Dh is gonna likely sleep all day while I'm here at work. It went well for the most part. I was kinda thinking there'd be more drama, since it surrounds that girl, but yeah, nothing.

Oh and BM emailed DH last night and said SD's EKG results were normal. No shit. The kid is a fucking drama queen, that's the only thing that caused her heart palpitations.

I always thought she was average, from the photos I've seen. But time has not been kind to her. DH said she looks like she's on drugs!

She's a heavy smoker too so that'll age ya quickly.

And that's why we did go! Just to prove that point!

LMFAO No shit. I was hoping BM's boyfriend would've showed. Maybe they're already over and that's why BM went for more CS?

I really thought there would be some drama, seriously. That girl can't walk into a room without creating SOME sort of chaos. But yeah, last night was very low key. Not pretty, but low key.

I don't know what type of backlash we'll have coming our way? From SD? BM? What are your thoughts?

Oh yes, and now she's BM's full time issue. You can tell she's following in mom's footsteps just by seeing how closely she copies BM's looks/dress.

DH and BM created the girl but the minute DH steps up and starts to parent, she flees to her mother because her mother still treats her like a precious fragile flower and gives her everything she wants.

Either way, I'm glad we went too, if only to prove to her that she can no longer call the shots or dictate how DH and I live!

You're right Echo - it's all FIL wants. He has a decent relationship with DH's older brother and his girls but SD is the favorite and he blatantly shows it (which is what bothers me about him). He indulges her and enables her to treat her father and I like shit and then we're supposed to roll over the minute he gets a text or she looks at him and say "OMG, she's SO great, she SMILED at us!"

That's the issue I am having. FIL is a great man. He's a major family man and he just turned 64 last month and said "My time is limited, I want to see my family together and happy". I get that, yes, I do.

DH seems calm and cool about it all. He says it is what it is and that's just life. He wants SD to know he'll be there no matter what and that was his accomplishment.

I'm just glad there wasn't any drama. I was overly prepared for it and then kinda let down when we left and NOTHING, you know? It was like getting all hyped up for a big game but the other team just doesn't even show up.

LOL Anon!!!

Sunflower - that's optimistic, but I honestly think that Stepdevil will be under her mom's thumb for a LONG time. Mom's only baby, she wants to keep her that way and keep her close by, so she hinders her growth and makes her dependent on her just so mom has someone. It's sad and sick but yeah, that's her.

Thanks goodtimes! It was definitely enlightening to say the least. Not sure if DH got as much joy in me comparing my looks to hers (He was married to the nasty whore after all) but yeah, I was elated in the fact that even on my very worst day, I could easily beat her in the looks department!

Ditchpig = elephant's ass. Got it. I Love the visuals!!!!

The message was clearly received by them both from what I could see. SD was truly pissed we were there and BM although not showing any emotion (which is what DH says is her "all the time" look), definitely wasn't a happy camper.

Mission accomplished!

I didn't realize BM was ugly until last night. I've only seen pics and her from a distance so I couldn't quite tell, she looked average to me.

But now I can jump on the bandwagon and join the ladies here who all look 100x better than the BMs!

Anyhow, like I said, I was shocked at the lack of drama but glad it went well. DH was disappointed BM attended, because he said she never went to stuff like this before and he wanted to at least be able to say he attended and she didn't. But oh well right?

Thanks Dog Person! Yeah, it was really something I was all amped up for and then it was like "shit, I was ready for a fight and the other person didn't even show up" kind of thing. I wasn't WANTING a fight, but I was prepared for it.

DH has gotten better over the past 6 months or so. I think he's just been so low that it scared him and now he refuses to allow any of what BM or SD does to bring him back to that level again. He said it's time to focus on OUR lives, OUR happiness and OUR future. If SD doesn't want to be a part of that, it's her choice and she'll miss out on a lot.

DH often says "it takes an IQ of 78 to open a door, it's miraculous she can even accomplish that task
________________________________________________________________________________________________

^^This is SD. She's as dumb as a bag of hammers. For her to be receiving an award for ANYTHING is a shocker to me. Then again, she's repeating this material so she should know this shit well. She should be finishing her freshman year right now and hasn't yet to walk thru the high school doors because of her being held back a grade.

Shit, FIL and DH were just over the moon that she's finally up to an 8th grade reading level with her peers...her classmates are in the high school now, guys, remember? So in essence, she's still a year behind!

Either way, all I can hope is that she graduates on time so CS will end when she turns 19. I'm so over CS!

Yeah chokin - definitely was a good thing for DH. Me, I just got to have satisfaction of showing my face to BM and SD and them hating the very fact that I was even there! WOOOOO

Thanks for thinking of us. It truly was something I didn't expect. I expected drama, a scene (by either SD or BM) and definitely didn't know that I'd come out of it with my head held high knowing that BM and SD are losing out on such a wonderful man and *I* have him.

He does mean well, FIL. He's one of the sweetest, kindest men I've ever met and the apple didn't fall far from the tree since DH and his grandpa are the same. Grandpa, FIL and DH are like looking at one man just different ages and I so love grandpa. He's in his late 80's, has been with grandma for 67 yrs and couldn't be a better man.

All I can do is let DH handle Sd the way he wants to. I'm glad I talked him into going to this thing though. After he got SD's nasty text, he was dead set at not showing. I know BM would've jumped on that and told SD that her father doesn't love her or care for her, won't be there for her, etc. Further PASing her into hating him that much more.

Now, SD can clearly see that dad DID show up. So did I, which burned her ass, but hey, I kinda like being the thorn in her ass for a change. She certainly was for me for a long time!

Goingcrazy - he expected it. Before we got into the truck to leave he said "I'm fully prepared for her to completely ignore us and act as if we don't exist, so don't do anything and we'll just see what happens".

Because he knows me and I would've called her out on her shitty ass behavior by saying something to her like "Gee, honey, our invisibility cloaks must work great because she didn't see us at all!" Or "Wow, way to be rude to your father and his wife, SD".

He asked me not to say anything so I didn't. I did chuckle a bit when they announced awards for "RESPECT" and "INTEGRITY" and of course, SD didn't get either of those. Who rewards a kid for something they're supposed to have naturally?????//

Awwww I'm sorry hurt! That sucks ass. But you know what, even if she's gorgeous on the outside, you're way prettier than her. trust me. I'm being shallow when I say I'm happy I look better than BM on the outside. I've never been all about looks, but shit, this woman acts like she hung the fucking moon and she's a liar.

Thanks Red - I got my mission accomplished and so did DH. He said we can now just concentrate on OUR future and OUR lives and too bad that she doesn't want to be a part of it. She's missing out on a hell of a lot of good times.

My DD15 gets here next month for 8 weeks and I'm already making plans for her while she's here. I'm just happy today!

Thanks NoDoormat - I appreciate it. I know I was there for different reasons than he was, but yeah, I am glad we went. Just to see stepdevil's surprised and then pissy look made it all worth it to me!

Anon,

He can't plan to help her when she's not willing to get help. She doesn't think anything is wrong and told her mom she wants to go back to therapy and when the THERAPIST says she's ready and "emotionally healthy" enough to have a relationship with her dad, she'll THINK about it then. She's dead set against doing anything that involves her dad.

He has tried giving her space and time and he's tried forcing her to visit and work on their bond. Neither worked. BM's attorney drafted a new order stating that when SD feels she's ready to work on things between them, they'd do a 'tiered' visitation schedule.

We both tried to build her self esteem and confidence by suggesting she join karate class (would help her lose weight and build self confidence). She went to orientation and then said "no". We tried getting her involved in school sports and activities. She said "no". She's LAZY, plain and simple. She's the type to complain that she's being teased for her weight but will beg for seconds saying she's starving and then want dessert on top of that.

She's had basic health tests and evaluations and just had been diagnosed with heart palpitations recently but her EKG is normal, suggesting high anxiety/stress. She brings it on herself though. She's a drama queen and isn't happy unless she's creating chaos, a scene or drama so all the focus is on her.

DH has done all he can and now that SD lives with BM full time and doesn't want to even be in the same room with him - he's pretty much calling it quits. He'll still text her, call her, email her that he loves her and wants to see her. He'll follow her grades and school activities and be a part of things like that awards ceremony. He'll still let her know he's there for her and supports her, but frankly you can't force someone to want to accept help.

Not much more he can do.

Hey Rising!

Yeah, she's truly nasty. I honestly didn't think she was that bad but seeing her up close in harsh gymnasium fluorescent lighting - wow. ICK! Even DH said "well, time has not been kind to her". ya think?

And sadly, stepdevil is following in mommy's footsteps. If you had to match parent with child, they go together like bookends. Totally the same.

Howdy Sweetnothings - I honestly didn't know BM was so nasty until I got to see her up close you know? I'd seen photos of her from his past and she looked average, not trashy, but now - yeah, she's just plain skanky. I realllllly wish I'd have been able to snap a pic of her!

I had to remember to bite my tongue, especially when stepdevil rushed past us without even looking up. I SOOOOO wanted to call her out but I promised DH I'd be good and not say a word. It wasn't easy and my bitchy side was SCREAMING to get out, but I had to be classy and adult about it. GRRRR! LOL

Shit, Drac0, I wrote and rewrote that blog entry 4 times to cut down on the words. I didn't want to describe so much of it you know? It really was an uneventful night!

And yes, SD showed how nasty she really is but granddad only saw the precious princess getting her award and the fact that dear old dad was there to congratulate her, not how nasty she was to snub him.

And BM - wow, I'm just so glad I got to see her up close. Not that there were any insecurities on my part but the fact that she acts like she hung the moon and clearly can't even pull off looking decent on her daughter's "big night" showed her true self.