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SS is a liar

ReginaPhalange's picture

We sent 18 yo SS to pick up pizza for dinner.  He took DH's debit card.  The next morning we had to leave early and DH asked SS where his debit card was.  SS couldn't find it.  DH told him to find it NOW.  No video games until he finds it.  DH said call the pizza place if you can't find it.

Througout the morning and afternoon, DH kept texting him and SS just kept saying "I'm still looking".  DH asked him if he called the pizza place.  SS said yes.  DH told SS that if he doesn't find the card, DH would have to cancel the card and order a new one, which means DH would not have access to his card for a couple weeks.  

 At about 6:00 pm (we left the house at 9:00 am), I called the pizza place right in front of my husband and asked if they had the card.  They said yes.  I asked them if anyone called in today to find it.  He said no.

This is the kind of BULLSHIT SS does all the time.  He always lies and cheats and he's so damn lazy.  Every time he comes to our house, he comes in pajama's.  Doesn't bring a change of clothes.  Doesn't shower, brush his teeth or change his clothes.  From the time he arrives, he sits 3 feet from the TV playing video games.  He plays it on blast until 5:00 in the morning, yelling and screaming at the players online.  Then he wakes up at noon and immediately turns on the vidoe games.  This is ALL his does all day, every day.

A couple months ago, we left the house at 5:00 am and told SS that he has to take out the dog (who is house broken).  We came home about 5:00 pm.  SS was sitting in front of the TV playing video games with a pile of dog shit 3 feet away from him near the front door.  Our dog is big, which means his shits are massive - and stinks as normal.  The shit had obviously been sitting there all day - it was dry and darker in color. I've picked up many a shits so yes, I know.  DH yelled and said, "WTH, why didn't you take him out - why didn't you pick it up".  SS said "I didn't see it!  I didn't know!"  BULLSHIT.  He's 18 years old and he is lazy as f##k.  He lies and does nothing all day.  He doesn't work or do anything.

I'm sick of it!!!!

Comments

CLove's picture

You and DH need to require him to get off the video and out of the house - to a job!

ReginaPhalange's picture

Also, I've disengaged in the parenting and discipline of this adult child.  I've been dealing with this shit for too long.  BM and DH need to figure it out.  I used to get blamed for EVERYTHING!  Being too hard on him, discipling him and punishing him - by BM.  DH would only defend me to her if I yelled at him.  BM would never take the blame or admit that her kid has issues.   I fight with DH about his child all the time and I'm over it.

tog redux's picture

Ugh, he sounds like my SS19, who thank god, is mostly alienated and doesn't come over anymore.  Last time he did, he complained that BM's boyfriend yelled at him because the dog got out while he had his fat face buried in a video game.

He lies all the time. DH recently asked how his college grades were, and he said he can't remember and lost his log on. Seriously? He also "didn't have time" to take the driver's test, and then "lost" his permit.

He's been a giant liar for as long as I've known him, and it's really hard to deal with. I believe NOTHING he says. Nothing. If he told me the time, I'd double-check.  It's really sad and disappointing for DH.

Why does this POS even come over? Let him stay at BM's.

ReginaPhalange's picture

Very similar!  SS got his license just before he turned 18 but had a car already paid for at least 2 weeks before he even took his test . His rich Step dad bought it for him.  SS just "didn't have the time to study and take the test".   LOL, but he had plenty of time to play video games.

tog redux's picture

Yes, he plays video games non-stop, but no time to take his driver's test. Apparently BM got him a car that's been sitting there for 2 years unused. lol.

My DH wouldn't give him a credit or debit card if a gun was held to his head. SS would undoubtedly bring it over to Mommy to use.

notasm3's picture

Kick his a$$ out. He’s 18 your DH can see him off site.   I have a strict no a$$hole policy for my home. 

twoviewpoints's picture

Glad the place had the card . 

I panic a bit sooner than your DH does. I expect card handed back to me the moment user returns home.  It's not a trust issue nor a lazy lying teen or anything like that, it's just my way. I handed someone my card as they walked out the door, I expect it handed back as they walk in LOL. I guess I think my wallet is naked without all it's proper belongs.

My Dh , right after he first started having to run errands for the first time in 35 years (I always did all the shopping and errands before the last few years, I'm weather dependent now due to my wheelchair) managed to lose the checkbook three times in less than three months.  I never left or lost the checkbook in thirty five years. Yes, we got it back (all intact thankfully and very quickly) but I knew it was missing as soon as he arrived home. I ended up getting him a motorcycle biker wallet/checkbook holder and chained it to him. LOL. Write check/hand cashier car, tear-off/ get back, immediately reenter it to safety.  My Dh was trainable. Doesn't sound like your SS is. 

I bet the pizza place didn't forget your SS. Walking into a public place with his pajamas on? 

notsobad's picture

Cancel the internet. No internet, no gaming. You'll never see SS again but that doesn't sound like a bad thing.

TrueNorth77's picture

So is DH saying no video games for lying and not trying to find the card? At the very least it should be no video games for the rest of his time there. Either way, he’s not doing SS any favors by just letting him get by doing nothing. SS obviously needs to be pushed to do things. What a worthless existence.

sunshinex's picture

I'll never understand parents who allow their kids to do nothing but play video games when they're not accomplishing anything else in life.

And I'm a huge gamer. So is my husband. But we've both agreed that NO VIDEO GAMES will be played unless room is clean, grades are good, and when older, a part-time job is secured. 

My SD is 7 and super into a few games she plays at BMs, but she doesn't play ANY video games here because her room is constantly a mess and her grades are crap. 

It's a simple rule and because we've always had it and the kids will grow up with it, they don't challenge it or get upset. 

If, when older, all of the above specifications are met, I'm happy to let them play as long as they want when they're off work. I personally could binge for 10+ hours pre-baby haha. 

ReginaPhalange's picture

For sure I don't agree with the video games.  I've disengaged with SS.  I fight with DH all the time about his son.  When he is at our house for the weekend, if I'm home, I usually watch TV in my room, if I'm not cooking or cleaning.  This last incident, I told DH not to let SS play video games until her finds the card and because he lied, I said no video games.  SS left shortly after that tho to go back home.  I don't know what BM does.  I don't think she lets him play Video Games as much, but she also doesn't teach him sportsmanship, work ethic, or life skills.  

I fight with DH all the time about his son.  DH will ream our son if he makes an error in baseball, but let's his oldest son do this shit.  I think there's guilt there from the split family thing - but whatever.  This kid is 18 and I've been battling with this shit since the kid was 2 years old.  I'm done fighting and trying to raise him.  As BM has reminded me for 16 years - he's not my kid.