What do you all do about things that end up at BMs house?
I don't mean kids clothes and lunch boxes. I gave that up a long time ago to DH. Well, except when my lunch box goes missing. What I mean is stuff that I brought into the house after we got married or bought for this house. Things the kids might use like insulated water bottles, carriers/bags, bike locks, etc.
I've mentioned to everyone in the house that certain items are "mine" as I use them almost every day. However, DH and the skids have no boundaries and will put their hands on anything. Perhaps it's that my kid and I moved into their house. But they have no regard for leaving each other's and DHs stuff untouched either.
DH told me he'd just buy whatever is missing. I don't want to spend money and time getting things again. (We don't have separate finances.) Why can't BM just return things? My ExH and I are conscientious about returning things. It's possible.
Short of turning my bedroom closet into an efficiency apartment to keep their mitts off of it, how do you all cope?
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We tell SS that what is in
We tell SS that what is in our house stays in our house. We do not let him take things from his house to our house or vise versa. Even clothes are that way here. He has clothes her and clothes at BMs house. What he wears here is what gets washed and he goes home in. If you don't do it that way you are asking for trouble or to not have your things come back with a BM like ours.
Your husband is willing to
Your husband is willing to pay for the items. Just accept the money.
You can't make your husband (the man who loves you)respect your stuff. There's no you can make BM (a woman who may hate you)return the items.
That fact that he's willing to pay,means he isn't going to put an end to this.
If this is important to you
If this is important to you then you have to make your husband's life with you worse for him not getting BM to return your items, than it would be if he asked BM for your things. That is what I would do anyway. And let him know that you don't want replacement items, you want your things because they are yours and right now you consider them to have been stolen by the kids and he needs to sort it out and fix it.
Why are they even walking out
Why are they even walking out of the house with your things, taking them to BM's in the first place?
I would tell them that they leave with what they brought, nothing extra.
Why does your DH not feel the need to teach them to respect other people's property?
Her husband doesn't even
Her husband doesn't even respect her property. So how can he teach his kids to respect her stuff?
Honestly, I had to teach DH
Honestly, I had to teach DH to respect my things. I teased him and corrected him like a bad puppy (which I had just recently gotten) or whined like a 2 year old - mine, mine. I even threatened him with a rolled up magazine. Sounds silly but it worked.