Dunno if this note will ever reach the bf, but to say the least, I'm steaming today...

Dear BF,

Being disrespected and undermined so regularly in my own life and household has drained me. I seldom have focus to do anything beyond the basics at home, my interests and favorite hobby have long since fallen to the wayside. Presently, I can't even muster the energy to tackle an urgent work assignment.

Rescuing your friends and family members from their various crises; and soothing, comforting and catering to the 'fragile' BH's (SS13.5) feelings and needs (cough) seems more important to you than us working together. You leave me feeling that you will do anything possible to avoid talking to me about or working on OUR relationship. That we will never be a united front working together mutually towards any goals that we BOTH agree upon. What's the point if we don't have that? Oh, I forget. You and BM were perfectly content to live that way, why shouldn't it work for me too? Maybe 'cause to me that way of life is extremely dysfunctional and unpleasant. I avoided unnecessary suffering and torment when I lived alone and I will NOT continue suffering your sorry and unnecessary torment (that you insist is a "normal" way of life) to hang on to you.

So you think you need to get a job and rustle up the money to do the (DUI offender's) program to drive again and move around on your own. That takes priority over earning money to help support the household that you and your son live in and *I* foot ALL the bills on? Oh, I forget. Your constant whining and jabs about doing manual labor around the house and being my "Mexican" are supposed to relieve you from any financial responsibility to me or this household. Demeaning and berating all my work and struggle to keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and provide entertainment is ok because I'm "just lucky" to have so much money to blow on you poor unfortunates.

During his stay at and since BH came home from camp, I'm unable to shake my discomfort with his apparent belief that he has some right to act as an adult with equal or greater rights and privileges than the actual adults who live in my household, as well as any adults outside in the world; and that he is your parent. BH is NOT an adult and he damned sure isn't my parent, regardless that you passively submit to his tyrannical nonsense like it's ok for him to act as YOUR parent. If you truly believe that he and you are one and that he is your equal or above you (while I'm just the "bitch" house servant who doesn't matter), then neither of you have a place in my household.

BH's inappropriate and incessant need to know exactly where you are and what you're doing every minute of every day is sickening. I'm fed up with your excuses and failure to tell him to mind his own business and get his own life (of which you've actively enabled him not to have or develop). He is not a 'fragile' whittle baby and he uses his inappropriate needling, questioning and phone calls to control you and our lives together. He uses his 'desperate' (cough) need to talk to you when he's at school to disrupt his classes. He used it at camp to disrupt everyone else's activities and jobs, yet you were mad at camp staff for not being available to answer the phone instantly so you could comfort the sorry tyrant. Phooey on that nonsense!

That you both lack a sense of boundaries as far as our bedrooms has become my final straw. Last night I awoke to the bathroom light on and both bedroom doors wide open. EVERY night I awake to OUR bedroom door wide open, even though I carefully close it before going to sleep. For you to be so inconsiderate of my privacy even when I'm naked and uncovered is difficult (if not impossible) to forgive. That parading around the house brazenly naked was supposedly fine by the trailer trash whore that you were married to before we met doesn't console me in the least. I'm not her and I choose to share my body with YOU. No one else and especially NOT your minor son.