitchen, OSS can truthfully say it did.

You can't scam a scammer. I played these games with my parents. I know what questions to ask and how to spot a half truth.

Im gonna have to ask MIL is DH was a goody two shoes.

Do I tell DH? My concern in not saying anything is that the bad behaviors escalate to more than just extra phone time as he gets older (he's 14).

Comments

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 05/13/2015 - 1:26pm

Sigh, that's what I thought.
Can't wait to see what happens the next couple of years.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Wed, 05/13/2015 - 1:36pm

Keep it to yourself. This is coming from the SM who used to try to point out to DH when I noticed that SD was doing something less than kosher and it 100% of the time backfired on me. SD would come off smelling like roses because big, bad, meanie bitch Daizy was picking on the poor poopsie, because I just hate skids.. blah blah... you know the lecture.

So I stopped. I let her hang herself. Because guess what... eventually they WILL! I knew SD17 was drinking and going to parties and such well prior to her actually getting arrested for it last summer. But I said nothing. No point. Nothing good would come of it. The only downfall is that when they DO eventually hang themselves it is pure 100% TORTURE to keep a smile off of your face and refrain from skipping around the house saying "I told you so"

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 05/13/2015 - 1:39pm

yeah, from experience, let these things come up to dh on their own withOUT help from you. sometimes they need to see it for themselves to believe it. and sometimes they're CHOOSING to not deal with it, and it's annoying them that u're not letting that happen. that's when you become the target, not the kid.

if dh REALLY cares, he'll check useage time during homework time. if he doesnt check that, then he doesnt really WANT to know.

dont put the bulls-eye on your own back!

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 05/13/2015 - 2:48pm

To respond to some of the comments/suggestions:

I have asked DH several times how he'd like us to parent together (since he says he wants to). I've learned that he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want me to do nothing so I asked what he'd like me to do. Well, that changes based on the situation to make whatever it is something that he doesn't deal with.

The phone really cannot go missing since it's BMs, so we'd probably owe her a new phone. Though that might be a way to get OSS on our plan. And, it feels dishonest to make it go missing.

I'm worried about my ability to hold it in. So, when the chickens come to roost I will take a day off to be by myself, or maybe rent a hotel room, where I can skip around singing "I told you so."

If you look at a previous post about this same issue, it includes lots of excuses for why a particular time didn't count or why the rule might not be fair. Been there, done that.

We could give all the parameters we want, as soon as a parent is out of eye/ear-shot, they'll try stuff. Duh. What I don't get is why DH didn't just take the phone with him so OSS could not use it at all. DH has taken it with him once before.